Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Hinari hot flush on May 26, 2018, 01:29:14 PM
-
How are or have you ladies coped with losing your looks and maybe no longer turning heads in the way you used to too? I wouldn't say I feel invisible yet but going out definitely takes longer and more effort. Also my assets look good with a push up bra so that helps draw attention ;) lol but this getting old thing really isnt easy but suppose I should stop being an old grump trying to look 10 years younger and pass the baton on to the next generation of young pretty things.
-
How are or have you ladies coped with losing your looks and maybe no longer turning heads in the way you used to too? I wouldn't say I feel invisible yet but going out definitely takes longer and more effort. Also my assets look good with a push up bra so that helps draw attention ;) lol but this getting old thing really isnt easy but suppose I should stop being an old grump trying to look 10 years younger and pass the baton on to the next generation of young pretty things.
I do know what you mean about our looks not being what they were, Hinari h.f. But there's nothing to stop us being as beautiful as we can be at our stage in life, never mind the pretty young things. We've every right to make the most of ourselves as we are, now, without any need at all to look ten years younger. Beauty changes, but it doesn't go!
-
I've never had much in the way of looks to lose, so I guess that's one advantage of being the plain, gawky kid in the corner. My best mate who's been turning heads since she was about 8 is finding it much harder to cope. Although she still manages to look stunning even though she thinks she doesn't, so maybe you don't look as bad as you think you do either!
Having said that, I do feel a lot more drab and frumpy than I used to. I combat it by trying to stay as fit & healthy as possible. I also make sure I drink loads of water - I really notice the difference. If I have a day when I don't drink so much, my skin looks lifeless and I seem a lot more wrinky. On days when I am well-hydrated, I look much 'brighter'. Posture, grooming and a healthy lifestyle will all hopefully help us keep looking good even as we age.
-
I have no ntentions of growing old gracefully I'll get that hair colour out pronto as and when required.Ive never worn make up as I tan nicely and I've always been a clothes horse lol.i think I look better now than I did in my 40s anyway,I think at our ages we have less stress so that all helps and of course that smile a day works wonders for our facial muscles so as the “young uns†say turn that frown upside down :rofl:
-
I have no intention of growing old gracefully! I don't mind a few lines and a few grey hairs, and I keep fit which can help with looking and feeling youthful.
I think the becoming invisible thing is more about resigning oneself to beige, and wearing frumpy clothes. I've always avoided beige and always will, lol.
The only thing I dislike about my appearance is the extra couple of inches on my waist. I've always been straight up and down with small hips so it doesn't take much extra on the waist for me to feel shapeless!
-
Hi hinari hot flush
I've been out shopping today, and saw a lot young girls looking glamorous in
their summer gear, some wearing hardly nothing, which I've never at any age done,
and I think ‘god, wish I was that young again', BUT, I've also found out that if I've got
confidence then I don't think that, confidence is THE KEY, i think.
Don't get me wrong, I ent got confidence everyday, but when I have, I feel good.
I know I can't wear what the youngens do, but I can make myself look good and sexy,
if I want with what I do wear, and a smile too.
Just feel good about you. Not what everyone looks like, and I think confidence goes a
long way....with or without wrinkles.. ;D
Jd x
-
When I am old, I will wear purple ;-)
I don't look in the mirror. Occasionally I see that old woman looking back from a shop window :o ::)
Good diet. Gentle exercise. Make-up that suits your age. Hair colour that suits your age. Hi or low-lights. Hair length that suits your age, long hair sometimes doesn't suit ladies over 40. I went to a hairdresser to fit on wigs prior to changing my hair style ;-).
Check your foot wear. Struggling on heels or in sloppy shoes can age a person! If there is an area of the body that you don't like maybe buy a large handbag for example or bright shoes ;-)
-
Check your foot wear. Struggling on heels or in sloppy shoes can age a person! ..............
Good point, CLKD! :)
-
Many people don't realise that bad footwear puts a huge strain from top of the head all the way down :o. However much we like some footwear, it really shouldn't be available to the public ::).
Good posture makes a different to how I feel, when tired I lean over and when I was very depressed, I walked, almost curled into a ball.
Keeping good posture now avoids that 'dowagers' look in later years ;-).
-
Struggling on heels or in sloppy shoes can age a person!
If I had my way, I'd ban heels for any age! SO bad for your legs and back. And really high heels make you walk so awkwardly at any age. I am suffering a lot from stiffness these days and some mornings I am staggering along looking about 20 years older than I am. Last week, I saw a friend who is a year older than me and hasn't yet started peri and she was staggering along in 6 inch heels. I realised that we had exactly the same walk, only mine is due to joint pain and hers is due to fashion. And she thinks it makes her look good!!!
-
Yes Dorothy, I know what you mean,
I've seen girls walking in 4/5in heels hobbling around knees bent
looking like they've broke their backs, one false move and it's all over..lol
Wonder how many have actually broke their ankles from a miss footing.?
I wear wedges, but not that high..lol
Jd x
-
I've never been a looker so not too bothered about that. My body is a different story. I've always been proud of my body but now I cover it up - and I resent the deterioration.
-
How are or have you ladies coped with losing your looks and maybe no longer turning heads in the way you used to too? I wouldn't say I feel invisible yet but going out definitely takes longer and more effort. Also my assets look good with a push up bra so that helps draw attention ;) lol but this getting old thing really isnt easy but suppose I should stop being an old grump trying to look 10 years younger and pass the baton on to the next generation of young pretty things.
Hello Hinari hot flush,
I am not coping! I can't stand aging. It's the increasing facial hair that is killing my whole vibe/style thing I have going on. Laser treatments are just not cutting it.
I have had a giggle at some of the other responses. I think I might start wearing purple as CLKD plans too when she gets older.
On a serious note, I don't really have a say. I can workout, pretty myself up ... but at the end of the day the aging process will win. I figure I just have to make the most of what I have now.
-
Look at your genes too!
-
Hi hinari. I really hate getting old and recent Meno probs has made me feel bad about myself. But I really make an effort and am now having my hair coloured professionally instead of doing it myself and I like the clothes I wear now. But its really hard looking in the mirror these days and the daylight is really unforgiving! I turned 60 recently and I hate it so much! My sister in law was stupid enough to send a birthday card with 60 on it. My husband got a lot of grief about his daft sister as I rarely see her. Poor fella didn't deserve it!
-
As my mum used to say "getting old is difficult but the alternative is much worse" ;D
Having lost three friends in the last two years - all of whom didn't make the 60 milestone I am learning to appreciate each day I am here but it is hard to embrace the new "us" sometimes.
Taz x
-
Hello,
Well said, my Mum used to say the same.
I can relate to the 'losing your looks' frustration, but in the end it's about how you feel. Some ladies look terrific after face & neck lift, hormones and make-up but that is not enough to make them feel good. Sometimes all it takes is a little faith in Mother Nature, getting older should go along with getting wiser.
-
My mum used to say that "old age is not for wimps", but she was referring to the concomitant ailments I guess. Jillydoll has the right idea, confidence is the key. I've never had that much in the way of natural assets, so have always been used to making the best of what there is. There's even less now ;D.
