Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mrs Bella]

Hi Emerald, I have the same thoughts as you. I think that evolution and a longer life expectancy hasn't served women very well. If only we didn't have to lose everything when we lose our fertility. To suddenly find ourselves with so many physical problems as well as low mood and anxiety when we may have another 30 years or more to live is really awful.
My youngest child is at high school, I have a demanding job, a mortgage to pay, and a body to keep fit and healthy. I can't suddenly tell the world that I can no longer function! I'm totally reliant on HRT, antidepressants and testosterone. I have to think positively though, because I spent 6 months telling myself that I wasn't designed to live beyond 48 and so I was suicidal. The only reason I'm still here is because I have a husband and children- it's for them just as much for myself that I take all these hormones and antidepressants.

Oh I had a similar conversation with a friend today Wilks. She said how unfair this whole menopause thing is for us women. She was at the peak of her career and bam menopause hit her in the face. She said that she would stand in broad meetings drenched in sweat. She couldn't just tell her boss “Can I press pause for a moment until I pull myself together?”.
There are so many symptoms/variables in this menopause bizzo...failing looks being one of them. Menopause sucks!

[Emerald2017]

I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..

[Wilks]

Before I started hrt, I found a website that said there were “loads of lifestyle changes you could make to improve things”. Great, fantastic! I thought.....

.... I read on, and it said “drink less alcohol, stop smoking, do plenty of exercise and eat healthily”. But I have never smoked, and have always done sports, eaten healthily, and I don't drink much (2 or 3 glasses of red wine a week at most). I was so angry when I read that 

[Wilks]

I was talking to an old boyfriend from nearly 20 years ago yesterday and he says I look better now. I didn't ask him, he just said it!

[Emerald2017]

I am a cross fit athlete and I have an absolutely healthy diet and lifestyle.
When I read such things I am so angry too! It sounds like it is our responsibility to handle meno with a natural way.
For me there is no natural way. It is just the lack of estrogen that causes all these awful symptoms.
I read somewhere that menopause is a choice, meaning that with hrt we have no menopause. I find that interesting!
I hope that in future will handle menopause the same way we handle diabetes and other hormonal deficiencies.

[Dorothy]

I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..

Another single, childless 43 year old here!  And there is nothing wrong with either of us except the menopause!  Some people just get it worse than others.  If two people develop an illness and one recovers fast and the other one is seriously ill, you don't blame the second person - you just accept they got hit harder by the illness.  So we shouldn't be blaming ourselves because other people our age seem to cope better.

Also, I think that while in some ways it is easier to go through this single (you don't have to worry about looking after children or trying to 'keep it together' when you are home because no one is around to see you) it can make you feel a bit isolated, especially if you don't have the energy to go out as you don't see anyone outside work!

[Mrs Bella]

I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..

I too am thinking the same thing Emerald2017...what the hell is going wrong with me? This same friend of mine said she refused to take HRT. She wanted to do the whole menopause thing naturally. I was like, “Well if she can run a company on natural supplements and I can't even operate the vaccum cleaner without crying and I am on HRT...what the hell is going wrong with me?”.

[Mrs Bella]

Wilks, Emerald2017 and Dorothy we are all similar in age. Most women I know who are going through menopause are in their 50s. I think I am struggling with this because I feel cheated. I am a decade too early for all this.

[Mrs Bella]

I was talking to an old boyfriend from nearly 20 years ago yesterday and he says I look better now. I didn't ask him, he just said it!

That's reassuring considering he just said it. Take it from him that you do look fabulous now just as you are.

[Emerald2017]

THE SAME!!!  . My mum take care of me! She cooks for me, she spends hours with me and I just work and go to gym.
I felt like a failure last year and I think that my bad psychology made things worse. I try not to compare myself with others and to think with a positive way.
My biggest fear was about premature aging and diseases but with time I feel that it is not so simple.
Thanks for replying Bella! 💐

[Daisydot]

I'm 61 now Mrs Bella had a surgical menopause at 42 had hrt for about 5 years then taken off aged 50 ish can't remember lol.the next few years were hell I've only been back on it around 6 months and already I have my glow back,I've had to battle tooth and nail for this though,I look better now than I did in my 40s I don't care if it's vain I work hard at it and I'm contented with my looks at my age.🎼as the song says “ I'm sexy and I know it “ 

[Emerald2017]

Hi again Bella! The fact that they have their meno at 50s doesn't mean that they look younger or we will age faster. I guess that it is our biggest mistake and makes us feel cheated! It isn't true!

[CLKD]

Well both my Grans lived into the 80s.  My Mum is 91.5.  M in L got to 85.  No HRT for them!  They had/have lovely skin.  All remained active until 1 dropped dead, the other developed cancer of the bile duct and was dead in 4/5 weeks - both natural causes.  My Mum is still up and at it 

Menopause is natural.  It isn't 'there' for any particular reason other than that child bearing is done.  After all, older women don't need to have children as they have probably reproduced, raised their young and sent them on their way.  In theory.  Have a look at African and the Amazonian cultures ........ the Matriarch has done her job and now she looks after the grandchildren and over-sees the Tribe.  Everyone there has a Role to play because they live in matriarchal societies, something that we in the UK have lost.  More common in Italy and Greece still. 

My Grans didn't lose their looks either.  They didn't wear make-up.  They used fresh water from the guttering drained through a stocking and boiled  .  They ate fresh fruits and veg., walked a lot more from a very early age than we do, even in the last 10-12 years .  Got up at dawn and went to bed at dusk to save candles.  I do wonder how they coped with menopause as it wasn't discussed.

[Hezzalady67!]

I was never much of a looker when young and had loads of skin problems. Between 30 and 45 I had fifteen years of being good looking. I took care of my figure, had long, blonde hair and looked gorgeous...however, I thought I was fat and ugly even then!!

Since then and affected by  early meno, everything has gone. I have put on two stone, can't dye my hair as I seem to be sensitive to absolutely everything and feel ( as I have posted about before) like I have cheated my long term partner who I met at 42, from a gorgeous, slim young looking person to a fat, grey, wrinkly, miserable old woman!!! Like the film The Shining when Jack Nicholson is snogging a young woman who turns into a hag in front of him.

Every year, I think I will exercise, diet and get something of the old me back. Every year I am a stone heavier and eat all the wrong things. I am so unhappy to lose my looks.

I feel for anyone else struggling with this and those who can cope are very lucky or strong people.
Xxx

[CLKD]

Luck doesn't come into it.  Genes however may well do.

Hezzalady - what Plans have you and your partner to exercise more and choose healthy food options occasionally?  I am going to exercise more every day, apart from gardening I don't ........ we had a dog and I walked miles until 2012, now I simply can't be bothered unless we are on holiday.  I kid myself that gardening helps a bit