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[bev567901]

Mags don't feel mad. Its a funny thing no idea if its the Sertraline or the anxiety. I had a panic attack last time I washed my dressing gown ?? I had to take it out of the machine barely washed, spin & dry it as quickly as possible. Must be a comfort thing like your upstairs is a comfort to you.   What I have done today is do something horrible in it because I am a clean freak, I cut the dogs nails & cleaned their ears wearing it.  Its drying currently & I am still anxious but its had a full wash this time. I poured a brandy     I have a feeling it could be the sertraline as it is so unlike me to have such a funny thing like that in my head.  I wouldn't worry about it but just accept it for now & see what CBT have to say.  We all have good & bad days too where things are more achievable. I think going to CBT this week will give you a huge boost again. Don't worry about going backwards it might seem an enormous hill to climb at the moment but we just need to break it down one bit at a time, little tiny steps all the way. Big hugs Bev xxxx

[mags]

Hi Bev- maybe it has got something to do with the sertraline- and it probably is a comfort thing as well-with your dressing gown.  You did very well though to do the dog's nails etc when you felt panicky-that's another little step I would say- and the brandy was a good idea too.   I got downstairs twice before-once to put a wash in and the second time for a wander round- didn't feel much better though- all this crying is getting me down too-do you cry a lot and feel really flat and low?  As you said we have days when we can't do things and just have to accept that.  Am hoping the CBT will help- and thanks  for your post-Love Mags

[Dyan]

Hi mags
It is good that you are crying.
It took me a while to cry especially when I had that numb feeling.
I'm feeling good today The best day so far.
Sent you a pm x

Hi Bev
I'm having a good day today.
Yesterday was not so good but this morning I was feeling brighter so I hope it continues.
Thank you for your concern.x

[bev567901]

There you go then you have been downstairs twice already today!    I haven't cried since the day I started sertraline & I used to cry at everything.  It wasn't like me to cry like that. Maybe after having a baby & seeing something sad on tv or maybe once a month so crying to me is hormonal.  I find my journal is helping as yesterday & today haven't been as good & I have looked today to see how it relates to my last period & it is the same. Bev x

[mags]

Thanks Bev- it does sound as though your anxiety is period related- hoping you have a better afternoon and evening-Love Magsx

[Dyan]

How has your day been mags?

[bev567901]

Hi Dyan, Glad you are having a good day today after a few rough ones. You just can't predict can you. It gives other people hope though if they hear of good days & also empathy for those having bad days.
Today has been the worst for a good few weeks. I felt very sick at 4am but was ok by proper morning. Did chores in the morning but knew anxiety was creeping in, by 3pm I was very sickly again & upset tummy. Think it is hormone related. Taken far too much diazepam but have had similar days before just didn't want to go so backwards again. It's been a while since I have had to knit but its keeping my mind & hands busy whilst reading

[mags]

Hi Bev and so sorry to hear you have had a bad day-feeling sick is awful and doesn't help the anxiety either. It's so disappointing when you think you are improving-then wham. Ups and downs  are normal I think at this stage and , as you said to me, don't worry about going backwards-we will get there-Lots of Love to you-MAGSXX

[CLKD]

Feeling very sick in the early hours is probably because the body is hungry.  Having RichT biscuits beside the bed or a milky drink can help.  Mid-afternoon slump is also common .......... I used to get really sicky driving home from work, made worse by not having anywhere to pull the car over for 7 miles  ............  bananas can help as they are slow release though I find those difficult to eat in the early hours.

[Dyan]

Bev- sorry you've not had such a good day.
CLKD  always has wise words and keeping biscuits beside the bed to nibble on is good.
This will keep your sugar levels up.
If I wake in the night for that trip to the bathroom I'm often hungry and just that little something wards off any sicky feeling.

[bev567901]

Thanks all, I did eat regularly yesterday but had supper really late I felt so sick. Felt better for it. Its the tired legs & headaches, stomach aches that have been so bad all week all normal period symptoms but just for a day or so normally. Its like all your normal period symptoms pre/post & during are magnified.
Just trying to get all the stuff done asap like ironing kids clothes for tomorrow & need to get some stuff out of the attic for Beeny's impending birth, mop floors, empty bins & everything else is a bonus. I feel 100 today.   

[mags]

Hi Bev-glad you managed to eat something and felt better for it. Period symptoms are horrible when they last for so long- When I started peri  I used to feel sick in the mornings  during a period and had never had it before- I also got the anxiety all the way through a period too which again I didn't used to get.   Just a funny story - when I skipped my first period  in meno and was feeling sick  I honestly thought that I might be pregnant so bought a testing kit- and thankfully I wasn't- but I left the box in the dressing table drawer  and my daughter who was 12 at the time found it- so I had a lot of explaining to  do  ; Hoping that you feel better-is there anything at all that helps with the tiredness and stomach ache?  Love Magsx

[Dyan]

Mags & Bez for you both.

[bev567901]

Mags I had to have one at the GP's she insisted as I said I feel pregnant with quads all the time. My husband had the snip 8 yrs ago too!  I really didn't want to go into the dreaded germy GP toilet either & trying to wee in the pot I did a little wee on my trousers. We will laugh one day about all this I hope. Should write a book. We can all put little things in it.  How are you today anyway?    I am just trying to keep busy. Thanks to my journal I know I will feel better very soon, just got to get over this hormonal hump. I am so glad I wrote it now. You have CBT to get dressed for tomorrow. I am certain you will feel better for it & I hope to learn from it too, top tips appreciated ha ha. What day is your birthday? My daughters is Sunday she is 25.xx

Thanks for the hug Dyan one straight back at you too. xxx

[mags]

Hi Bev- hopefully we can look back at the funny moments one day and laugh about them, My hubby is always telling me that I should write a book about menopause as he thinks I know more about it than the experts as I have done so much research on it and tried so many different treatments and seen so many different drs etc.
Am not feeling great really-it's the not wanting to get up thing which is worrying me- I know I did it at the weekend  but any positives just go out  of the window when I get low again. I felt fairly relaxed last night but still woke up anxious-I have been taking a diazepam every morning but although it takes the edge off, it doesn't get rid of the lowness-anyway I will tell all this to the counsellor tomorrow.  My birthday is next Tues 19th so very close to your daughter's-it's really odd but all my children's birthdays have a 2 in them- My eldest daughter and son are the 22nd and 2nd August and the two youngest are  the12th july and 12th October, and even more weird- both the girls were born on a Friday aft and the boys were both on  a Tues morning!  Hoping you have a better day- Love Mags