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[rik]

We've been asked the question:
"What's the best thing your partner has done to help you through the menopause?"

Your answers could create a resource here to help your relationships with your partners.

[rower]

When i feel down i tell him and he says what can i do to cheer you up, dont know id say so he suggest we go out for a meal if i dont feel like eating he suggest we go shopping and ends up buying me clothes.Sometimes he gives me a massage or does a nice meal. I find i cant hide my feelings he can read me like a book.He would even just drive around to get me out of the house.

[Libby Babe]

I think the best thing my husband has done for me is just always being there for me and being as patient as he can with me and not judging me when my hormones take over and I am horrible to him.  He is very calm by nature which is just as well really with what he has to put up with.  I am lucky to have him that's for sure!
Libby

[Cazikins]

"What's the best thing your partner has done to help you through the menopause?"

Well that is the 64,000 dollar question isn't it?

My personal experience may be different from others. I am 50 & my husband is 42. We married in 2002 & have no kids between us.

The best thing my younger husband has done to help me through the menopause is  being patient with me. He has also been considerate & understanding. How he has done it I do not know  . I have been a bitch, a cow & totaly self centered with my problems - but he has always understood & supported me.

Poppyrose's explanation & advice posted on here was excellent & I printed it off & showed it to him (about this time last year) & he said it helped him to understand what was going on. Maybe a good idea Rik to re-post it on here.

I feel I am lucky in some ways but I know there are ladies with a lot deeper reasons for getting support & love from their OH's - children must be a big plus, I mean wow sharing that experience I will never know.

My husband has never bought me flowers or "surprised" me with presents but I just know that he loves me for what I am - an old woman going through the menopause or the 40 year old he met & fell in love with in 1997.

[shaz]

My husband has been great with me during this time, I must have been a horror to live with as I have had major anxiety/depression problems since starting the per-menopause.  He is so understanding and patient with me, being there when I need a cuddle or just knowing when I need to be on my own.  He has always been with me when I have to visit my GP as I normally can't get out what I need to say as I am in such a state.  All in all is he brilliant and I love him to bits.

Sharon x

[Forgetful]

Hi

My partner is very patient with me, and he does the weekly food shop while I go out and have coffee and cake with a friend.

Forgetful

(He also remembers the things I forget!!!)

[Rosebush]

My hubby listens which is a big help also he is marvellous around the house & does most of the shopping, he even finds things i have lost

[Wolflady]

My hubby has been very good. Even though he hasn't understood what I've been going through, (well until I found this forum I didn't understand what I was going through either, ) hubby has been very supportive and has given me a hug when I've been tearful and feeling down. I have had and still have, his total support. He still hugs me and then he leaves me to it when I'm having one of my moods, which is the best thing he can do when I'm like that.
He does the housework when he is on his 4 days off and does dinner too. He has even started doing the one job he hates and that is ironing.
I wonder if I would be as good to him as he is to me if he were going through the menopause. 

[nelly]

to love me unconditionallly - Helen

[deb]

Before I understood what was going on he was not very sympathetic when I told him I was unhappy - he just felt I was criticising him.  But when I realised what the problem was, he changed and has been very supportive since, and very understanding (with a few blips).  He is trying really hard, and it makes a big difference to me.

Deb

[Lynjane]

My husband never really understood and even though I've shown him some of the stuff on this forum, he still doesn't really.  I think its that old fashioned thing about not wanting to know how women's bits work   Still, what he does do, is most of the housework because he works mostly at home.  But more importantly, he earns enough that I only work 10 days a month, and when I moan about going to work, he just says...'Give it up then' and I know he means it.  So this week I've decided, I will retire at 58 which is a year this Christmas

Lynjane
 

[ElaineR]

As we have both grown older my husband has really tried much harded to understand how I feeling.  He wasn't so understanding when we were younger but now since having major anxiety problems etc he has been a real help..  He will ask me how I am and insist that I open up to him and will really try and help me.  I am very lucky as I know some partners are not so understanding.  From my experience it has come with time. Elaine.

[vonny]

Leave home, only joking it's not been the best thing he could have done for me but sadly it's true

[Jane]

 :scottie:My husband was and still is great, he'd (when I was at my worst) ring me up on his way home from work to ask if I'd been and done the weekly shop. I only had to say 'no I couldnt go out today' and he would take me shopping when he got home. He's always been very supportive through my menopause and I love him lots. 

[Linda54]

Just being my best friend and being supportive.