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[Suzi Q]

My son went to UNI at 17 OK so I cant spell Dyslexia doesnt mean Im thik hehehe
He lived at home he went to Qld Uni which is 30mins away 3 years
He left Uni couldnt get a job 1994 bad time so he went back did another degree he did it in 2 years an acelerated BB
He then got a job all the time he was at home
He met a girl moved in with her we decided to get rid of the big Qlder house downsize the day we sold it they broke up
He came home moved with us and stayed till he was 27 it was out of utter desperation from Bobbles that he moved out
Over 5 months we bought furniture bedding everythiing you could want Bobbles went out got him a 2 bed flat lovely garden etc
Paid bond paid 4 weeks rent in advance and told him right get in the car we have something to show you
He was Ok about it as long as he came home every Sunday Mum did his shopping (paid for it too) and washing
Ok food maybe Mum shouldnt have but it was Mums money Mum (me) was working full time what I chose to do with it OK!
He didnt earn much enough for  rent and basics he couldnt rent out a room Bobbles didnt check no subletting so hed have starved
I missed him dreadfully I still do everyday he rings me every day he texts me and hes married now nearly 3 years ago
He comes over every other Sunday and the 4 of us go out every 4 or 5 weeks we are very close to son and his wifes lovely
But shes her parents child and we have never become any more than best boys Mum our relationship is the same as before they married which is a bit sad I think Im closer to some of her pals but she loves and adores him and in the end thats whats important
Still to me hes always the little boy who said Im going to build you a shed in the garden Mummy you will always live with me
I think the world of her but I dont think we will ever be close when they have kids her Mum will get to see them everyday
Ill be lucky once a month as my son doesnt drive either even when I was ill they never said would you like us to come over
Son said if I needed him hed get the train but no offer from dinlaw to drive himnot that she doesnt care its that Im just sons Mum
Yet he goes to all her familys doos sees her rellies we never get asked but this is Ozz they have a diff culture
So every body has a diff side to kids and leaving home now we have an even smaller home by the sea 30mins from where they live

[CLKD]

Bump

[palmagirl]

I think its remarkable what everyone feels about their children or step children leaving home. I have read through every thread on this subject and I could cry for the pain that women feel. Yes ok men can feel it too - but its not the same degree of hurt.
We have 3 of our kids still at home, and we are newly retired so its very tense. I think they would all move out if they had the money to do so but as it is they are all on minimum wage - and the youngest is a student - so no chance. The days are filled with getting them to the train / shopping/ collecting older son from station/ looking after his  3 -year-old son etc etc Its very hard because I dread the day that they will say they are moving out. The older one has a girlfriend and seems settled so when/if it happens I will be pleased. My middle daughter shows NO signs of  moving on whatsoever! The youngest is 19 and plans to be a rock star....................
When my older daughter went to uni 10 years ago (100 miles away) my heart was broken because I knew things would never be the same -- but here's the truth: she is back. She has her own flat, is engaged, has a better job than I could ever dream of -and phones every few days. We meet for coffee or chat on th phone for ages - or for a few mins depending on her time. Its great because she is my daughter again.

I think the hardest part of being a mother is the letting go while you're coping with the menopause. I know can cry for Scotland! And I still have 3 kids who will leave home - and I will worry and fret about them until they are 43. Its all part of being a mum.
Weep weep wail wail
PG

[Oldteen]

My 18 and 22 year old are both working and still at home. Neither earn enough to move out, and my son (22) appears to have made up his mind that he never will.

I wish they would, as I still feel responsible for them while they're at home, and I want a life with my husband back, who spends far more time with Son than he does with me.

I lived at home until I married at 27 and my mum virtually went into mourning.  I'd had no social life until I met my husband, and when I started going out with him when I was 25 she was very jealous, and said I was using their house as a hotel, which I think was most unfair of her, considering that I'd always spent all my spare time with them. I wish now that I'd moved out much earlier. I earned enough to rent a flat, but was too afraid of the big wide world.

So, I'm determined not to be like my mum! I want to push my chicks out of the nest and force them to fly, but no luck so far.

[viv]

Well done to your daughter Sweet. Glasgow Uni is a wonderful university who takes only the best of the best.
It must be a worry regarding the fees though. Its just so terribly expensive, especially for a law degree. A friend of mine has a son at Glasgow uni doing medicine and they are having to re-mortgage the house to help him.
The best of these courses cost a fortune, but with medicine at least they don't have to buy themselves an apprenticeship.

I hope you have very deep pockets 

Honeyb
x

[Taz2]

Is it free to everyone?

Taz x

[Taz2]

Do you mean it is free to go to Glasgow and get a degree? Three years of residency plus all the tuition fees and everything? I only ask as my son is looking to go to uni even though he is now 22 and has been put off by the costs involved. What degree is your daughter studying? Maybe that's the reason.

[Oldteen]

Is there something wrong with me? I can't wait for my children to leave home so myself and hubby can have some privacy and time together, and I like the idea of their coming to visit us!

[Oldteen]

I'm tempted to change my name so that I'm officially "Batty".....

[viv]

Sweet, if your daughter is English then why does she qualify for free tuition at Glasgow Uni. Its only free to Scottish kids and everyone else has to pay.
I know you said you are from Glasgow but now resident in England.

Its mighty expensive to do a law course and I dont think you would be able to cover it in loans as they dont pay out a lump sum but a monthly amount.

How does this work for your daughter.

Honeyb
 

[Joyce]

I just hubby this very same question as he teaches Law at Aberdeen.  He says that tuition fees are free to all EU students.  Only International students pay £9000 a year.
The Law books are extremely expensive as most are revised every year, due to changes in the law, so can't be bought second hand.
We had to pay fees for our daughter's first degree, before they started the free tuition.  It was in Law.  Her dad had not long finished his first law degree & we had to buy the books all over again!

[viv]

I really thought it was only free for Scottish students. I was sure I had heard/read that they were clamping down on applications from other students as they wanted to make sure there was not an influx of English students taking all the places to save money.
Must have got it wrong (no change there) 

Honeyb
x

[Lucky Stone]

Sweet4, in Wales prescriptions are free and will also be free in Scotland from 1 April. It's the regional governments. Nicola Sturgeon reckons Scotland can be free due to 'savings made in the NHS here'. Who knows? I'm sort of with you, that it should all the the same, but I suppose times have changed.

I don't have kids and so haven't the empty nest thingy; I wonder also if those that do come from multi-child families themselves? I am an 'only' and have always liked my own space and doing stuff alone, in fact I don't even like having visitors much. I would also say 'get a pet' but I guess it's not the same as a child full house, is it? How hard it is to move from one stage of life to the next one. Anyway, why I posted is to say that - despite having no kids of my own - I do worry that the govenment of 'our generation' are not investing the next with any hope. How depressing to face £27k of debt on leaving uni and it's no answer to say that you can pay it back over a lifetime, what, also trying to save for a house deposit, getting married, having a family which are all things our govt also want youngsters to do (oh, and saving for a pension now as well)!  I just think that's like trying to climb Everest with a boulder on your back. Whilst accepting our financial black hole, we HAVE to find ways of making it easier for those coming next or what will they have to look forward to? And that's from me, no kids and didn't go to uni myself, never wanted to. 

[Taz2]

Read all about the "proposed" changes here http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/dec/16/english-students-tuition-fees-scottish-universities 

Taz x

[Bette]

Mind you, I also think that this obsession with encouraging everyone to go to university is wrong. Vocational training would be much better for some youngsters.
Bette x