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[CrispyChick]

Ladies.

It's been a hell of a long six years in peri for me do far. And I'm only just about to turn 48.

Hundreds of posts from myself on my various trials - mini pill, coc pill, hrt, bhrt prog only.

And, quite frankly, I'm done. Nothing works to help my fluctuating estrogen. And now, I've got a horrific internal stomach pain that surges whenever I try new things. I've spent £1000s chasing my solution. And ended up right back at the start.

So, the decision is to live and accept it.

How do I do this??? Thoughts please? 🤣

[CLKD]

Think back to how your periods were and how they waxed and waned: as well as which symptom U wanted to ease.

Some people don't require HRT.  Acceptance is difficult. 

[SarahT]

Hi, I know this sounds very simplistic,but for me it was a case of So much upheaval and mental stress going bone, hormonally, life and other health issues, that at some point I just said to myself, - accept it.

Because the additional mental strain of beating myself up over stuff I just  could not change was just adding the pressure on.  I kind of stopped fighting against it and worked with it if that makes sense?

I'm in a better times hrt wise right now, seems the right combo and a tiny dose of AD for mood swings. And talking therapy.

When I look back at the unbelievably dark moods and physical peri symptoms I am kind of surprised I got here. My health is quite honestly atrocious and getting worse with non peri things, but hard as every day is, I need to work with it all.

Hope you can find a way x

[Nas]

I don’t know the answer, but somehow we find a way to accept the new “ normal”.

I now live with secondary breast cancer and a menopause from hell.

No solutions, just solidarity and support, chocolate and nice things to make you feel better 🌺

[CLKD]

Always chocolate - part of my pudding at lunch time and either 2 squares of black or ice cream in the evening ;-)

[Hurdity]

Sorry to hear you haven't had success Crispychick especially after trying so many different things, but wondering how long you trialled the COC pill and whether you tried the ones designed for peri-menopause because they do prevent the dramatic fluctuations of oestrogen and progesterone that occur in peri-menopause. They suppress the cycle.

Also there is the Studd approach of suppressing ovulation through very high oestrogen doses which would prevent the fluctuations, but if you don't get on with very high oestrogen this may not be a solution.

An extreme one is to trial the chemical menopause which has been discussed on here in the past - at least it's reversible. I think there is an injection?

How long have you been taking nothing? It will be interesting to see how often your periods are now ie your cycle length after being peri for so long? Maybe the fluctuations are near an end if you've been peri for 6 years?

All the best

Hurdity x

[getting_old]

Accepting any change is difficult, especially change we don't want. For me I try to find the positives, however small or insignificant they may seem, and focus on them. Also not beating yourself up when you get upset or annoyed, etc about having to change against your will.

[Hollyboll]

Hi CrispyChick -

Sorry to hear you've had such an awful time.  I read some of your story in Mary G's thread recently and was hoping things had improved for you. 

i'm not absolutely clear from your post whether you've stopped everything already or if it's 'just' the acceptance you were asking about. 

On acceptance - the challenge is obviously exacerbated because one of the symptoms for me at least - and I think for many of us who have extra fluctuations or extra reactions to 'normal' fluctuations - is impaired cognition.  I HATE the term 'brain fog' because the black mud under which I was trying to operate was much less transient and dispersible / silvery grey than fog.  So I'd say as others have give yourself a break - I found it so hard when I can't make myself do things I knew I 'should', be that get up, get out or move, see the positives or eat properly ... and that makes it worse if you then start 'shoulding' all over yourself...



I'm guessing from the other replies that this isn't what you're asking, but just in case it's any help (I've had fluctuations like sub 200 to almost 2000 within 48 hours):
- if you haven't yet but are going to stop hrt totally, do it gradually - otherwise it's just another crazy fluctuation
- Have you seen an actual proper meno specialist ie a consultant who specialises in meno/HRT?  If you can do one last throw of a private appt, while you wait to crawl up NHS lists - your GP should refer you to a meno clinic if you have had this history, and you can always insist on seeing consultant when you arrive. 

