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Author Topic: empty nest  (Read 55253 times)

Taz2

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #75 on: March 27, 2011, 05:54:39 PM »

I agree that we have become Uni and Degree-mad. If everyone goes to Uni who will serve us in shops etc. Who will drive the lorries to bring the goods to the stores. Who will empty our bins. Who will care for the elderly and infirm?

You are right Bette in that vocational training is very necessary. Also, it now depends on where you get your degree from. Employers are quick to dismiss degrees from the lesser (old polytechnic) uni's. My son recently had his hand shaken by a Job Seeker guy as he was "the first person this week with a proper degree from a proper Uni". He has a maths degree from Reading Uni which is among the top for that subject. Makes you think.  Of course we still need doctors and scientists but these should be separate and more funded than the lesser degrees which, to be honest, seem to exist purely for the students to have a good time and will in no way enable them to get a job when they graduate.

Off my soap box now!

Taz x
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Joyce

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #76 on: March 27, 2011, 05:55:22 PM »

I agree that whether Scottish, English, Irish or Welsh the system should be the same for all.  As for prescription charges, I can't help but think it's going to came back and bite us.  Then it will be a horrendous shock for those of us getting them for free from the end of the week.  Don't know how the Scottish government is managing to afford all these freebies.  I've now started a debate with hubby again after reading the "proposed" changes which Taz posted.  Time will tell I suppose, after the May elections.  However, he says English students definitely don't pay at Aberdeen at the moment.   :argue:  He's now asking what rubbish I'm reading.  Rubbish this forum.  How dare he!   ;D ;D ;D
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viv

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #77 on: March 27, 2011, 06:52:42 PM »

My sons university in Glasgow has offered him a computing science degree that is geared to the work place. He did want to go to Glasgow Uni who did the same course but after visiting both, and us attending the parents evenings/days we convinced him that Caledonian Uni was the one to go to because it was where employers came to, to look for graduates. It has been great for him. Glasgow is one of the most prestigious universities in Britain but it does not always prepare or offer courses that lead to employment.

My daughter wants to go to Glasgow School of Art, but I think she has to be realistic as they cherry pick the very best.

I do wish that she could get some kind of apprenticeship and not have to go to uni at all.

Honeyb
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Harrys-girl

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #78 on: March 28, 2011, 10:07:49 AM »

The whole university debate really annoys me. My SIL was harping on the other day that they could not afford to send my nephew to university! However she has never worked, yet she expects it all for free! My parents could not afford to send me to uni but they saved for years and I worked 3 damn jobs when I was there.

The problem is too many kids are taking too many 'soft' degrees. I totally agree we need doctors, engineers, lawyers, scientists etc and people who take these academic degrees should have their tuition fees paid, however the ones who take the soft option such as drama, media studies, women studies etc should not have full funding. When I first qualified having a degree meant you had excelled in your specialised field, and unfortunately allowing ‘anyone' to go to university has ‘dumbed' that down.

« Last Edit: March 28, 2011, 10:20:52 AM by Harrys-girl »
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Bette

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #79 on: March 28, 2011, 10:20:01 AM »

The thing that worries me is that they've messed around with GCSEs and A-levels so much that they don't really prepare kids for or reflect what degree courses in those subjuects are like. It means the staff often have to do "remedial" work in the 1st year to bring them up to where they used to be after A-levels and there are more students dropping out because they no longer like the subject as much as they did at school. That doesn't benefit anyone.
Bette x
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Joyce

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #80 on: March 28, 2011, 01:30:24 PM »

Hubby was clever enough to go to Uni when he left school, but his folks refused to part with any of their cash to let him.  So it wasn't until he was in his late 30's that he got a funded place to study his first law degree.  After 3 degrees he is now a PHD in law.  Our daughter chose Uni and law which she graduated in then went back and did a Nursing degree.  She said she just couldn't see herself being able to hold down a job as a lawyer & defending folk, her phrase was "I ain't no Ally McBeal".  She could now probably, if she wants, combine the two degrees and do something within the NHS.  Our son, struggled at school, although that turned out to because of his health. He went to college instead of uni  & now holds down a good job in a marine engineering company.  He did mechanics at college, but now is draughtsman.
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Lucky Stone