JP x
-
Confidence, fulfillment and happiness. :) :) :)
-
The less time spent looking in the mirror, the more I can do 'stuff' ;-)
-
Dulciana if beauty comes from the heart then you are drop dead gorgeous 😉
-
I really struggle with this. I never was a looker, so to speak, but I was skinny and agile and full of life. I don't feel like that now, and it's all a bit strange, considering I recently did a degree, an MA, got a good job, promoted twice in three years … I was saying to my husband last night that I remember wrestling with a poem (I'm an arty type) about my mother 20 years ago, I was trying to convey what her face looked like, and I came up with the line that it was 'wet washing'. I have her face. I'm not fantastically happy about the spare tyre (cycling 50 miles a week for two years did nothing, a mainly plant based diet did nothing) or the aches and pains either. I never planned to grow old gracefully, but I just don't feel comfortable in my body any more, it's as if it's not really mine.
-
Elk - welcome. As oestrogen levels drop muscles may become lax = aches and pains, also that's what causes the flabby skin under the arms as well as the apron dropping. Mine 'went' in about 3/4 days a few years ago. From above I look fat but I haven't put on any weight. Very little can be done about that but do keep exercising. No exercise is a waste of time!
-
I think that when we are focused on our appearance we lose the confidence and the charm our personality has.
When I diagnosed with early meno a year ago, I was obsessed with how I look and what that means for my self esteem and my confidence.
I realize that many things are in our mind. I try not to compare myself with younger ladies. I exercise daily, I have a clean diet and try to avoid stress. I started a romantic relationship a few months ago and it gives me such a courage to go on and appreciate the things that I have in my life.
Life is for living!
-
What a lovely post Emerald2017, you have the right attitude! I wish you all the best in your new relationship.
JP x
-
Thank you Joan! 💐
-
Dulciana if beauty comes from the heart then you are drop dead gorgeous 😉
Thank you, Daisydot - that's kind! :thankyou:
-
I think what's hard is that it doesn't happen gradually. One minute you're full of life and literally- wham! You've dropped through a trapdoor into hell. I know I keep saying this but I'm in shock because I thought we grew old more gradually!
However, the way you look reflects how you feel inside. Being severely depressed and anxious for months on end, crying a lot, and not sleeping did nothing for my looks. I look a lot better now than I did in January :D
-
Hi Wilkes! I think that it is gradually but we cannot see it, after 35 we start to lose our estrogen and after 45 the change is more obvious.
And when we reach meno things are too hard! My theory is that nature simply don't need us for reproduction, so it is time not to live anymore. Our body cannot survive without estrogen for longtime. I think that menopause isn't natural. I mean that it is natural as process but not natural regarding the survival. And a natural process isn't always a positive process. Just some thoughts of me...
As for our appearance it is more complicated. I see ladies in their 50 who have a very good appearance and young girls in their 30 who haven't. I think that it is more an attitude. Our psychology plays a huge role.
-
Hi Emerald, I have the same thoughts as you. I think that evolution and a longer life expectancy hasn't served women very well. If only we didn't have to lose everything when we lose our fertility. To suddenly find ourselves with so many physical problems as well as low mood and anxiety when we may have another 30 years or more to live is really awful.
My youngest child is at high school, I have a demanding job, a mortgage to pay, and a body to keep fit and healthy. I can't suddenly tell the world that I can no longer function! I'm totally reliant on HRT, antidepressants and testosterone. I have to think positively though, because I spent 6 months telling myself that I wasn't designed to live beyond 48 and so I was suicidal. The only reason I'm still here is because I have a husband and children- it's for them just as much for myself that I take all these hormones and antidepressants.
-
Hi Emerald, I have the same thoughts as you. I think that evolution and a longer life expectancy hasn't served women very well. If only we didn't have to lose everything when we lose our fertility. To suddenly find ourselves with so many physical problems as well as low mood and anxiety when we may have another 30 years or more to live is really awful.
My youngest child is at high school, I have a demanding job, a mortgage to pay, and a body to keep fit and healthy. I can't suddenly tell the world that I can no longer function! I'm totally reliant on HRT, antidepressants and testosterone. I have to think positively though, because I spent 6 months telling myself that I wasn't designed to live beyond 48 and so I was suicidal. The only reason I'm still here is because I have a husband and children- it's for them just as much for myself that I take all these hormones and antidepressants.
Oh I had a similar conversation with a friend today Wilks. She said how unfair this whole menopause thing is for us women. She was at the peak of her career and bam menopause hit her in the face. She said that she would stand in broad meetings drenched in sweat. She couldn't just tell her boss “Can I press pause for a moment until I pull myself together?â€.
There are so many symptoms/variables in this menopause bizzo...failing looks being one of them. Menopause sucks!
-
I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..
-
Before I started hrt, I found a website that said there were “loads of lifestyle changes you could make to improve thingsâ€. Great, fantastic! I thought.....
.... I read on, and it said “drink less alcohol, stop smoking, do plenty of exercise and eat healthilyâ€. But I have never smoked, and have always done sports, eaten healthily, and I don't drink much (2 or 3 glasses of red wine a week at most). I was so angry when I read that ;D
-
I was talking to an old boyfriend from nearly 20 years ago yesterday and he says I look better now. I didn't ask him, he just said it!
-
I am a cross fit athlete and I have an absolutely healthy diet and lifestyle.
When I read such things I am so angry too! It sounds like it is our responsibility to handle meno with a natural way.
For me there is no natural way. It is just the lack of estrogen that causes all these awful symptoms.
I read somewhere that menopause is a choice, meaning that with hrt we have no menopause. I find that interesting!
I hope that in future will handle menopause the same way we handle diabetes and other hormonal deficiencies.
-
I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..
Another single, childless 43 year old here! And there is nothing wrong with either of us except the menopause! Some people just get it worse than others. If two people develop an illness and one recovers fast and the other one is seriously ill, you don't blame the second person - you just accept they got hit harder by the illness. So we shouldn't be blaming ourselves because other people our age seem to cope better.
Also, I think that while in some ways it is easier to go through this single (you don't have to worry about looking after children or trying to 'keep it together' when you are home because no one is around to see you) it can make you feel a bit isolated, especially if you don't have the energy to go out as you don't see anyone outside work!
-
I can absolutely relate. I am single and childless and 43 years old.
I cannot imagine myself to suffer the next years. I have a highly demanding career too and I am absolutely depended on hrt. I am not on testosterone cause my endocrinologist said that I don't need it yet but I am convinced that I will take everything to feel good again. Hrt made a huge difference for me and gave my life back.
My mum had her meno at 47 and was on Tibolone for many years. She said that meno wasn't a big deal for her and she had no symptoms at all. She looks 10 years younger and full of life! She is 67 now.
I really don't understand what is wrong with me really! I have a friend who is 46 years, she had her meno a year ago, no hrt, no symptoms, she is healthy and looks great. What the hell is going wrong with me?..
