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[GypsyRoseLee]

Hello All. Haven't been around for quite a while because I went over 9 months symptom free. I used to be all over these forums because the peri menopause caused such dreadful anxiety and depression. The support and understanding I found here was genuinely a lifesaver. Prof Studd's regime slowly sorted me out and gradually the good weeks outweighed the bad until, like I said, I went over 9 months symptom free and feeling great.

But, on Dec. 12th my mood suddenly slumped and the nasty anxiety was back. No reason for it, though my withdrawal bleed from Utrogestan started on the 13th (but this is totally normal and hasn't caused any issue for 9 months). I did notice that this month my withdrawal bleed lasted a few days longer and was a but heavier than usual. So I couldn't enjoy the run up to Xmas at all as felt so horrible. Cancelled lots of plans etc.

Luckily it faded away on the 23rd, and I was back to normal feeling great again. I thought it was just a weird blip, after 9 months of bliss, maybe my body's last bid at being a pain.

But, out of the blue, my mood floored again yesterday and feel horribly jittery and horrible. Am absolutely gutted it has happened again so soon. I just don't understand what is happening. Just needed to get it all out.

[Mary G]

Hello GRL,

Nice to hear from you but really sorry to hear you are feeling low.

I agree that it could be your own oestrogen levels have dropped and that could explain the blip.

It might be worth emailing Professor Studd's office for some advice.   It's possible you will need to increase the gel.   How many pumps are you using at the moment?

My understanding is that with reproductive depression, you need to keep your oestrogen levels high at all times and if your ovaries have stopped producing oestrogen completely, you will need to increase your gel dose.

I'm confident you can get back to where you were, you are one of the great success stories on here!

[CLKD]

 

Set backs often feel worse than the problem because we have a good time then wham! and the 'will it never go away' mind set starts.

Are you due for a review at all?  Maybe an e-mail to see if it would be appropriate to increase the pumps?

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you so much for replying so quickly. I have been on 4 pumps for the last 3 years. I'm reluctant to increase to 5 pumps because I've had worse blips than this and then returned to normal. My last blip was last March and lasted 2 weeks. It was the worst I'd had for a couple of years. But it finally went, and I had 9 months of feeling great.

I'm struggling to remember but I have a suspicion that my last course of Utrogestan was only 6 days, not 7 because I was away and only took 6 tablets with me. I honestly didn't think it would matter. But now I'm wondering if just missing that one tablet has caused problems and that's why my withdrawal bleed was heavier and lasted longer than it has for the last couple of years?

I'm struggling to believe that just missing one tablet of Utrogestan could cause such upheaval though???

[GypsyRoseLee]

Completely agree at how frustrating the not knowing is! Can there be any other condition where dosage and levels are so random? There's nothing else different going on, especially. I did come to the end of my pump pack day before yesterday though and rather than go and fetch a new pump, I used what was left which was probably only 3 and and a little bit. Again, could that have triggered a dip???

[Ladybt28]

oh that's a shame GypseyRoseLee, after such a long run of "ok-ness"!  Your first post sounds like you were still in peri when you started to get sorted.  I'd be with stellajane and maryG in that your own hormone levels seem to have dropped in so far as 4 pumps cannot sustain the right level.  The fact that you have had 2 blips close together would seem to suggest so.  Also the last couple of pumps out of a pump pack are not really what I would call full doses... well that would be my experience anyway, I had a couple of dips at the end of packs so I am always careful to ditch it sooner rather than later when you get to the last 4 pumps or so, the blobs just seem smaller than the rest.  When I see a small dose coming out then I go onto a new pack.

I think the Utro can play a part for some people but I think its more likely that you own body is not producing any oestrogen at all anymore and that has meant the oestrogel is doing all the work.  You have 2 choices I would say, either keep going on 4 and see if you get another blip (in which case that would confirm it but it's not very comfortable to be living in the dips) or increase and see if it doesn't happen again.  If it does happen again then it may well be something else  xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi. I'm feeling slightly better today which I'm very grateful for. The nasty anxiety had gone but still feel very flat. I'm definitely missing the lovely, slightly fuzzy feeling of wellbeing I associate with good oestrogen levels for me.

I turn 50 this year so it makes sense my own oestrogen could have dried up. But I assumed that, by now, I wouldn't need as much oestrogen as when I was younger (all this started when I turned 43).

