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[Trey]

HB et al, It is very easy to know when someone is terminal, not the exact time of course.  Rapid weight loss is the most astoundingly obvious sign.  Reduced appetite and thirst another definite sign.  There is a distinct pattern.  Just like Don's brain tumor, we didn't know exactly what ended his life as the brain controls everything, but the other signs were indicators of almost how many days were left.  Irregular breathing it probably always the latest sign, but it can go on for days.  The weight loss is horrific and it doesn't matter how much one eats, called cachexia, controlled by a brain hormone called leptin. 

[CLKD]

Thanks Trey.  He has accepted the end is nigh but fears being in pain which is uncontrolled.

MacMillan have been in and the District Matron calls daily.  I can't do any more from where I'm sitting, would be in the way right now 

[honeybun]

Thanks for the explanation Trey...... much clearer now.


Can the MacMillan nurses not take over the pain relief CLKD. I know when a relative of mine was terminally ill with Mesothelioma it was down to the nurses and their 24/7 care that kept him comfortable and at home.


Sorry you are not able to be with your mum at this time.

Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

I'm not sorry a bit, she sent us away on Friday morning .......... we would soon have been under each other's feet!  long story short 

[limpy]

My MIL had terminal bone cancer, she was in a massive amount of pain.

The Macmillan nurses were brilliant, they got the pain relief sorted out quickly.

They were very good with the family as well  If you were able to contact them they may be able to give you more information about what's going on

[CLKD]

I don't think they would pass on private information even if I knew where to ask.  We live 2 hours drive away and Mum is in total control.  Not my farm ............ I don't even know whether I will be involved with any funeral arrangements as the man friend has a large family of his own 

[honeybun]

I would like to thank the ladies who replied to my posts regarding my mother which just happened in a "conversation" on the What did you do today" topic.

CLKD very kindly offered to move the two or three posts to this thread as she perhaps felt it would be more appropriate ......which I declined as it would be very disjointed.

I would just like to say I did appreciate the input I had and it has given me a lot to think about.


Honeyb
x

[flushtered]

Honeyb, I've sent you pm.

[honeybun]

Thanks flushtered

It was very much appreciated.

Honeyb
x

[flushtered]

 

[CLKD]

Well the man friend died so Mum is already saying she feels more lost than when Dad died  ....... different time, different relationship.  At least his brother is there sorting out and she seems to have lots of support from the NHS this time, maybe she refused it when Dad was ill but didn't tell us    .......... Hospital bed, carers/Nurses/GP in and out several times each day in the alst 2 weeks ............ onwards and upwards!

[honeybun]

Sorry to hear this CLKD. Guess you are off to a funeral. Your mum must be feeling very alone.....not nice at any age or whether its a first or second marriage.

Condolences to you both

Honeyb
x

[flushtered]

Condolences from me too.

[limpy]

CLKD sorry to hear about your mum's man friend, hope she is ok. Will you go to see her now, or wait for a bit?

[CLKD]

Wait a bit.  We have a holiday booked and she has told us to go as there can't be a service for 2-3 weeks - crem is fully booked  .  His brother is there helping make any arrangements and she has a good circle of friends plus the Church which I expect she will go back to.  They weren't married but argued  .... both fiesty and I think the arguments 'kept them going'  .  We wonder how long before she picks up the next waif and stray from the gutter  - she needs to be 'doing'.

Once we are back from our holiday we have several professional appts including hospital and dental which we can't alter so it's handy that the crem is fully booked ............

It would seem that carers went in several times a day, he had a hospital bed in her main room upstairs  , morphine was on a drip as necessary and the GP and Nurse came in twice daily.  Fortunately she didn't have to lift too much and his brother was there at the end.  I expect she will be lost and adrift for a while