I too am thinking the same thing Emerald2017...what the hell is going wrong with me? This same friend of mine said she refused to take HRT. She wanted to do the whole menopause thing naturally. I was like, “Well if she can run a company on natural supplements and I can't even operate the vaccum cleaner without crying and I am on HRT...what the hell is going wrong with me?â€.
-
Wilks, Emerald2017 and Dorothy we are all similar in age. Most women I know who are going through menopause are in their 50s. I think I am struggling with this because I feel cheated. I am a decade too early for all this.
-
I was talking to an old boyfriend from nearly 20 years ago yesterday and he says I look better now. I didn't ask him, he just said it!
That's reassuring considering he just said it. Take it from him that you do look fabulous now just as you are.
-
THE SAME!!! ;D. My mum take care of me! She cooks for me, she spends hours with me and I just work and go to gym.
I felt like a failure last year and I think that my bad psychology made things worse. I try not to compare myself with others and to think with a positive way.
My biggest fear was about premature aging and diseases but with time I feel that it is not so simple.
Thanks for replying Bella! 💐
-
I'm 61 now Mrs Bella had a surgical menopause at 42 had hrt for about 5 years then taken off aged 50 ish can't remember lol.the next few years were hell I've only been back on it around 6 months and already I have my glow back,I've had to battle tooth and nail for this though,I look better now than I did in my 40s I don't care if it's vain I work hard at it and I'm contented with my looks at my age.🎼as the song says “ I'm sexy and I know it “ :rofl:
-
Hi again Bella! The fact that they have their meno at 50s doesn't mean that they look younger or we will age faster. I guess that it is our biggest mistake and makes us feel cheated! It isn't true!
-
Well both my Grans lived into the 80s. My Mum is 91.5. M in L got to 85. No HRT for them! They had/have lovely skin. All remained active until 1 dropped dead, the other developed cancer of the bile duct and was dead in 4/5 weeks - both natural causes. My Mum is still up and at it ::)
Menopause is natural. It isn't 'there' for any particular reason other than that child bearing is done. After all, older women don't need to have children as they have probably reproduced, raised their young and sent them on their way. In theory. Have a look at African and the Amazonian cultures ........ the Matriarch has done her job and now she looks after the grandchildren and over-sees the Tribe. Everyone there has a Role to play because they live in matriarchal societies, something that we in the UK have lost. More common in Italy and Greece still.
My Grans didn't lose their looks either. They didn't wear make-up. They used fresh water from the guttering drained through a stocking and boiled ::). They ate fresh fruits and veg., walked a lot more from a very early age than we do, even in the last 10-12 years . Got up at dawn and went to bed at dusk to save candles. I do wonder how they coped with menopause as it wasn't discussed.
-
I was never much of a looker when young and had loads of skin problems. Between 30 and 45 I had fifteen years of being good looking. I took care of my figure, had long, blonde hair and looked gorgeous...however, I thought I was fat and ugly even then!!
Since then and affected by early meno, everything has gone. I have put on two stone, can't dye my hair as I seem to be sensitive to absolutely everything and feel ( as I have posted about before) like I have cheated my long term partner who I met at 42, from a gorgeous, slim young looking person to a fat, grey, wrinkly, miserable old woman!!! Like the film The Shining when Jack Nicholson is snogging a young woman who turns into a hag in front of him.
Every year, I think I will exercise, diet and get something of the old me back. Every year I am a stone heavier and eat all the wrong things. I am so unhappy to lose my looks.
I feel for anyone else struggling with this and those who can cope are very lucky or strong people.
Xxx
-
Luck doesn't come into it. Genes however may well do.
Hezzalady - what Plans have you and your partner to exercise more and choose healthy food options occasionally? I am going to exercise more every day, apart from gardening I don't ........ we had a dog and I walked miles until 2012, now I simply can't be bothered unless we are on holiday. I kid myself that gardening helps a bit :-\
-
Hello ladies,
I hope I haven't offended anyone.
Menopause is a new thing Evolution wise. Women used to be pregnant or breastfeeding during their reproductive years and die before reaching menopause, and that also means no monthly periods. So it's not just menopause that's a new thing, the whole hormonal fluctuation is a new thing, sociobiologically speaking.
I wasn't happy with my periods, cramps, swollen boobs and mood swings. Ok, oestrogen gives you shiny hair, elastic skin and libido but somehow that was not enough to make me feel good. I wished for menopause! Of course now I know that menopause is not just the end of periods. Perimenopause is scary for many women and I'm one of them.
If you feel good taking oestrogen, then go for it! I can't take it because I have blood problems and migraines. So I'm going to rely on Evolution and alternative treatments to help me through this phase. And I trust that this is just it, a phase that will pass. I have gone through hell during peri and now I can see a light shining somewhere. I guess the roller coaster is almost gone. That doesn't mean I will get ‘my life back' as in my 30's. That's never going to happen and that's fine. I like myself better now. Even if my looks are not as good as before. I'm sure I can look better if I try harder, more physical activity, a healthier diet, beauty products and mental hygiene. Oestrogen is a helpful fix for many symptoms but there's more than symptoms if you look at the big picture of growing old.
Conolly X
-
Not many people get offended and each family is different as you will see on here.
I think that women in certain social situations would have baby after baby because there was no choice. Some would die in child-birth. Others during abortions. Many B4 they reached their mid-40s. Others would have the vapours which was probably hormonally caused. They would take to their beds ..........
Others, like my Grans., both working class, would be OK.
I thought that the end of periods would be 'it', perhaps a few hot flushes but anything else was completely new!
-
I'm 61 now Mrs Bella had a surgical menopause at 42 had hrt for about 5 years then taken off aged 50 ish can't remember lol.the next few years were hell I've only been back on it around 6 months and already I have my glow back,I've had to battle tooth and nail for this though,I look better now than I did in my 40s I don't care if it's vain I work hard at it and I'm contented with my looks at my age.🎼as the song says “ I'm sexy and I know it “ :rofl:
Oh Daisydot you're an inspiration!
I am glad you have got your mojo back. I love your attitude!
I have a friend in her late 50s. She is so much fun to be around that it's infectious. She has this saying that always makes me smile. I shall put it in context: She went to a party recently. She said she had a few wines, caught up with friends and even had a boogie on the dance floor... then she said, “Bella, I was lovin' myself sickâ€.
I hope my friend and yourself never lose that spunk about you. That's what keeps us all young regardless of our looks and/or age.
So Daisydot may you always “love yourself sickâ€. X
-
That's a great approach, Daisydot and Mrs. Bella. Smile is the new sexy 8)
-
Lol thanks so much Mrs B I'm a very happy grounded “vain†person I'd rather go out with no knickers than dark roots in my hair although these days I'm battling to disguise the “white†hair as we call it.I don't care that I'm rounded now I've tried and can't change that as CLKD says it's in my genes anyway and my mum was a wee babe to me.age is just a number and I reverse mines these days lol xx
-
Luck doesn't come into it. Genes however may well do.
Hezzalady - what Plans have you and your partner to exercise more and choose healthy food options occasionally? I am going to exercise more every day, apart from gardening I don't ........ we had a dog and I walked miles until 2012, now I simply can't be bothered unless we are on holiday. I kid myself that gardening helps a bit :-\
That's the stupid thing...we go walking. I can walk fifteen miles comfortably. More, if I pushed myself. I can walk up the hills and mountains. But I am still two stone heavier and feel fat and ugly.
