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[tabbycat3838]

Hello bright light thankyou for your comments, it really seems weird this thyroid testing issue?how do you find out that you have a problem if all tests come back normal?? I know that my biological mother has a thyroid issue and had to fight jard to get it diagnosed apparantly..
I do also take iron and b vitamins in liquid form, and yes also really revised my diet eating loads of nuts and seeds like flax and eating regularly now.plus cut out alot of carbs and upped the protien..we will see what time brings x

[honeybun]

That's terrible. Have you spoken to your son about the fine. He could get a Saturday job to help pay it off, a milk round or a paper round. If you went to prison he would be taken into care....does he realise this.
As for eating pizza all the time....don't buy it....but it won't do him any harm.

Have you looked at colleges for him when he turns 16, maybe a practical course if he is not interested in the academic side.

Like Hurdity I had real problems with my son. In his teens and then in his early 20s. He started his own business against our advice and then a year later went spectacularly bankrupt.
He is now almost 26 got a great job and his own flat and actually wants to spend time with us...

As for smoking.....report him. A warning from the police would do him no harm at all and maybe even frighten him into getting his act together.
Don't give up on him.....I often used to tell me son that I hated his behaviour (and it was awful) but I loved him. He was never in any doubt over that......the two things were ver clearly separate, and I did hate his behaviour, he made my life miserable for quite a while.

Honeybun
X

[tabbycat3838]

Hi honey bun.. I hope you are well?
Yes it is terrible i feel really angry and resentful about it (not healthy i know) lol he doesnt seem to care about me dealing with his fine.. Its not his problem, and even if he does, i dont think he feels capeable of changing anything.his confidence is rock bottom he has zero self asteem left.he had a stressful relationship way too young and then started on the weed its been a steady decline from there.i got him on work experience for a,while working with kids in a nursury.. Hes very empathic so he thought he would like it but of course he gave up on that after a few months.he is juat a lost soul at tge momemt and very angry.you are right about not buying it, i guess i just worry he wont eat anything at all ever!you kniw,how us mums just want our kids to be fed and them eating is part of nurturing them.
It really seems like ive done nothing with him but thats not the case, he knows how to cook.. He knows,how to do things he just....... Wont.he will starve himself all day untill i cook him something, simply because he cant be assed to make himself something.like i said, its liike a defiance thing, he knows how to press my buttons.
As for reprting him its not really my style but i get what you are saying.
Another encouraging thing to hear your son also came through those years and is in a good place.
My boy has always been very popular and bright and happy..i know hes still in there somewhere. X

[BrightLight]

Hello bright light thankyou for your comments, it really seems weird this thyroid testing issue?how do you find out that you have a problem if all tests come back normal?? I know that my biological mother has a thyroid issue and had to fight jard to get it diagnosed apparantly..
I do also take iron and b vitamins in liquid form, and yes also really revised my diet eating loads of nuts and seeds like flax and eating regularly now.plus cut out alot of carbs and upped the protien..we will see what time brings x

It's a hot potato topic and there are many things to read about what a 'normal' range is  - basically the NHS won't treat unless the blood tests go out of the range they set

I am convinced that long term stress influences all these things and my go to remedy is to try and slow down, stay calm and address any stress that you can - easier said than done.

[CLKD]

We make choices and not always what our parents/friends/relatives expect of us or agree with.

Do contact a drug support group and ask them to liaise with the Head teachers in your area …………. peer talking to peers often makes more sense than the same information being put to them from an adult, particularly one 'in authority'!

Would your son make pizza at home or add more healthy toppings to ones bought ?  Certainly Pizza Express do really good choices, there are pasta options too.

