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[mags]

Hi Bev, and well done for getting to your daughters today, that's a huge step, and good luck with the mating.   I well remember the chocolate advent calendars, and now my little grandson has them, he loves chocolate and last year managed to find a box of chocolate biscuits under the Christmas tree and when mummy wasn't looking he opened them and guzzled at least half of them
It must be horrible having period pains on top of everything else, I used to get them before having children and they were like labour pains.
I will be good and try not to destroy your Christmas tree,     I always remember Christmas when my youngest was just walking and we had a kitten at the same time, we ended up having to tie up the tree to the curtain rail to stop them both pulling it over, I think we gave up in the end and took it
down      I didn't realize my eyes weren't open yet  how cute!   Hoping you feel better soon and maybe you can manage a glass of wine or brandy tooxx

[bev567901]

Afternoon Mags  How have things gone on at the GP's today ? xxxxxx

[mags]

Hi  Bev, my apt went very well thanks despite me being a nervous wreck beforehand- stupid really because he is such a nice dr,  he thinks that all the little things that I have been doing like getting my hair cut etc are a very positive sign   he also said how helpful the CBT will be and was telling me that he thinks it works better than anything,  he is obviously well informed about it and said he had  heard about patients who have recovered from  depression with the therapy  alone without medication.   
He is going to increase me to 150mgs in two weeks' time  as he thinks that will help with the hot flushes, he seemed to think that giving myself six weeks on the 100 was a good idea.  I was worried that he was going to tell me that I would have to change medications, but thankfully that wasn't the case.
My hubby came with me as he had a day off work and afterwards we went for a coffee and then did a bit of Christmas shopping     I think that just getting the reassurance from the Dr gave me a big lift!
Hoping you have had a better day and not been doing too much, how are the pups, especially DSB
Lots of Love Magsxx

[bev567901]

Wonderful Mags I am so pleased. I knew you would have a positive outcome from today & it sounds like it has given you a lift too re Christmas shopping etc.  Its funny as I am considering a sertraline increase too, need to discuss it with the doctor first though. If you come on leaps & bounds in the next 2 weeks will you stay on 100mg?  So CBT next & I think all in all you will have had a good week & feel better for it. You sound better if you know what I mean, very positive.
I have been a bit down after my blood results & trying to decide what to do hence more sertraline. Still thinking of getting hormones by myself though. Have ordered a meno test off Amazon last night that someone here recommended. My period is very imminent  I have been to my daughters 3 days running to do matings which have been all good. DSB is looking podgy & one of the boys has his eyes fully open today. Done on line Christmas shopping too & lots of cleaning    xx

[mags]

Hi Bev and thanks,  if I do improve a lot I may reconsider the increase, will see how it goes.
Sorry you have been feeling down,  you are bound to feel low with a period on it's way,   are you still considering the  Birth Control pills?  It's so hard to know what to do for the best isn't it, but I think the meno test is a good idea.
Am glad the pups are doing well and DSB IS thriving by the sounds of it
Well done too for doing the online Christmas shopping and the cleaning, hoping you feel better soon, Love Magsxx

[bev567901]

Its funny how we both have more faith in sertraline now, I would have been horrified to think of increasing a few weeks ago but much more confident with it. Did you have no side effects at all other than feeling low?
I would take anything atm to feel better ha, I am probably too scared to do it myself though. Its funny as my daughter is at the same point of the month & we have both been feeling irrational. Things prey on your mind at this time that you normally shrug off.
So here's to tomorrow, I am trying to get an early night Mummy Dog had me up at 2.30 am needing the bathroom, just need to get a naughty boy to go to sleep. It was 11pm last night grrrrrrr  xxxxxx

[mags]

 Hi Bev, I didn't seem to get any side effects other than the usual lack of appetite and lowness. The GP seemed to think that another increase wouldn't cause any problems because of that,  but I am rather nervous about starting it  before Christmas just in case
Sorry you aren't feeling too good, at least your daughter can sympathize with you , going through the same monthly thing. Do You get more anxious and low at 'that' time?  I can remember that when starting peri, and the symptoms would carry on throughtout my period rather than just before.
  It feels so horrible I know,  I am back to feeling low after yest when I thought it was all going so well   but I  know it is bound to be on and off.  Hope you got a better sleep last night, your little boy is probably too excited about Christmas to want to go to bed!   I am sure you will pick up as you have been doing so well and making a lot of progress, even if you may not think so yourself Love Magsxxx

[bev567901]

Mags I wouldn't worry about the side affects if you didn't get them when you started the drug. I would willingly go back to mine for a few weeks if I was told to increase. Must buy Immodium shares though first
You know I felt low yesterday but feel fine today so you might feel fine again tomorrow. The quality of light today is amazing for December, I wish I had time to do some painting or drawing....... or was on a lovely part of the Sandstone Trail looking down on the Cheshire Plain.   Instead I have been sorting out the bathroom properly with bleach & a toothbrush!! Things have been neglected recently
And yes I think the best way to describe peri other than it is like pregnancy is that every day of the month is like that 1 or 2 days just before a period. I think it sums it up perfectly. I expect proper meno will be different again with its own specific problems.
Lets hope this lovely afternoon light has inspired you to have a better afternoon than morning. I think daylight is very important to our overall wellbeing. Sometimes I go down  the garden & lie flat out on the kids trampoline watching the sky & if its spring or summer just looking at the trees.  I've not done it since I have felt poorly so think I might have to start up again. Get your sun lounger out & lie prostrate, mad lady alert!!! I don't care what anyone thinks anymore, I may be the 80 yr old with pink hair & a mini skirt if I can get through all this. xxxx 

