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December 2025.

Dr Ben writes a new Blog at the start of every month for our Man Shed section.

Christmas Overwhelm – Turkey? Trimmings? What can I take off your plate?

The festive season is when we’re all supposed to find joy and relaxation. But forsome women going through hormonal changes, it can feel very different.

During perimenopause and menopause, burnout is often a problem, and it’s particularly easy to get overwhelmed at intense times of the year like Christmas.

Many of us may be dreading having to battle supermarket crowds. Even thinking about it stresses you out. You don’t want to ‘go there’ – literally.

The creativity in you, finding original presents for your partner and family, can start to drain out of you – replaced by anxiety about intense commercial pressures. Add work stresses as December disappears, together with time running out to complete tasks before the holidays - and it can be overwhelming.

Pottering around in my Man Shed, I would make a list of tasks, then carry them out myself. But at work (at the ‘day job’), now’s the time to start delegating some tasks to others, if you can. This will free up more brain-space for family time.

‘Be there and be present for your partner’

For both men and women, being present is the hardest thing to do when you're overwhelmed. But if you create a better headspace, allowing you to ‘be there and be present’ for your family, pressures will ease.

If your partner’s struggling with burnout, the indicators won’t always be apparent to the naked eye. Watch for small changes and be ready to provide her with extra practical and emotional support.

For example, they might be experiencing a lack of resilience in the face of pressure to make decisions, or an inability to complete tasks. She may be withdrawing, or perhaps having disturbed sleep and it can be all too easy to indulge in that extra drink at this time of year...which, in certain instances, can become a coping mechanism.

Look out for irritability, perhaps being a bit snappy when things that haven’t gone as planned. She might be experiencing difficulty completing tasks or suffering from brain fog that might have more of a mental and emotional impact of this time of year. These quick tips may help:

TIP 1: Conduct a two-way resilience check

Fix a point in the day when you both take a calm moment to report back to each other on how you’re feeling about your resilience.

You might say: “My resilience levels feel like they’re at about seventy per cent. How about you? Where are yours at?” Let’s imagine your partner might reply: “I feel I’m at about twenty per cent. I’m totally rammed at work. I haven’t done any Christmas shopping, even bought a turkey. Yes, I feel totally overwhelmed.”

So then the person with the higher resilience score, could reply: “Well, what can I take off your plate?”.

If your score is 70, it’s time to step up and help out. By doing so, you’ll balance the workload between you. And by discussing it, you’ll acknowledge the overwhelm. Now create a plan for who’s doing what so the demands on yourselves become less daunting.

TIP 2: Don’t ignore your own vulnerability

Remember, fellow Shed Man, overwhelm is something that can affect anyone. It’s not just specific to women. You can easily be overwhelmed, so be on your guard, too. Be honest with your partner about your own feelings of overwhelm. A problem shared is a problem halved. You’re more likely to support each other if you know where your baseline is.

So be kind to yourselves, acknowledge the overwhelm. You might focus on trying to get a walk together every day providing an opportunity to chat about how you’re both doing. Maybe try some breath work to bring some calm into your day.

If you discover by chatting that you BOTH feel overwhelmed, then what should be tackled first? That’s a very valid question.

TIP 3: Apply the oxygen mask procedure

If you’ve ever been on an aeroplane, you’ll know they always advise you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Similar guidance can be applied to helping people suffering from a sense of overwhelm (rather than an imminent shortage of oxygen!). If you, Shed Man, are feeling overwhelmed, it’s quite likely that your partner will be, too. So, look after yourself first, then you’ll be better capable of looking after one another.

Whether you’re jetting off somewhere sunny, or staying home, I wish you a very Happy Holiday.

If you’ve got a question for Our Man in The Man Shed Dr Ben Sinclair, you can email him on [email protected]

Welcome to The Man Shed and I’m delighted to be your man in it!

My name is Dr Ben Sinclair (please just call me ‘Dr Ben’, everyone does), and I’ve been a GP for nearly 20 years. Bear with me a sec while I shift these spare paint tins and get my laptop set up…

If you’ve got a question for Our Man in The Man Shed, Dr Ben Sinclair, you can email him on:
[email protected].

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