Yes, I do eat the wrong things at times and am a dreadful emotional eater. But generally have a balanced diet.
I should be grateful to have fitness.
-
Not many people get offended and each family is different as you will see on here.
I think that women in certain social situations would have baby after baby because there was no choice. Some would die in child-birth. Others during abortions. Many B4 they reached their mid-40s. Others would have the vapours which was probably hormonally caused. They would take to their beds ..........
Others, like my Grans., both working class, would be OK.
Sorry, I was talking about Evolution as back in pre-historical times, not about our Grannies 😂
-
We don't have any records of that far back though Conolly :-\. People probably got ate up by something ::).
-
Some have certainly survived or we wouldn't be here, right? 😏
-
How are or have you ladies coped with losing your looks and maybe no longer turning heads in the way you used to too? I wouldn't say I feel invisible yet but going out definitely takes longer and more effort. Also my assets look good with a push up bra so that helps draw attention ;) lol but this getting old thing really isnt easy but suppose I should stop being an old grump trying to look 10 years younger and pass the baton on to the next generation of young pretty things.
Hellooooo we seem to have lost you in all of this chit chat.
Hinari hot flush are you still reading the responses to your post? Are they resonating with you? Are they of help to you?
-
That's a great approach, Daisydot and Mrs. Bella. Smile is the new sexy 8)
Conolly I am going to add that to my list of sayings. I like it!
I am going to love myself sick and smile constantly now ... I am going to radiate sexiness 💃🏼
-
That's a great approach, Daisydot and Mrs. Bella. Smile is the new sexy 8)
Conolly I am going to add that to my list of sayings. I like it!
I am going to love myself sick and smile constantly now ... I am going to radiate sexiness 💃🏼
👏🏻👏🏻 😎 😁🤩
-
Hi again Bella! The fact that they have their meno at 50s doesn't mean that they look younger or we will age faster. I guess that it is our biggest mistake and makes us feel cheated! It isn't true!
Yes, you're right. I feel cheated in the fact that I am having/had all these symptoms when I should be living it up at 42 ... not lining up for HRT tablets instead. My eldest son is doing his exams at the moment and I am a bit of a mess because of lack of sleep. I wish I was more present for him. Surely Mrs Menopause could have waited a few more years until my kids leave home. Does that make sense to you Emerald2017? I hope so as I am not feeling very eloquent in my current sleep deprived state.
-
When you accidentally have your phone camera on selfie mode and catch yourself unawares. Yikes !!!!
I don't like the changes either but the becoming invisible part is a positive to me! We moved to the countryside a year ago and everyone wants to know your business and wants to pass it on to other people - even trivial things like a slight change of hair colour - and I hate it. So the less people notice me, the happier I am - it's a silver lining as far as I'm concerned :-)
-
Just wanted to pop back and say thank you ladies. Something in the first post resonated so strongly and I had a bit of a meltdown, but reading what you all say is really comforting, mostly because it tackles that 'what's wrong with me' feeling.
Best wishes.
-
Thank you for this post. I am 54. Never been a beauty but turned a few heads and had a very good figure which was easy to keep.
The past few years I simply do not recognise myself. I literally cringe when I look in the mirror. I only have around 10lb I would like to lose and am pretty careful and walk miles each day with my dogs - but it won't shift and for the first time ever my stomach is bigger than my boobs - and I had decent boobs!
I live in drab, dark clothes and want to hide away. This is a million miles away from who I used to be. My friends of the same age seem to be on Facebook daily looking bright, sexy and cheerful. Whereas I have just given up. How my husband puts up with me I just don't know.
I suffer dreadful hot sweats so seem to spend half my life soaking wet and red faced. I also think for the first time in my life I am suffering from depression.
Other than that oh and a bit of urine incontinence, lol - all is good!
-
Well, you can still locate your sense of humour, that's a plus.
It's that feeling of distance though ... once I was this person ... now I'm??? For me, it's like looking at myself through a long lens, as if I'm really far away.
I was talking to a couple of colleagues at work today though, a meeting finished early and we had a catch up. They're both bright, sexy and cheerful. Turns out we have loads in common. I guess they're just good at putting their game face on. And Facebook is a terrible barometer, some people are quite keen to prove stuff to themselves by appearing a certain way. If anyone read my FB page, then they'd think I was made.
Husbands, aye, I feel like I'm letting mine down. We sat up until 3am on Saturday, drinking whiskey no less. We haven't done that in forever. He was saying that I'm so caught up in myself, I don't listen to him anymore. So I listened. Every part of me kept wanting to jump in, because what he was saying seemed so unfair, but then he was crying, and I realised how lonely he was, that he did still want me, and he thought I didn't want him. Maybe I'm not the booby prize he got by accident, I could be the woman he loves.
Oh dear, I have this wonderful way of over sharing. Sorry about that.
-
Hi Elk, I don't think you're over-sharing, it's really touching to hear what your husband said. I also feel I'm letting mine down. I was so upset about lumping him with someone he didn't marry, someone tired, depressed, ugly, suicidal, even.
A few times I suggested that he should leave me because I felt like a burden and a waste of space, but he stuck with me!
-
Wonderful posts, ladies. Sharing is really helpful for everyone, so thank you for this!
Conolly X
-
Elkwarning, I think my husband would say the same. But your words about your husband also made me want to cry too. It's so hard isn't it. Feel free to over share to me anytime.
Wilks - you have pretty much summed me up and again I can't believe I have turned into that person.
Big hugs to you both xx
-
That is so nice elkwarning,I wish my husband had said nice things to me when we were together,instead of saying don't put ur hair up ur nose looks big,or slagging me off to my mum when I was having a panic attack and crawling across the floor,sobbing my eyes out. And when my dad was dying and we were in Majorca,wanting me to travel back on my own and leave him and the kids there.he did come home with me but was horrible all the way home.then instead of saying I will come with u to the hospital which was an hour away,he went to bed. I never forgave him for those things.its no wonder I have low self esteem
Lisa x
-
Ye gods, that sounds horrible, Lisa. Are you still with him?
-
I think because of all the changes we go through as women, the dreaded
periods every month, and all what entails with them, then this awful menopause,
which is the worst thing ever to happen to most of us ladies, which half of it most of
Us had no education about, I think some of us can get caught up in ourselves.
No wonder, with what happens to us, depression, anxiety, palpitations,
Sweats, headaches,fatigue, to name just a few, then we've got the age, getting older
thing we have to deal with. We just don't feel the same as we did when we were in our 20s.
But to our husbands, we are still the same. We are still the same girl/woman who they fell
in love with, but we get lost in this sea of change.
Do they understand? I think they do to a certain degree, ( well I like to think so)
maybe, we should give our OHs more credit than we do. Try to pay them a little bit more attention
than we do, but how when we're feeling like shit, hard isn't it?
That's when they're understanding comes into play.
