Hi Everyone
I haven't posted for a while but this topic struck a special chord with me. I thought I had come to understand, master and almost live with the churning, yearning feelings of the so-called empty nest, but now that I face having to move out of the nest myself, all these feelings are coming back to haunt me. I'm having such an internal struggle coming to terms with the inevitability of moving house that I was awake last night for what seemed like hours tossing and turning and debating with myself so loudly at 3 in the morning, that I woke the cat who scratched and yowled at the bedroom door till I had to eventually get up and let him outside. I wasn't happy.
Anyway, in the space of 3 years my children have one by one flown the nest and I must admit that at times the feelings of loss have been excruciating. I'm sure most of you have experienced the yearnings that a fleeting glance at a photo can bring on! After my second son died my elder daughter moved out to go to uni in London, to be followed within a year by my elder son moving to Wales. Considering I live in the north east of Scotland, visits are expensive and few and far between and I don't see them very often. When she was little, in her childish way my youngest always used to say that she would 'never, ever, ever' leave me, that she would 'never, ever, ever' have a boyfriend or get married and would live with me and look after me for ever and ever. (Aw, ...........!)
However, she eventually moved out to go to uni too and that left me really bereft and sore. I'm not a clingy mum and hope I'm good at disguising how much I REALLY miss them as I don't want them to feel bogged down by guilt or obligation, but just to be happy and free to choose their own direction. I do admit though, to having each of their rooms permanently intact and on red alert to accommodate them at the drop of a hat even though I know their beds will probably remain unpopulated for 51 out of 52 weeks of the year! Anyway, financial reality has recently begun to bite me so hard that after a year of indecision I've decided to take the plunge and move out of my home into a smaller house. So you can imagine the huge practical and emotional upheaval looming ahead for me in the next few months as I downsize and sift through all our stuff and begin to work my way through the contents of the loft. My sister has managed to keep her family close by and I must admit to feeling very envious of her.
nightingale xx
feel so much better having shared that, somehow ...................