Hi suzicals,
You are right that you can't help anyone who isn't ready to be helped. Men, especially, seem to have the John Wayne syndrome, not to recognise the signs of stress and mental illness. This to them is a sign of weakness, a sign of being less than worthy. Yet to admit to being ill first to yourself then to others requires courage and strength. However awful it is while you are going through it, I'm convinced mental illness, once you start healing, can help you to be a stronger, kinder more empathic person.
I'm going to make a rather sweeping statement about men. They tend to want to fix things and people. Hence your husband will happily fix your bike, but has withdrawn from you. He can't fix you; only you can fix you, as only he can fix him, with support. We are all responsible for ourselves. I had to educate my husband to understand that he didn't have to do anything, just listen and really hear me. Your husband is not in the right place to do that for or you for him at the moment.
Do make use of the services offered by the Samaritans. They are available 24/7 by phone, face to face and I think email now. I made a call to the Samaritans a few years ago and it made a huge difference to me. I recently heard a talk by them and was very impressed. It is one service you really can be anonymous.
Several people here have been through similar situations as you and can really relate to what you are experiencing, but are coming through amazingly. They are my heroes.