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #81 on: March 28, 2011, 06:27:44 PM »

For what it's worth, I just think we need to show youngsters that we are intererested in their future. I do agree that degrees are not for everyone, great for those who want 'academic' futures but we need good apprenticeships too. I changed schools as the country went comprehensive and lost my chance of a grammar place as a result .. bring back the old system of grammar education and technical schools, I say. This does not need to be second class education for those not getting the academic places, we need to show that we are committed to eveeryone's future be they doctors, dustmen or whatever. And get rid of the 'rubbish' subjects like studying soap operas. That's me off my soapbox now as well. :)
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viv

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #82 on: March 28, 2011, 07:01:15 PM »

Living in Scotland my son has had free tuition for his degree. He is now in his fourth year and his finals for his honours degree is just weeks away. We dont have that much money and I could not afford for him to live away from home and luckily we live an hour away from Glasgow so up until last Nov he has traveled and stayed at home.
He has worked since he was 16 and at some points had three jobs at the one time. He has not expected a free ride or to be totally supported by us. He has worked bl**dy hard. He is on a degree course that is geared to the work place. Its a Computing Science degree and he has also sat all his SISCO exams which we have had to pay for. It makes him more employable.
He is one of the very lucky ones and he has a job when he graduates. He is working (hard) for the company part time at the moment. Its only a small company, but at least he has a web design job.
He is the most hard working young man I know. Please don't tar them all with the same brush. Some go to uni with the end job in mind. My son has always wanted a Ferrari before he is thirty and this has been the way to get it  ;D
Although I think its more likely to be a mini  ::)

My 16yr old daughter is not really sure what she wants to go, but tells me she knows people who "just want to go to uni". She is not one of those, she wants to do a course that is going to make her employable.

So for every student looking for a free ride there are more who are looking to the future. They are the ones we should support.

Ok I am off my soap box now too  ;)

Honeyb
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Joyce

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #83 on: March 28, 2011, 07:15:53 PM »

Well done for your son Honeybun!!!  A lot of jobs are very much computer based these days.  One of my son's friends did a similar degree up here & now has a good job in England.
Academia is not for everyone.  Me included there.  I was average at school. At the end of my 5th year my mum thought it would be best if I left school and got myself a job.  I went along with it.  Got the job and started earning money.  It was in insurance.  I was fine with it at the time.  But occasionally thought that maybe if I had gone & done a 6th year, I might have gone in a different direction.  My chosen subjects restricted me somewhat, my mum saying that things like typing & doing accounts was the way to go.  So what did careers advice say, the only thing you'll ever be able to do is typing!!!  End of careers interview.  This is why I eventually got myself a training as a nursery nurse.  Somewhat late in life, but I did eventually get a qualification.
Our daughter had three jobs at one time whilst studying too, especially when she moved out & in with her now partner.  It was hard, never expected handouts from us.  Only occasionally if she needed a book, she got a loan from us but always paid it back.
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viv

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #84 on: March 28, 2011, 07:35:35 PM »

I ended up in Catering College. I really dont think that girls were encouraged into an academic life when I was young. Emancipation was there, but not quite there enough  ::)

My mother wanted me to do something practical and there was the expectation that you would get married so why bother having a proper career.

Gosh how things have changed...

Oh and I hated catering and ended up selling houses for Wimpey   ::)

Honeyb
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Joyce

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #85 on: March 29, 2011, 10:19:15 AM »

You're right there Honeybun.  My mum's original choice of job for me was a stenographer!  I think it was because she ended up in a sewing factory when she left school, then in the land army down at Croftamie.  After the war she married & had my brother.  She wanted something better for me.  My problem was I really had no real idea of what I wanted to do.  Nursing was something I'd fancied, but I was told that my choice of subjects didn't fit the criteria.  Someone should have told me when I chose my subjects at the end of 2nd year not at the end of 5th year.  Nowadays, you can get into nursing more easily.  But it is such a stressful job these days. 
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Lucky Stone