[mags]

Hi Bev,  no I won't think too much about side effects.  I haven't felt great  really, despite the sunshine- my brother rang yest to say he is organising a family pre-Christmas meal, with quite a lot of in-laws etc, and I have had to tell him that the chances are I won't be able to go, so that has sent me down moodwise   I feel so hopeless when I can't do things because of this stupid anxiety and depression >:(I didn't know you did painting and drawing,  I do it for my job, working from home as an  artist/illustrator selling my designs to greetings card manufacturers, I do mostly fairies and fantasy
artwork, I haven't felt up to doing it for a long time though.     Lying  on the trampoline sounds like a lovely idea, I like to sit in the garden and just listen to the sound of the sighing of the breeze in the trees .  Some evenings this last summer we have sat in the garden until it went dark and watched all the bats flying around,   that was really amazing!  Talking of mad 80yr old women,(not meaning that you will be one of course) I once saw one in Tesco, not  with pink hair, but dressed in vivid pink clothes that were too young for her, and pushing a walking frame  absolutely covered in  pink fluffy keyrings and  fluffy toys and  she was covered in badges, I thought well she's obviously bonkers but good for her for being different xx

[bev567901]

Well Mags I now know why I felt brighter today, 'IT' happened about 4pm. Just goes to show you that we are not mad it is our hormones. Glad I have it all documented.
I had a phone call with my Mum today I had already told her that my eldest & boyfriend would visit with the youngest kids & I wouldn't be coming pre Christmas. She told me today she would be upset if I didn't come & to try but you know what I have been honest. She lives in Wales so its not local, its too much at the moment & if I do make it good but I don't think I can. Don't feel guilty I don't, its best to be honest & call before hand. We can make it up as soon as we are better & show our appreciation for their patience at a later date. I have got my Mum a really nice personal pressie as its her birthday at Christmas too, I know she would prefer me but I have put quite a bit of thought into it so hope she understands, she had a bad meno post hysterectomy so should understand. I think its best to tell the truth than not turn up at the last minute, if you had a bad virus they wouldn't want you there spreading your germs so think of it as you are not well but will be soon. This time next year I am sure we will both be very different people, me with pink hair you with purple
I forgot it was you that did the artwork, most of my best friends are creative people. My Dad was a graphic designer one of the first I guess pre the Apple Mac years. He was really good & has passed it down to all of us. My son & sister are particularly good. I do remember though when I was little wanting a normal dad that wore a suit & went to work in an office. He always had cravats & red shoes, he had a stroke though & ended up in a care home & died 3 yrs ago. One good thing came out of it though my eldest met her boyfriend at his funeral.  Do you not feel up to drawing at all.  Could you do your Grandson a special Christmas card? You have a really special talent & I am sure as soon as you feel better you will want to draw again. You won't be able to stop yourself!
So stop feeling guilty no pressure, New Year doesn't have to be a time to get better either. We will be better when we are. And you can go first on that hair dye! xx
 
   

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I've been following your posts and I just wanted to say that you have my sympathy and understanding. So much of what you say rings bells with me and these days I avoid noisy family gatherings if I'm feeling on edge an no-one seems to mind, they just carry on without me!

Best wishes to everyone who is struggling at the moment, this meno journey is a rocky road for sure.

K.

[JJ]

Mags and Bev, you both sound a bit better, even if you don't think you are. Xx

[mags]

Hi Bev and glad to hear that it has finally started,   and well done for being honest with your mum,  If She went through a bad time with meno herself you would expect her to understand, I think it's wrong of people to put pressure on us to do things when we aren't feeling up to  My brother was ok about things but I know my sister will be the one putting the pressure on me
We too are quite an artistic family, my sister is creative and musical and my eldest daughter coincidentally is doing a graphic design degree at the moment with the hope of getting a job when she qualifies,  she used to work in administration for the local county council but decided not to go back to it after her little boy was born as it would have meant a lot of travelling - the office had moved to Accrington which is quite a way from where she lives.  My youngest  daughter works with young adults with special needs and does a lot of art and music with them. My Youngest son hasn't inherited the trait but  my other son has and is too quite artistic.   
Hopefully by this time next year we will both be new women and raring to go- complete with pink or purple hair but no blue rinses ; ;Dxx

[mags]

Hi JJ and thanks for that, love Magsxx

[CLKD]

Many years ago I was really ill on C.mas afternoon with acute panic  - we were supposed to spend the evening with DH's family but I and he went back to the hotel.  Next morning *my* Mum nagged because "You spoiled it for everyone else " ..... well my attitude then; and now; is if 'they' can't enjoy themselves without my being there, that is their problem not mine 

I no longer expect anyone to 'understand' how I feel because, to be honest, others are usually thinking about themselves, rarely the sufferer.  So I tell people to get on with their plans and if I can join in, then appreciate me whilst I'm present