Jd x
-
Lovely post Jd.straight from the heart :bighug:
-
Lisa he's a thoughtless git :bighug:
-
Daisy, I've been lurking here about six months and your posts always seem to hit the mark.
OH's are all different, some cope with it better than others, I suppose, but I only have mine to go by as there's not a lot of talk amongst them, which I think doesn't help.
-
ElkWarning don't hate me but my husband is none of the above he researches with me,he's my guinea pig ,he cuddles me just when I need it without saying a word,he supports me in every aspect of life and I truly adore him,he's my best friend and has been for 43 years now.He encourages me to post on the forum and giggles with me when I'm naughty.I so wish I could wave that wand and give some of these selfish guys and ounce of his compassion because you ladies certainly all deserve it.xx
-
Lisa,
You're bloke sounds just like my brother!
Sounds like they're brothers, the things he's said to his girlfriends over the years
is unbelievable, what you said about him going to bed instead of going to hospital
with you, is exactly what he would have done, the girlfriends he's had, well, I've lost count.
No wonder he's on his own, no one would or has stayed with him, he's in his 60s now,
and just got another girlfriend, poor cow, wonder how long this one will stay for.
I hasn't to add, I haven't spoke nor seen him for about 4years now, But I know he'll probably
be a lonely old man....where he gets it from is beyond me, my dad wasn't like that, totally the
opposite.... sad really.
Jd x
-
Daisydot, my OH is just like yours.
He's flipping great.
34 years we've been together, no splits, no arguments, (no really)
Don't know what I'd do without him..
Jd x
-
Wonderful posts, ladies. Sharing is really helpful for everyone, so thank you for this!
Conolly X
I agree Conolly!
I read these posts and I don't feel so alone in my struggles. Some of the things said make me feel sad: sad for the person. If I could I would give them a giant bear hug. Other things said make me laugh: some of the posts/ladies have a fabulous sense of humour. And rest of the posts inspire me. So thank you ladies for sharing! X
-
Sorry ladies ive just caught up with all your replies and its shown me what a wonderful supportive community I have joined where nothing is off limits.
My mans been great really supportive and knows sometimes I need some me time to cool down and feel better. Also he isnt as young and slim as he used to be. The beer bellies taken over ;) not that I can talk as someone else said the bellies trying to out do my boobs and my belly is perkier ;)
But joking aside thanks for sharing in the topic you fabulous ladies xx
-
Sorry ladies ive just caught up with all your replies and its shown me what a wonderful supportive community I have joined where nothing is off limits.
My mans been great really supportive and knows sometimes I need some me time to cool down and feel better. Also he isnt as young and slim as he used to be. The beer bellies taken over ;) not that I can talk as someone else said the bellies trying to out do my boobs and my belly is perkier ;)
But joking aside thanks for sharing in the topic you fabulous ladies xx
Glad you are back!
I think a lot of people have benefited from your post. So please keep posting!
-
Sorry ladies ive just caught up with all your replies and its shown me what a wonderful supportive community I have joined where nothing is off limits.
My mans been great really supportive and knows sometimes I need some me time to cool down and feel better. Also he isnt as young and slim as he used to be. The beer bellies taken over ;) not that I can talk as someone else said the bellies trying to out do my boobs and my belly is perkier ;)
But joking aside thanks for sharing in the topic you fabulous ladies xx
Glad you are back!
I think a lot of people have benefited from your post. So please keep posting!
Thanks that means a lot
-
I don't mind in the least moving over for the younger women, I've had my moment in the sun! All I want is to be through the menopause, recover from CFS and have my health back and to feel vital and energetic again. Its that energy that keeps you young and vibrant. Having said that, if someone could wave a magic wand and make my old lady arms look youthful again, I wouldn't turn it down!
-
But from what I understand of the menopause, the hot flushes and mood swings will pass, but all the other problems remain (unless you take HRT). And that's the thing that's bothering a lot of us- I don't care about grey hair and lines on my face but I do care about losing my energy and vitality.
-
I don't worry about losing my looks, I've found the whole body changing over the last 68 years have found it fascinating. I think it's not what you look like, it's what you feel within. I have my hair done in a good hairdressers and not scared to experiment. I buy clothes from Next, M&S and Wallis, but not always the granny stuff. I think that if you dress nice, that gives up an uplift and makes you feel happy. Never look at the young girls and the way they look, our ovaries have done their job, there's have only just started. I look at my arms and find they have thousands of little creases in them, so what it doesn't bother me, people only look at the face and what you wear so concentrate on these. Also, I've been on the Internet on how to apply make up for the older woman, as I don't wear make up much now I've retired. My daughter has always laughed at my wrinkles and I've said that she needs to take note of what I look like as her body will do the same. When the ovaries no longer work don't panic over it, move onto the next stage in life. Look nice, not glamorous, nice modern haircut (plenty of websites for hairstyles for the older woman), learn to use the eyes, and don't worry about not sleeping a lot, time is on your side, staying up,late is for the young girls and they are only doing what we used to do. Don't panic and smile a lot :-*
-
I don't mind in the least moving over for the younger women, I've had my moment in the sun! All I want is to be through the menopause, recover from CFS and have my health back and to feel vital and energetic again. Its that energy that keeps you young and vibrant. Having said that, if someone could wave a magic wand and make my old lady arms look youthful again, I wouldn't turn it down!
Your right having your health really is the main thing.
Ha ha my arms have got a bit bingo wingy over the last few years as well
-
Couldn't agree more, moe 68.
I shop in the same shops as you, and I know I can't wear what the younguns
do, so I dress for me, what suites me, what I like, anyway, all the fashion that's
about now was about when we were younger, it's come around again.
Smile, and be confidante, that's the key.
Jd x
-
Why would symptoms remain. This too is a journey. I haven't had problems like some of you have suffered but any symptoms I had earlier on, have gone. I don't remember my MinL or Mum suffering either, it was something they got through ...... Grannies the same.
-
CLKD- many symptoms remain because once your oestrogen is gone, it’s gone! So unless everything is kept reasonably under control with HRT, all the problems associated with loss of oestrogen (like VA, joint pains, risk of osteoporosis, dry, itchy skin, etc) stay with us for the rest of our lives.
So in many ways the menopause isn’t so much something you “go through and come out the other side”, but a permanent change.
-
"CLKD- many symptoms remain because once your oestrogen is gone, it's gone! So unless everything is kept reasonably under control with HRT, all the problems associated with loss of oestrogen (like VA, joint pains, risk of osteoporosis, dry, itchy skin, etc) stay with us for the rest of our lives'
So in many ways the menopause isn't so much something you “go through and come out the other sideâ€, but a permanent change"
Sorry have to disagree with this Wilks, not everyone needs HRT ( those who have complete hysterectomies probably do need it if suitable) to keep the above at bay, the body continues to make estrogen or estrone from body fat and adrenal glands and for a lot of women this is enough to not suffer from above mentioned. At least 50 percent of women don't suffer from dry itchy skin , VA or osteoporosis, my self included. The ovaries continue trickling out hormone post menopause and for some women its enough to keep their body and looks, along with a healthy lifestyle, attitude etc.
