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February 2025.

Dr Ben writes a new Blog at the start of every month for our Man Shed section.

Chocolates? Flowers? This Valentine’s, Try The Gift of a Chat!

As I sit here, perched on my favourite stool in my Man Shed, surrounded by flowerpots, my old carpentry tools and various rusty chainsaws, my thoughts are preoccupied by one dilemma.

It's the same old challenge I’m always confronted by at around this time of year – and no, it’s not whether it’s time to fix a date for my annual Shed clean-up.

In the first half of February, like most guys I know, the braincells always focus on that looming date half-way through the month. Men reading this will immediately know I’m talking about the 14th, which falls on a Friday this year.

I’m holed up in my Shed because I’m racking my brains as to how to come up with a present for my wife as St Valentine’s Day is looming. How to make it special, how to bring the romance alive, is the task at hand.

Romance, and all that it entails, sometimes prompts other issues. One thing can lead to another when you’re celebrating with your Valentine, and around this time of life, many men and women may both feel pressure to ‘perform’ when it comes to intimacy.

Perimenopause, at whatever age it arrives, and whether it is surgically induced or a natural transition, can affect libido and can cause other intrusive symptoms. For some men, mid-life is when erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety can begin to become more of a problem.

So, how do we navigate these troubled waters? Well, the bad news is that just sitting here mulling things over in your Man Shed won’t solve all these problems! Men need to take action to positively engage with their female partners to talk about the challenges and pressures faced at this time.

Sometimes these things may never have been an issue before and so broaching the subject can be awkward for both men and women. But in my experience, a chat between ‘the interested parties’ about both your hopes and fears may well lead to increased intimacy, despite the physical challenges involved.

Rather than there being an embarrassing, awkward silence when such issues arise, often the understanding generated by chatting things through openly leads to increased desire and connection.

You might feel that the commercial aspects of St Valentine’s Day overshadow the true emphasis at this time of year, which is to celebrate love. Fair enough.

But rather than being preoccupied with making a big statement with a ring or a present, chocolate or flowers, I’d advise that the act of giving space and time, finding the opportunity for a chat about how things are going, is actually the best St Valentine’s Day present in the world.

February 14th is, for us men, a wonderful opportunity to take a load off your partner and create a moment of quiet, allowing space for intimate chats between the two of you.

We men often have simple desires and we can sometimes forget that St Valentine’s Day is not just about flowers and chocolates. Often, the way to a woman’s heart is through her mind.

If you’ve got a question for Our Man in The Man Shed Dr Ben Sinclair, you can email him on [email protected]

Welcome to The Man Shed and I’m delighted to be your man in it!

My name is Dr Ben Sinclair (please just call me ‘Dr Ben’, everyone does), and I’ve been a GP for nearly 20 years. Bear with me a sec while I shift these spare paint tins and get my laptop set up…

If you’ve got a question for Our Man in The Man Shed, Dr Ben Sinclair, you can email him on:
[email protected].

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