Jari, thank you for taking the time to explain on this thread your aversion to HRT. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience, which must have been very frightening, especially as you say you live alone. In common with many members, I've also had very unpleasant & at time frightening reactions to some elements of past HRT regimes, so it's testament to how unwell menopause can make us feel & how much that disrupts our lives, that we persevere with it. It's certainly not a choice for the faint hearted, but I think most of us research before taking that leap of faith & accept that the consequences can be good as well as bad, as is sadly the case with most forms of medication.
I sense you're angry too about the expense involved in private healthcare & I can well understand that, given what happened to you. We are very lucky to have the NHS & my own exposure to private healthcare in recent years (when the NHS has not been able to meet my needs) has shown me just how expensive are many of the procedures we take for granted on the NHS. It must have felt like adding insult to injury that each time you needed help with the serious consequences of trialling the HRT you had so needed to work well for you, there was another hefty bill to pay.
As I recently said to you on another thread, I think all views & histories are valid on this forum, as imo it's important to be as informed as possible & think very carefully about HRT before starting it, during use it & even afterwards, keeping an open mind, receptive to new research & others' experiences that may be relevant to our individual, possibly changing circumstances.
However, I also think it's important to be as sure of facts as we can before we post & to think about how what we want to say may affect others. We can't know for sure or in detail the mental state or circumstances of those reading the forum & every time I post on any topic that's not just light-hearted, the responsibility of it weighs heavily on my mind. There seems to me always the potential for unwittingly causing harm or distress & I don't think anyone posting here would want to do that.
I think your experience in managing your symptoms naturally is potentially very valuable to the forum, so if you can share that in a positive way I'm sure many members would find it both interesting & helpful. Successful coping strategies are so valuable at a time when many of us feel we have no control over the devastation menopause is wreaking on our lives, so I think you could do much good if you choose to help out in that way.
I hope you continue to be lucky enough & well enough to manage without HRT - the ideal scenario for many of us.