-
tika- I’m sorry if my comment was unclear. I am certainly not suggesting that every woman needs HRT. What I’m saying is that for those women who DO have troublesome symptoms, such as those I listed, they don’t disappear magically once you have “gone through” menopause.
I’m happy for you that you don’t have those problems, but you only have to spend 15 minutes looking at this forum to see that many women do. Look at the “burning club” thread- there are women who have to use various products to manage VA and that’s for life, it’s not a transient thing like hot flushes.
So, once your oestrogen is gone, it’s gone! If you’re fortunate enough that you’re still producing oestrogen way beyond menopause, fabulous, and I agree you don’t need HRT.
-
Its useful to know that the symptoms talked about above can occur in many well before menopause in their fertile years and have their full quota of hormones!
Medication such as antihistamines, ADs etc can cause internal dryness, many drugs cause itching of the skin. Dryness of the vagina can be caused by taking birth control, aching joints occur at any age, and not every woman who does not use HRT is doomed to get osteoporosis.
I am well aware that many women on this forum suffer from VA and need continual treatment hormonal or otherwise, I wanted just to point out that this was not the norm for every woman, and not every woman needs or wants to take HRT.
I was not being smug ( I have noticed that on this forum women who say they have had relatively easy menopause are seen as smug or deluding themselves but of cause they are happy for them...) or thinking myself fabulous! just stating a truth.
It does put you off posting.
-
Each Journey is different. One shouldn't judge others by their own experiences though it is nice to have experiences shared. As I have said, my Grans lived to the ages of 80+ years, had lovely skin and didn't take HRT. It simply wasn't available. My Mum now 91 has not taken HRT nor did my late MinL - she lived until her mid 80s. I haven't needed HRT apart from treatment for vaginal atrophy.
Some ladies find that if they stop taking HRT to see where they are, that symptoms have either gone or are still troublesome enough to warrant a return to HRT.
But the process does work itself out in most cases. Hopefully for those that require on-going treatments, the GP won't say 'no' after a certain age!
-
I've got the arms issue! It started when peri peaked a couple of years ago where I can see cellulite now and I look more chunky in strappy tops. Prior to that I only had it on my thighs and bum and never put weight on above my waist. My face looks a bit younger, possibly due to surging oestrogen, than a few years ago as haven't changed my moisturiser. It's the only good thing about the high oestrogen right now! Gone up 2 breast sizes too.
My older friends who've been through meno are split into half that didn't notice much then or now and those who'd suffered terribly in peri but who said they feel the best they've ever felt post meno. They didn't take HRT as it wasn't advised as much 5-10 years ago.
I don't know anyone who's had VA (didn't know what it was until read about it here!) but maybe not something people talk so much about!
-
4 me VA was like razor blades up there :o >:( localised HRT did the trick ;) - not 2B confused with other forms of HRT.
-
I let my hair go grey about 4 years ago, due to the CFS/ME and love the freedom of not having to go to the hairdresser every month to get those roots covered over. Still get my hair cut every 8 weeks, but its a lot cheaper now! As I've reluctantly had to give up work (hoping to go back part-time one day), I look like an old bag lady most days. And I remember in my teens, if I didn't have any make up on (rare!)not opening the front door if no one else was in to get it. Its lovely not giving a stuff anymore, but not sure this is just due to the menopause/current illness, probably a natural scruff as I've got older. Still make the effort if I occasionally do something social, but hate putting make up on and having to blow dry my hair, but not completely given in to my old bag lady tendencies, give it a few years. Just have to hide those arms!
-
Just had a thought though... that my skin may look younger because my eyesight's got worse. 8)
-
Hi knorman
I know what you mean, tops of my arms are the same, it looks like there's
cellulite coming at the top, and when I bend down to pick something up, if a catch a glance
I can see wrinkles starting to come. I hate it, I'm now not liking my little vest tops that I wear in
the summer, every time I put one on I take it off and put a t-shirt on instead , which the
sleeves don't cover it all up , but does look a bit better, or I wear a cardigan.
I use to go to the gym and lift weights and was quite firm, not muscles, but defined, and now
the tops of my arms and legs are wobbly. :-\
I still put make up on everyday, and I have no choice but to blow dry my hair every morning,
because when I get up, it looks like a mop.! Lol but I think, if I was to give that up , well,
I might as well lie down n die....lol... I'm a firm believer in ‘never give up'.
Jd x
-
:rofl: Nice one, dangermouse.
jd, I do arm exercises (some with weights) while waiting for my HRT gels to dry. Arms still look skinny and wrinkled though, I only do it to pass the time. I'd be better off standing there reading a book >:(
JP x
-
Jp, hahaha, I have got two bottles water in my bedroom
that I used to swing about, but one day my OH walked in and I nearly
knocked him out.. :rofl:
I fell about laffing....lol
I must add, I didn't see him walk in, i didn't do it on purpose.. ;D
Ever since then I haven't touched em...
Jd x
-
The more I read the more I'm convinced that we absolutely need our estrogen longterm. It is not just for helping to maintain our looks but for our longterm health.
I don't think that our bodies can survive for long after meno and we don't produce estradiol after meno, only estriol due to body fat we gain.
Actually as our looks I think that age mainly affects us and not only meno.
-
I've got the arms issue! It started when peri peaked a couple of years ago where I can see cellulite now and I look more chunky in strappy tops. Prior to that I only had it on my thighs and bum and never put weight on above my waist. My face looks a bit younger, possibly due to surging oestrogen, than a few years ago as haven't changed my moisturiser. It's the only good thing about the high oestrogen right now! Gone up 2 breast sizes too.
My older friends who've been through meno are split into half that didn't notice much then or now and those who'd suffered terribly in peri but who said they feel the best they've ever felt post meno. They didn't take HRT as it wasn't advised as much 5-10 years ago.
I don't know anyone who's had VA (didn't know what it was until read about it here!) but maybe not something people talk so much about!
Think the arms happens to the best of us. I know women who work out and have flabby arms. Good for you still wearing a strappy top I call them essential in this weather with the hot flushes and I wish I had a young glow about my skin.
How are you coping with the bigger boobs as Ive had that too takes a bit of getting used to at first?
I think VA is kept on the downlow. Ive not got it but its the old saying if you dont use it you loose it. I still enjoy me time if you know what I mean ;)
-
Haha! I like the water bottle story Jillydoll. ;D
I went from D cup to F cup when they measured me in Debenhams and the lady guided me to the special area for bigger busts :o
I used to get away with no bra before in holiday tops but can’t now so yes prefer a bit smaller.
My oestrogen is definitely nowhere near low so it must be ageing in terms of collagen slackening and weight gain starts in puberty when hormones are all high. Men also have the same but when they get older as their skin is thicker.
-
Emerald - don't worry too much, my female family and in-Laws are all long lived, that is, into their late 80s early 90s ;). Grandads however, died young.
-
Thank you CLKD! 💐
-
I went from D cup to F cup when they measured me in Debenhams and the lady guided me to the special area for bigger busts :o
I used to get away with no bra before in holiday tops but can't now so yes prefer a bit smaller.