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #86 on: March 29, 2011, 12:55:17 PM »

I wanted to be a journalist but the careers advice at our dump of a school was useless. They told one of my male friends that a lighthouse keeper was the right job for him (!) ... recommended I should be a roadie for a band. No, I am not making this up. I didn't know that journalists could work on magazines and do features instead of hard news (which I would have hated) so I chose not to go to the training college and went into the Civil Service instead. 23 years of boredom followed although I made some good friends and have an index linked pension to look forward to. But hey, no point in regrets, I now have a part time job I like and am making things for my small craft business.
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Eddie

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #87 on: March 29, 2011, 01:01:01 PM »

I also did the Civil service thing for a few years at 18, hated it, soul destroying, went back a few years back for a few years and found it much better, obviously older.
Eddie. x
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Firewalker50

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #88 on: March 29, 2011, 02:42:14 PM »

Hi.  I am kind of linking the first post with the more recent posts.  My daughter is 24 and about to leave home.  We have always been very close, and from age 12 when her Dad left unexpectedly, we have become much closer.  She is a very lovely, kind, gentle, sensitive, funny and independent person.  She is just as comfortable french polishing nails, having a spa day with me, and having girlie nights as she is rally driving, driving supercars, changing a wheel and taking off a radiator in her car.

She intended to go to University to do primary teaching and then through a series of problems with a teacher at High School she felt she could not cope with University and decided to do an HND in Beauty Therapy (it gave me a whole new view, understanding and respect for Beauty Therapists).   Unfortunately, she is sensitive to petroleum (which we did not realise when she was training - it was diagnosed later) and that made a career in that field unsuitable.

She was working part-time in Tesco, so she switched it to full-time on the management training scheme for about one and a half years.  The stress they work under is immense and this ultimately led to her weight dropping to 6.5 stones, her beautiful long hair starting to falling out, she had constant infections and illnesses and she was exhausted.   I (actually both of us) were extremely worried about her.  I insisted she stop working for a few months to try to recover her health and consider her long term future.   Through a very gifted vibrational healer (ex rheumatologist consultant actually), her infections all cleared, she was told about the petroleum sensitivity and she improved. After 3 months rest, she took a job as a Nursery Assistant/early education - she absolutely adores her work.

Now - almost 3 years on, she is happy, vibrant, fulfilled, extremely hard working, and about to leave home!
She and her boyfriend are expecting a baby (she is 4 months) and they have bought a house.
When I got over the shock of the news of the baby I was delighted for them.

She works full time, studies for her qualificications at evening class and at home; she undertook a five week course at weekends in order to learn how to set up and operate childminding facility at home; and she has just embarked on a 10 week evening class for first aid.   She talked about going back to University longer term to do child psychology or teaching children with special needs.

Lisa has certainly had her education in the University of Life so far and, although difficult, that has suited her.  She will be successful at whatever she is focussed on doing.

At Christmas, she gave me a beautiful scrap photobook 'Just the Two of Us' and in one page she has written  "I feel I can cope with anything my life throws at me - thank you so much for all you have done for me and all you have shown me".

So, just when I was getting my brain into gear that she was leaving home, moving in with her boyfriend (not such a surprise after 2.5 years) and having a baby ............. she announces that they may be moving to Kuwait for a few years when the baby is one year!

So, my daughter and new grandchild (and son in law) will all move away all in a short space of time.

Despite my great sadness at this, I keep reminding myself that children are only ours for a time - to cherish, nurture and prepare to fly the nest as confident adults, unafraid to venture forth and experience all life has to offer.  And, I am both pleased and proud she will do this and always feels I will give unbiased advice and accept her decisions without making her feel she is letting me down or I am upset by it - even though I may be.

Empty nest?   The silence from her absence will be deafening:'(.   

So, to all the Mum's out there feeling the empty nest syndrome - "I hear you".

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Harrys-girl

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Re: empty nest
« Reply #89 on: March 29, 2011, 07:05:40 PM »

Oh, this is too long for ME, I will have to come back and read it in sections  :(

Wow, must take you days to read a paper ::)

Firewalker - I thought it was a sweet post.
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