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[Mariab]

My husband is my rock!... he doesn't always understand what I'm going through as I think he's not sure what to do whwn I'm at my worst however, he is supportive, loving, generous and he has arranged several medical appointments privately to help me..and gets upset if he feel I've been let down by gp etc...
I couldn't be without him, I am very lucky...and imlove him very much

[Tracy t]

Wow ladies high 5 for your husband's now I know why I don't have mine anymore did bugger all but cause me aniexty struggled by myself and being called I ill crazy  among many other things well say no more and yet I think I've do extremely well I took time out wen I felt my moods and tryed my best to keep together but hay life's a journey of lessons I think ha ha 😂

[shel_g]

Hi

My husband is trying to understand what I’m going through, he doesn’t always understand how I can be fine one minute and then very anxious and worried another.  He didn’t want me to start on Sertraline but has been supportive after I decided to give it a try.

[Aubrey]

The best thing? Not having one. I can fart and sweat and fidget in bed without being observed by anyone. Lovely. 

[Ive_broken_it]

I dont know if this the correct place to post, if not, sorry and please remove or put in the correct section


Im really really trying and I dont know what to do, My missis is 51, she's always struggled with here monthlies, now they're 5 weeks apart, Ive always kept track of them for us both and as she's a real busy life schedule I will remind her to take with her whats needed just incase there's a real heavy one on its way

At the moment she's suffering with the night sweats, the lack of sleep, forgetfulness, anxiety, the anxiety has been so bad a couple of time Ive had to go rescue her for a situation she couldnt cope with, none of this is a problem as she knows Im there 24/7 if needed, all she has to do is call, Ill drop what Im doing and Im there quicky

The problem is at moment the uncontrollable rage towards me, one min she's OK, the next min she's exploded over something like I forgot to replace the source, I never shout back at her I always try and find out whats set it off and defuse what ever it is but recently this has made thing worse

Her friend who is in the medical perfection has hinted at HRT, I also a while back when with her to the gyno and she was going to get the coil fitted, as I read up on these and I thought it mightb help, it never happend as she didnt answer the phone when they called her for the appointment, that frustrated me a bit but as said I never will lose my sh1t with her

She called me a week or so ago said stuff that I know 100% is not true, I was floored,, I now dont know what to do, If I call Im bothering her, if I dont call Im neglecting her
I know with these changes that as happening she's going thru a real real tough time, I want to be there to help her thru but she's like shut the door on me

Help me ladies, what do I do ?

[abarthsister]

leave. It wasn't the right relationship for me.

[Garnet161]

When I started experiencing terrible VA 3 months ago, my husband of 17 years backed off asking for sex and trying to initiate it. He tried to be supportive by just putting aside his own physical needs - which is incredibly hard for him (he wants sex ALL the time).
The other day he told me that he feels 'cut off' and I told him in a way, he is - at the moment.  Until I can get the bladder and vaginal symptoms under control and pain free enough to consider sex again.  He has been very accepting and whilst I know he is struggling; he realises he has no choice right now but to be supportive and kind.

[DLM77]

I'm sorry if this comes off about me, but I assure you it isn't about me. I've been with my GF 15 years. She's 61 and I'm 47. In the beginning we knew eventually the age gap could be an issue but because she had a high sex drive and was in much better shape then most women I went for it. We always had a good relationship and rarely fought. We did everything together, gym, traveled, dates ect... her adult daughters were jealous of our relationship.

About 5 years ago she went through menopause and it was like someone hit a light switch. Sex went to almost nothing, it was painful for her. She didn't want kissing, touching oral anymore like she once did. She claimed foreplay didn't help and I caught her in lies many times in the last 5 years. While we do occasionally have sex and she oragasm about 75% of the time it's just never enough and the lack of intimacy has killed me inside.

In those 5 years I supported her in every way imaginable. I was there for her and listened, I made sure foods that were benicfical for menopause was in the house. I cooked for her, I read articles about menopause hoping to understand. I took notes for her when certain foods helped or didn't help. She'd wake me up in the middle of the night asking to turn the fan on or ran downstairs to turn the air on ect..I supported her when she had mood swings and I was yelled at for virtually no reason.

I woke up one day recently and realized that not once in the last 5 years did she support me, thank me or even hint at what I'd been going through. I communicated several times in those 5 years that my sexual needs weren't being met. I never pressured her for sex. In the beginning the lack of sex was difficult to except but it later became lack of intimacy that killed me inside. She didn't want to make love anymore, it was just get right to it. She complained penetration was extremely painful but when i suggested oral, she refuses to let me go down on her like i once did.No kissing, no wanting pleasure or giving pleasure. She doesn't sleep, she refuses to speak to a dr and I believe she may suffer from depression. She doesn't go to the gym like she once did either. I'm afraid she has given up.

When you give everything to your partner and they give nothing back, you only have one choose sadly. I'm at a crossroad.