My oestrogen is definitely nowhere near low so it must be ageing in terms of collagen slackening and weight gain starts in puberty when hormones are all high. Men also have the same but when they get older as their skin is thicker.
Tell me about its like entering a new foreign land the first visit to the big bra section!! And you dont realise youve grew so much.
Ive not went braless for years been failing the pencil test since i was 18.
Collagen slacking and gravity taking its hold is a big pain.
Sorry do you mean youve gained weight too?
-
I lost 2 stone really quickly 2 years ago (within a couple of months) as nausea was so bad. I went to just over 8 stone.
I then ate myself back up to 10 stone and now I’m nearer 11 stone because I’ve struggled to lose weight even with very low calorie (which obviously worked before!). I think my metabolism was affected by the fast weight loss and it’s taking time to recover. I can eat 900 calories and have put another pound on - been using fitbit strictly with 500 cal deficit per day and calories in vs calories out is not working for me!
I’m trying to eat more to heal metabolism and cutting starch right now so having lots of sat fats, protein and fruit. Apparently the combo of fat and sugar will get the furnace burning!
Anyway, long answer (sorry!) so yes have put on weight but bust had got bigger in last 5 years which I suspect is high oestrogen related for me.
-
Exercise is the best way to boost your metabolism :)
-
jillydoll, I have been struggling with the heat as I don't want to wear tops without sleeves (I think I also have extra loose skin from losing weight) and all my lovely summer dresses without sleeves. However, I think I have reached the 'sod it' stage, I can't not ever wear a sleeveless top, or pretty dress when its warm because of what other people think. I will just have to keep my arms firmly by my side, the outsides still look very toned, which is weird. Or rely on dangermouse's theory re: eyesight, good one!
-
Do you think people are looking at you all the while ;) and do you really bother about what others might think?
I no longer worry. What you C is what you get ;). The small dog that made a real fuss on of me earlier didn't seem to mind, the birds at my feet for meal worms right n ow, don't seem to mind ..........
-
Exercise is the best way to boost your metabolism :)
.... and specifically increasing muscle - so any exercise which develops these eg Fitness Pilates, body conditioning, and any weights, cycling (leg muscles), toning exercises etc. Same muscle mass vs fat burns more calories at rest and you look better too so win-win situation.
jillydoll, I have been struggling with the heat as I don't want to wear tops without sleeves (I think I also have extra loose skin from losing weight) and all my lovely summer dresses without sleeves. However, I think I have reached the 'sod it' stage, I can't not ever wear a sleeveless top, or pretty dress when its warm because of what other people think. I will just have to keep my arms firmly by my side, the outsides still look very toned, which is weird. Or rely on dangermouse's theory re: eyesight, good one!
That is classic the eyesight thing! I've been thinking the last few years how well I'm wearing - but on the few times I look in the mirror with my (reading) glasses on (properly - not counting peering in close to pluck lip hair) - I am horrified and wonder where all those wrinkles came from!!! Most of the time in between I forget about them and see this "youngish" looking face ::) so I am blissfully unaware of the old hag - and I don't care anyway!
As for the arms - quite - exactly - sod it! I think one always needs to make the best of oneself at any age - but you can't turn back the clock unless you want to go for artifice and cosmetic surgery - which is a sad reflection of society's obsession with youth = beauty. Each stage of ageing does seem to go through a period of denial, hatred of one's looks but then acceptance - once you've got over the first two - you can get on with enjoying yourself and feeling confident about yourself - until the next stage comes along. At the moment I'm in an acceptance stage - the recent (inner) arm thing took me by surprise though - but like you - I wear sleevelss/strappy tops all the time in the heat and love the sun - so think brown wrinkles are better than white ones ::) Just keep doing the exercises and concentrate on looking and feeling healthy and fabulous, wrinkles and all!!!
Hurdity x :sunny:
-
Bless him, my OH still sees the young girl he married 30 years ago - I just wish I could catch a glimpse of her occasionally!
We should start celebrating age a la Helen Mirren, refuse to give in to frumpy clothes and go in to Topshop loud and proud!
-
Words of wisdom as usual Hurdity. thank you! Did anyone watch Nothing like a Dame with Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Eileen Atkins and Joan Plowright? They all looked wonderful, possibly primped professionally before they went on camera (!), but the main point is, they were warm, funny, witty and wise. Brilliant programme.
-
Who kicked you out the bed so early this morning knorman lol.forget about the saggy parts and focus on that rock solid heart you have.
All fantastic confident ladies you mention there but I'll bet you they moan about their saggy bits too lol.
Short sightedness is the only “ gift†that menopause gives us I reckon ;D xx
-
Judi Dench has had a cosmetic surgery as have many other older actresses and they look great, what on earth is wrong with wanting to look as good as they can in their Professions. If you look good you will feel good and it will come across to everyone.
http://scplasticsurgery.blogspot.com/2013/04/judi-dench-plastic-surgery-before-and.html
I am all for looking after your Looks its a healthy attitude to have however you choose to do it.
-
Dont know about anyone else but the hot flushes is one reason i personally look on here.
Cant blame the celebs if i had the money the wrinkles would be ironed out, belly shrink and the boobs perked. Might even get my bum done ;)
-
I'm growing my long henna'ed hair out at the moment. It is still very thick, even 3 years after my surgical meno. and virtually no HRT. It is almost white, but I've been greying since my 20's just like my Mum and Grandmother. I don't mind - there are some beautiful ladies out there with luscious long grey and white hair and I mean to take good care of and accent mine with the White Hot Hair products. Maybe the odd mermaid streak of colour for fun days....which I hope will come. 😊 xxxx
-
Noooo, I didn't know Judi Dench had had cosmetic surgery?! Gutted. Daisydot, just one of those nights...again! I'm sure if we all slept well, we wouldn't have so many wrinkles! x
-
Tempest, your hair sounds beautiful. I grew mine out about 4 years ago and the women that make me do a double take are the ones with the beautiful silver white hair. We're fortunate that it seems to have become quite fashionable the last few years to have hair this colour, so we've chosen a good time to do it. So many young girls who have coloured their hair silver/grey recently and they look lovely. However, part of me thinks, you have time for that later, just enjoy your natural hair colour whilst you still have it! I've always wanted blue hair, but never been brave enough, maybe I'll try the mermaid streaks!
-
Morning knorman good to see you posting hope your well missed you.Im one of theses “ young girls†who refuse the white look I'm afraid lol.Im so vain I'll never grow old gracefully my hair my eyes and my figure used to be my world,shallow I know lol,now I look like I should be an extra in teletubbies with scabby looking eyes with no bloody eyelashes,the only saving grace I have left is my hair and thankfully I have the skills to preserve that for as long as I can,I need that it's what keeps me feeling feminine.Ill bet you ladies all look beautiful with your white hair so enjoy it if that's what makes you happy,me I'll resort to that bleach bottle for as long as I can lol.xx
-
This last year has brought some real changes for me - I've also lightened my hair for the first time as I'm 95% white and I've been dying it almost black for 20 odd years ;D I'm too scared to go completely white just yet so I'm staying a dark ash blonde for now.