There just may be an option out there (what Hurdity mentions is one, although there are other rare things to try first.  I've had years of hell too, and I too wasted some of those paying £££ to people who call themselves specialists & charge consultant prices but are simply GPs who know more than most GPs (not a particularly high bar!) - they increased my e2 which exacerbated my fluctuations ... it wasn't until I was lucky enough to end up with a proper specialist that anybody recognised my own crazy fluctuations were not 'just peri' as had been said but a very unusual uptake issue, exacerbated by stupid high doses pushing me into tachyphylaxis on the peaks. 

Good luck and keep us posted ... if you can work out acceptance I'm sure we'd all love to hear how    xx

An extreme one is to trial the chemical menopause which has been discussed on here in the past - at least it's reversible. I think there is an injection?

Chem meno is available in injections and nasal sprays (at the moment, latter wasn't available for a bit but recently back on)

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I am very post meno so I am not dealing with my own fluctuations along with my HRT but I also find it hard to accept my new circumstances and I continue to struggle with some symptoms.

I have tried several regimes over the years and my Oestradiol levels have ranged from 600 pmol/L three years ago to 75 pmol/L today.


I envy the women who either don't need HRT to begin with or who managed to tolerate their meno issues and are now stable physically and emotionally.

Take care ladies.

K.

[CrispyChick]

Thanks you ladies

The support and wise words means a lot.

I'm not sure how long my new 'acceptance' and staying on nothing is going to last - as I've woken with spinning head and severe nausea. These are my original, most horrific symptoms. Caused by the estrogen spikes.

To answer a few of the questions. Other than 2 weeks, I've never been on conventional hrt. When trialled the estrogen alone poisioned me - which was the lightbulb moment of realising this is all estrogen for me.

I've been through the NHS meno clinic years ago - their advice was to try every pill under the sun. I did.

I have not however tried qlaira or zoley. But think harder to get in Scotland. Also. Whilst you say the coc will supress the cycle - it really doesnt suppress fully. A lot of these symptoms break through. But it is still an option I'm considering, especially after waking up so ill this morn.

Hollyboll - I think you're right. I have extra reactions to these fluctuations. That many do not seem to experience.

I test my estrogen regularly and I know it is the culprit. I tried the mini pill again last summer and it nicely brought my E down to 220 the first 2 months  - and this all lifted. Unfortunately it doesn't stay like that and the mini pill no longer suppresses my E.

The bhrt clinic solution was progesterone only therapy plus estrogen detox. I could see some success with this. But my system has had enough and I'm now getting agonising stomach pain whenever I try anything. So it's game over.

Given how I'll I feel this morning, I'm not sure acceptable is an option either. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

[Kathleen]

Hello again ladies.

CrispyChick -   The fact that your bhrt clinic wanted to trial progesterone confirms your  view that oestrogen is your problem.  It must be so frustrating that you can't find a treatment that successfully lowers your oestrogen.

For the past three months I have been using the equivalent of one pump of gel and 100mg of Utrogestan orally. As my mood swings continue I may decide to stop the gel and see if I feel better on progesterone only.
It will be the first time that I have used a reasonable amount of prog and no added oestrogen but it's worth a try!

I truly hope you feel better soon and sending hugs.

Take care.

K.

[CLKD]

Acceptance is difficult when symptoms are physical.  Anxiety hits below the belly button = nausea, although my body may lack energy and be hungry.  I don't recognise hunger.  It's happened to me more than stars in the sky, but physicality 4 me is difficult to over come.

[buffy26]

I don’t know the answer, but somehow we find a way to accept the new “ normal”.

I now live with secondary breast cancer and a menopause from hell.

No solutions, just solidarity and support, chocolate and nice things to make you feel better 🌺

 Nas, your strength and mindset is incredible. I pray you have tons of that support and solidarity and a mountain of chocolate and other goodies to keep you going

[Nas]

buffy, I’ve become so resilient to physical pain and suffering, recently, that I’ve learnt to accept this is what I must go through to stay alive.

Chocolate by the bucket full 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

Crispy, how are you doing?

[CrispyChick]

Sounds like you are very strong Nas.

I'm still holding on to the acceptance. Just. Had a bad day full of wooziness and motion sickness and anxiety. I just need to take each day as it comes, if symptoms get worse - I'll need to go back on a pill.

But I'm hoping things might calm a bit and I'll be further forward in my journey. Xx