*LadyBT28* I started a new pump pack yesterday so have had 2 days of full size pumps which might be helping. I will definitely be very wary of using those last few pumps in a pack from now on.

I am shocked that such a small change in dosage could cause such ill effects for me! Is anyone else this sensitive to such small changes?

[Hurdity]

Hi GypsyRoseLee

Nice to "see" you but also sorry to see you in such circumastances - it's always good when we don't hear from members for a while who have had problems as we know you're all probably OK!

I can't really add anything - and also not a gel user so don't have the ups and downs like that. However I do regularly feel bad around the time of the heaviest bit of the withdrawal bleed even after I think the progesterone withdrawal is done with ( the bleed starts about 3 days after last dose) - and sometimes worse than others for no reason that I can fathom? I think the physical act of the uterus contracting and expelling the lining can take a toll on the body - or maybe it's just that I'm getting old - but I definitely notice it.

That doesn't explain the latest dip though - but your idea (confirmed by ladybt) about smaller doses in the pumps at the end of the pack could be to blame? I do remember that you are very sensitive to changes in levels so maybe thats it - two separate things causing you to feel wretched - and exacerbated by the time of year because we want and expect to be at our best to enjoy family festive time and then the anti-climax afterwards, after all that effort? Our bodies are not completely machines so even if we give them what we think is exactly the same regime - there are so many other variables like the weather, what we eat, vitamins, the time of year, exercise, stress etc that affect how we are and respond and tempting to look for other causes.

For your sake - I hope it's just a temporary blip and you feel back to your normal well self again soon

Hurdity xx

[Redlocks]

I sympathise so, so much!! Over the summer I was a different person to the shadow I am now, argh!
I'm probably repeating what others have said, but is it worth discussing a change in dosage and checking other hormones, such as thyroid?
X

[Bring me Sunshine]

Hello GysyRoseLee and girls

I totally emphasise.  I am back here today after a long absence only due to the fact that life kicked back in great for almost 2 years and I was so busy living life again.  I too dipped last Sunday totally out of the blue.  I was putting it down to the stresses of Christmas, lack of routine, not exercising the same so I started exercising etc but feel completely flat the same old symptons of the past the negative feelings, not feeling good enough, all the old familar horrible feelings that I thought had gone.  I think it is hormones changing and I have just emailed Heather Currie for some advice as I have been well on 3 pumps of Oestrogel having decreased in March 2019 after a breast biopsy.  All was well but the breast consultant hated the idea of hrt and said I must come off it but I said no way it was my life saver but I did cut down from 4 pumps (which I had been on for a year before).  I have just put myself back to 4 pumps and am waiting fingers crossed to find me again and so I wait and find myself back to the computer and reading anything I can find on peple going low again after being well.  What a nightmare!!  The fear of not getting back to that "well" person is scary. I will update when I hear back from Dr Currie to see if she has anything else to say.

It will pass (something I always say-I just need to believe it again) xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

I'm still feeling very flat, no motivation, feeling it's all hopeless. At least I don't have the anxiety/dreads, but this is still highly unpleasant. I'm on Day 5 of Utrogestan, so maybe the progesterone isn't helping my mood, but I usually sail through my 7 Utro days. I just hate this, it's not living.

Fingers crossed your increase to 4 pumps is the charm BringMeSunshine. Hopefully it won't take too long.

[CLKD]

GRL - knowing that you got through similar previously probably won't be helpful but I am thinking of you. 

I think set backs are often worse - the worry that 'is this it', 'oh! not again', 'will this never go' ..........

Big Hugs to you who are dipping!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you CLKD. You're absolutely right, unfortunately, in that when you're dipping it's so difficult to imagine you will ever feel good again.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Birdy, I'm thinking of you today. Try to hang onto a bit of positivity (so hard I know). These dips happen because our hormones are fluctuating. So it's logical to think that they will also fluctuate back upwards again.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Bring Me Sunshine - can I ask how your dip manifested? Mine happen within a couple of seconds, completely out of the blue. I get a split second warning pang of unease, I think 'Oh no, not this again', then BANG I'm feeling so horribly flat, filled with jittery anxiety and feelings of doom.

It's no wonder that so many women are misdiagnosed with bi polar.