I had my face dermaplaned last week and that has worked wonders for my complexion. I'm using lots of products with hyaluronic acid in - it helps the skin hold onto moisture and plumps it.
I really need to get fitter but with a full time job and two young kiddies I have no time to go to the gym or anything.
I need a treadmill so i can exercise when the kids are in bed as I can't go out !!
But first I need some energy ::)
-
You need rest geminizb with two youngsters you'll be a lot fitter than you give yourself credit for lol.you do what makes you happy with your hair situation it's up to each individual. You can hire treadmills you know have a google xx
-
I've been wondering what could be worse than that and I came up with a lot of scary possibilities.
Better lose your looks than your hope, your sanity, your friends, your compassion, your genetic cell control mechanisms, ie cancer, your joie-de-vivre, your ability to jump through the looking glass instead of keeping looking at it.
Great thread.
Conolly X
-
I agree Connolly!
-
I must agree,Connolly,
Losing my sanity, and compassion would be horrendous.
At least I can dress myself up and apply makeup to try n make myself
look better, but what would I be like without my sanity and everything else.
Don't want to think about it, it's far too scary.......
Jd x
-
I think this is a terrific organization, and does so much to lift women's confidence and self esteem who have cancer, throughout the UK
https://www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/
-
Rock climbing, hiking and tinted moisturiser/under eye brightener ;)
I've always been active, but felt I was just starting to look tired all the time. I haven't generally worn makeup unless for a special event, but have found a tiny bit now makes me feel a bit brighter.
Always having some role models who are a bit (or a lot - just seen Sheila Hancock in Edie) older to look up to stops me looking back at what I'm not anymore
-
My mum, who I have always thought very beautiful (think I look more like my dad!) says to enjoy what I still have now. She is 80 and at 57, she still sees a fairly young woman (that short sightedness again!) and strangely, I had been telling my young niece the same, as she is unable to see how lovely she is. Looks do not compensate for ill health, but a bit of glamour and femininity does help us face the outside world with a bit more confidence. I have now started having the odd evening out (I have CFS/ME and evenings out are quite challenging) and most of them its just clean hair and a bit of lippy, the rest just takes too much effort at the moment! Daisydot, keep being a young girl and keep the flag flying, like your style!
-
Yeah knorman.
Totally agree, we just CANNOT give up!
I think if we do, we'll never get out of our own personal black holes,(when they appear)
and we'd stay ‘old' for good.....my moto is, never give up.
My mom, even when she had dementia, and was in hospital, still asked
me to bring her ‘pan stick' in so she could apply it. Lol she never forgot about that.
Bless her. So no, I'll never give up, I'll always strive to make myself look the best
I can....
Jd x also , knorman, good for you, keep it up babe, we have to keep going.....
-
We cant give up ladies im a big fan of getting my hair done and putting on my lippy. Also a good push up bra and spanx helps you look a hell of a lot better and thinner ;)
-
jillydoll, thank you for telling us about your mum, it brought a smile to my face to think of her looking her best. x
-
Thank you knorman.
That's ok...
Jd x
-
If I had all the money in the World every day I would have my hair washed, scalp massaged and once a week, an all-over massage ..... nothing fancy, simply relaxing whilst someone oils away any tension.
I rarely look in the mirror ;)
-
I'm struggling with this too. The visceral fat makes me look very portly, which in turn, makes me feel frumpy. The lines from the corners of mouth down towards my chin give me a permanent miserable scowl so I've had them filled. I've had my eyebrows tattooed into a beautiful shape and that has helped my confidence. I've lost a front tooth too, so look like a crone, but am in the process of getting that seen to. Beige coloured wedges are comfy and lengthen the legs. But this robin redbreast shape is awful.
-
Drooping Jowls :'( :'( :'(
Now double chin :'( :'( :'(
If something was guranteed to fix the drooping Jowls, like fillers, trust me i would,
I hate watching myself age, :o
-
I remember my Mum saying to me that I was too old to wear mini skirts at 30... I`m still wearing them at 55! My legs are still OK so I figure if people are looking at them they aren`t looking at my wrinkly face...and yes I hate the way hair starts sprouting everywhere you don`t want it to. But no I`m not going to grow old gracefully. Mutton dressed as lamb as my Mum would have said, bless her. Going to an 80s party this weekend which involves a flourescent pink tutu, legwarmers and fingerless gloves and a basque. Bring it on! :D
-
I never had the looks back then let alone now. I've got to the point where even being morbidly obese, I've hidden away for too long. I'm never going to be Claudia Schiffer so might as well just get on with things. I only turned heads when they were laughing at me anyway.
-
Today I went to the bank (here in Brazil) and they automatically directed me to the "preferential" queue. ie. for those of a certain age! Not good for one's self-image ;D
-
After withdrawing from a very nasty but fairly brief run in with Venlafaxine over the last week (never again) - I can honestly say that I look like Michael Keaton in 'Beetlejuice'. Just what I need to add to my surgical menopausal 'look' - nice....... :o :'( :-\ xxxx
-
Hello Tempest,
Sorry dear, but at least you didn't lose your good humour ;D 8)
Conolly X
-
Oh bless you, Conolly and Jeanie! Lovely words, Jeanie - thank you! 😃❤❤❤ xxxx
-
You all look absolutely fine from where I'm sitting 8)
-
A couple of days ago I fell over outside onto my face. I know I know.... :o
So now I have a horrible graze/bruise right under my eye that's doing wonders for my looks ;D
And no-one I've seen since has commented!
-
Hello ladies.
I'm still slim ( and short of coursel lol) so from the back and at a distance I can look younger than I am I suppose. However I'm mindful of the 1666 scenario, 16 from the back but 66 from the front! Oh well, it's the young people's turn now, we've had our day.
grumpyjane - your post did make me laugh. We are told that we become invisible at our age but you'd hope someone would've noticed your injury!
Just off to listen to Dr Currie on the Facebook site so maybe see you there.
Take care ladies.
K.
-
As well as the loss of all looks, facial and bodily - hair loss, jowels, thinned lips, lines above top lip, etc etc etc - so bothered by how tired/shattered/dozy I look permanently, dark circles/bags around my eyes like a drug addict, overall so unhealthy looking. The hair loss is the real killer.
Every day looking as if I'm seriously hung over which (sadly) I'm not - as I can't tolerate any alcohol now (fun, not).
Been watching Margaret Manning on Youtube for some inspiration.
Has anybody found an easy to apply foundation that doesn't look caked and uneven ....
-
Yes those bags and dark eye circles really get me down. All those eye products never even begin to work.
-
Hi night owl
Just use a tinted moisturiser.
That's all I use, I hate the ‘caked on' look.
A tinted moisturiser just gives me a glow, instead of looking like
a vampire, makes me look more human.....lol
And yes, I agree CLKD, you all look good to me......
-
As my 12 year old nephew said to me last week, “I was so shocked when I opened the door and it was you. I thought it was a fat, old woman running up the drive.â€
-
Hahaha. :rofl:
Kids have away with words don't they? Lol
It's enough to make us paranoid........lol
-
I'm rethinking his Christmas presents. ::)