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[Eddie]

Yes Firewalker, they are both much stronger now, thanks, i don't think we realise where "home" is until we have nothing. I've been there myself before my dad died and really appreciated having a retreat. Sorry you don't feel the same way, my girls have two half sisters and they all have stopped all contact with the father. If it's not to be you have to be brave and let it go. Eddie. x

[Joyce]

Firewalker, you & your daughter sound as though you have an extremely close relationship!  Glad she is now happy in her life.  It will be wonderful when your grandchild arrives, but sad that you know they will be moving away.  Skype is brilliant for keeping up to date with those you love.  My daughter moved to Notts last year with her partner & our granddaughter.  We keep in touch using Skype a lot it's great to be able to see them and we don't feel so far apart as a result. 

[Firewalker50]

Cubagirl - I think this must just be the reason to get Skype.  We have a very low broadband speed because of our location so I have tended to avoid it - however, this may well be the reason to try it again!  Thanks for the reminder.

Hi Eddie.  I am so pleased you had a retreat at that sad time.  I am okay with my situation now thanks and when I reflect, I realise my very close friends are my 'home' when I need them to be.  Taz's son went home to his Mum too.   Do you think Home is the house you were brought up in, or the safety and comfort of the parent(s) there?

I think it is really sad when families become distant like your situation - although sometimes in some circumstances it can be for the best.  I am just so pleased I am close to my daughter and she is also close to her Dad.   My partner and his wife divorced many years ago and she moved from Scotland to to Oxford.  He had temporary custody and fought to keep them but was not successful.  Although they are grown up now and he speaks to them every week or two, he has lost the closeness through time and distance.  Quite sad for everyone.

Anyway, it is Wednesday, I now stop for holiday for 2 days and it is my OH's 50th birthday tomorrow, with a house party on Saturday - so I am off to have a lovely few days.  Please please let the rain stay away!

Happy weekend everyone!

x

[Firewalker50]

Thanks Larky.   

[Trey]

Hi Firewalker 50, I would have given a million dollars and more to have had a mother like you.  I was my mother's 'mother' for years of mental issues and now we do not speak.  She's a classic narcissist.  So give yourself a well deserved pat on the back and no matter how far apart, love will always bridge the gap for you two.

[Firewalker50]

Hi Taylor

for you.  How very sad.  I can only begin to imagine what that must be like.  My friend's ex-husband is bipolar and narcissist.  I know how much it affected her.  How hard that must have been for you.   My sister's behaviour is slightly similar through illness but is not a classic case and she has a husband to care for her so it only affects me when I am with her.

It must be a dichotomy for you - to be a loving, caring daughter and not to speak with her because of the damage it does to you.  Well done for having the strength to recognise the problem and to break away - not easy in a parent/child relationship.

I don't know if you have children of your own.  If you do, perhaps you will have an extra special relationship with them from the insights you gained from dealing with your Mum.

I was blessed with a daughter who is easy to love and easy to support so it made my job as her Mum much easier 

Rx

[Trey]

Hi Firewalker and thanks.  Re: my kids, one would think one would learn and have a better situation, but what really happened was that I had a very difficult time parenting, partly because I had no natural model.  I tried too hard and was controlling out of a sort of fear.  One son very close; one not.  I'm grateful for having at least one good relationship.  Our 'empty nest' got less empty when his wife flew in, so this saying is not always true: "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life?"?

[viv]

My son has announced he is moving back home......not to live with me, but back to our home town,so rather than having him 40 miles away he will be very very near. I am delighted. I worried about him driving country roads in the winter and now he will be five minutes from his work place and me 

Him and his girlfriend are about to start looking for a new flat to rent. He asked me to have a look to see if there is anything nice in his price range and there are quite a few lovely places for him to view.

One happy mummy. 

Honeyb
x

[Firewalker50]

That's great news Honeybun     Best of both worlds - your own space and close enough to see each other easily!  Happy families.

Hi Taylor.  We are trained to do the smallest detail at work, yet we are not trained for the biggest job we can ever undertake, so we feel our way along, dealing with situations as they arise. I am glad you have a good relationship with one of your children at least and happy for you to know they are comfortable enough to live with you.  I hope you will build a bridge with your other son one day.  Sometimes they need to know that we understand how it was for them.   "Just remember - it is never too late to be the person you might have been".   Have you considered any form of counselling - to support you after all the support you gave your Mum.  We would be quick enough to put a broken leg in plaster to support it 

Enjoy the time with your family at home.

Rx

[Trey]

Whoops, gave wrong impression.  Nest is figuratively not empty, but is literally 2600 miles away.  Son lives on west coast of US.  What I meant was: dil is welcome addition to the nest, but the nest is far from our home.  Muddled mind, here.

[Firewalker50]

Hi Taylor.  Muddled mind here too  .  Hope you get to visit them as often as possible, and chat to them on Skype or similar as others have suggested I do when/if my daughter moves to Kuwait.

Rx

[CLKD]

Bump

[CLKD]

  for Horsylass and other new Members 

[honeybun]

Heck this is an old thread. Spotted one post about my son and so much has changed since then. Girlfriend gone and a new job and a flat.....back in Glasgow 

Daughter who moved out for her second year of uni moved back home for her third, now moving out again in Sept to either flat share with a pal or share with her brother.

So it's all change yet again.....more expense too 

I will really miss my girl but she will be 21 at the end of the year so it's inevitable really.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Mum keeps telling me that she gave her children wings to fly