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Author Topic: For all of us looking after elderly relatives  (Read 365281 times)

CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #120 on: September 22, 2012, 06:52:18 PM »
He has had 5 scans and 2 MRIs so far.  Symptomatically he has a disease but it hasn't been found ......... often cancers don't show up until post mortem.  They live 2 hours drive away so can't do much ........... maybe 'draining of Life's blood' is a Jewish saying  :-\ ........... he was getting older and more frail but now is determined but his body won't follow.
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Trey

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #121 on: September 22, 2012, 08:29:48 PM »
CLKD, can you order something they like to eat, special treat or nice cards or offer a half day of help so your mum could get away?  Don't know how ill so hope these suggestions not inappropriate.

You are too thoughtful so I know you have not blown a chance to help in your own way. 

Sorry
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #122 on: September 23, 2012, 10:53:32 AM »
Mum has a fridge and freezer stocked with food stuffs and her friend is nil by mouth at present, as the pain relief upset his gut.  Pain relief is by patches only until tomorrow.  She will ring at 9.15 a.m. as usual - her parting words were "I don't want to ring until Monday unless anything drastic happens" but I know she'll be on the 'phone to local 'friends' for hours about it all.  Another sign of control  >:(.  Hey ho, what I don't know ...........

I need to clear our house in case she wants to stay after this is all over.  So busy sorting C.mas/birthday gifts which are stored in the spare room, searching for wrapping paper and cards .......... they can go into the loft until required, out of sight out of mind.  In case ..........
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limpy

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #123 on: September 23, 2012, 01:54:58 PM »
CLKD - would it help to contact any of her friends? They may have some ideas about what she wants, and what might help.
Also, look after yourself, don't get exhausted  clearing your house. Though, I imagine your house is far tidier than mine.
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #124 on: September 23, 2012, 01:58:45 PM »
Tidy - moi  ;D - we go to auctions, sales, are selling 'stuff' .........

Her friends are in touch daily and too far away for me to 'interfere'.  Whilst she wishes to remain independant ..... she will be adrift once he has died and the funeral is over  ::)
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flushtered

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #125 on: September 23, 2012, 05:27:13 PM »
Your mum will need you after it's all over if not just now and you'll be there for her then - not a lot you can do at the moment.  You take care, could be a busy time ahead.
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #126 on: September 23, 2012, 09:08:09 PM »
Yep Flushtered - think that's how the next few weeks will be  ::)
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honeybun

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #127 on: September 23, 2012, 09:20:07 PM »
Sorry to read this CLKD.

Can your sister help if she is closer to them than you are?

Take care.

Honeyb
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #128 on: September 24, 2012, 03:51:15 PM »
My sister is MILES away ........... patient is still nil by mouth  >:( .......... GP and Nurse going in 1/2 a day.
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honeybun

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #129 on: September 24, 2012, 05:59:03 PM »
Has your mum got the hospice nurses going in yet or is it too soon. They are angels and can help with so many things.

If he is still not allowed to eat how is he getting any nourishment. That will be needed to stop him going down hill even faster.

Honeyb
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Taz2

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #130 on: September 24, 2012, 06:12:43 PM »
Did you know he was ill CLKD or did your mum want to shield you from it?  I agree with honeyb that the sooner you get the hospice involved the better. Nil by mouth seems very harsh if he is being nursed at home. It seems such a shame that he seems to have been given up on re diagnosis.

Taz x
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #131 on: September 24, 2012, 06:41:59 PM »
He's been 'ill' for years but well in himself.  This is something different and sometimes diagnosis can only be made after death.  No hospice care in the area but the GP/Nurse seem to be doing their best. 
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Trey

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #132 on: September 24, 2012, 07:15:59 PM »
I have sent you a note.
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CLKD

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #133 on: September 25, 2012, 08:33:08 AM »
Got it  :thankyou:

Mum's friend had relatives visit on Sunday which helped them through the day.  GP and Nurse went in twice ysterday.  They have another set of visitors booked for tomorrow  ::) ........... he is lucid and even shares dry humour at times.  It's the worry about constant pain which gets him down the most.  I know how that feels  :-\

He wasn't keen on having a hospital bed downstairs and it would mean a mountain of moving furniture for Mum but at least it has been offered.  As quickly as being delivered today  :o - I suggested they get it in so that they can use it if necessary ..........  :-X
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honeybun

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Re: For all of us looking after elderly relatives
« Reply #134 on: September 25, 2012, 01:05:08 PM »
How about Macmillan or Marie Curie nurses then CLKD.

How do they know it is terminal if they cant say what it is......bit confusing really.

I hope you are feeling better CLKD....anything like that in a family is very stressful.

Honeyb
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