[tabbycat3838]

I agree brightlight. There are alsorts of rediculas ranges set by medics ferratin being one of them 8 - 150??  Lol i was virtualy dead at 7. And not much better at 47!
I think when you are not getting any answers,all you can do is try to be your own doctor. I truly believe "almost "all illnesess stem from deficiencies of some sort.i am coming more to this conclusion the more i look into it.i believe most of us are deficient in some area. We need to tackle the root cause and gps need educating about that too, but then theres no money to be made in prescribing vitamins is there.
Apparantly asian women (in asia)dont even experience menopause "symptoms" why?
Im sorry but i just dont believe meno should have to be such a painful,unbearable thing to be endured or medicated.and i think there are probably underlying reasons why some of us are suffering more than than others.x

[tabbycat3838]

I agree ckld. I know im not the right person anymore and he needs someone else to turn to other than me, obvs he cant go to his dad.
We dont have a working oven unfortunately..he would possibly cook something if we did and yeah we used to make pizzas from scratch when he was younger,he enjoyed it but finds it hard to concentrate on things.
He has a,support worker, although where he is is anyones guess!he is a guy from a young persons,drug and alcohol organisation.i cslled today, and the ed welfare but surprisingly they have bothe dropped off the radar.lol x

[CLKD]

That's not good enough that you are unable to contact anyone for advice.  So contact Samaritans or a Gay Helpline for advice?  Most of these support lines have phone numbers and advice for numerous situations 

[tabbycat3838]

No it wasnt advice needed its,my sons,support worker and education welfare officer who are supposed to be having contact with us both regularly.i had to hassle for ages to get a cefs report done on him and so am waiting to hear back from that..lije i said no answer and no calls back from my messages.. Useless.. .my son isnt gay lol though i wouldnt care.. Would be grateful for the free hair cuts  thankyou for all your advice ckld and everyone else youve all been amazingly helpful today and its massively appreciated.xx

[Suzyq]

I get dreadful palpitations when my estrogen goes too high so it could well have been the hrt!

I am completely sure your son doesn't hate your guts - teenagers and hormones - a terrible combination. I went through hell with my oldest daughter and thought we would never get through it. Now she's through it all she's just so lovely. Steer clear of me as much as you can and wait for them to come out the other side. Xx

[tabbycat3838]

Suzi q, yes that doesnt surprise me.they are so disconcerting arnt they.especialy if you have other symptoms aswell, like weekness, dizziness etc.ive had ectopics for years and they never bothered me too much but that was off the scale.
I do believe personaly it was the hrt, i just cant really equate it anything else.
I am definitely taking yours and others advice here, and detaching from him.he can tell as hes actimg a bit different already.has stopped asking me for things which is miraculas as he nags me relentlessly.i am not budging on that one.if he wants to be independant he has to leaen to fend for himself and cant go through life taking,  expecting and being disrespectful especialy towards women.we all want our sons to be good men, and particularly men who know how to respect the females in their lives.i know its been hard for him being surrounded and hen pecked by two very strong fiesty women, and i know he has found his voice is exerting himself and standing up for himself against us.. That, i respect and understand but insulting comments, sneering and bullying me isnt acceptable at all.so i have to help him find another way to express himself.im sure we will talk this all through when the dust settles a bit.
Its been so helpful to hear everyones experiences here, i feel much much calmer about it all and much more hopeful.cant express how much yesterday helped talking to you guys.absaloutely amazing thankyou.xx

[honeybun]

Distancing yourself from him will help you both. It's very difficult but the best thing I ever did was to keep my mouth shut. My son was older than yours when he gave us problems, so the rules were a bit different....ie....Don't come in drunk...EVER. He had to tell us if he wasn't coming home.
After that I did not comment at all. Basically I just ignored his behaviour and eventually he gave up as he got no reaction at all.

Your lovely boy is in there, he will return, the vast majority of them do.

Now mine has a good degree, a good job and is back to being his mum's golden boy 

In a few years you will be able to look back and maybe not laugh but just be glad he grew up.

Take care.


Honeyb
x

[tabbycat3838]

Lovely to hear that honeybun :-) and i think you are right.i do think a bit of tough love is whats needed at the moment,for him  but also for my own survival!
And yeah hes always been extremely lovely, everyone who meets him says so.
Respect to you and every woman dealing with teenage boys! Especialy when we have so much to deal with ourselves.
Xxx

[Winterose]

Re thyroid, get a thermometer and take your temperature on waking every morning before getting out of bed. do this for 10 days , if its consistently below normal then that indicates a thyroid problem, mine was 34 degrees , its now 36 ,

[CLKD]

  would a GP believe the readings though 

As for 'being gay', 1 doesn't have to be anything in order to contact support groups for advice