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Author Topic: Ready to give up  (Read 2286 times)

Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #30 on: November 10, 2025, 07:57:46 PM »

I am hopeful things will get better as for whatever reason I do feel alot calmer this afternoon.
I have actually enjoyed the food I have eaten today too, which I haven't done for weeks and weeks and have just been eating to give my body energy and not to feel worse than I already was.
I do think the appointment with Gp this morning as well as telling hubby how I am feeling has helped me.

I appreciate all the ladies on here that have taken the time to reply and offer words of support and shared their struggles too as this had also helped me, although I am sorry that other ladies are suffering too and wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I have set myself a goal to go to the gym tomorrow even if its for 30 mins - if I feel panicky I will try and work thru it but will see how I feel tomorrow.

I will then have my 2 dogs to walk later in afternoon so I have to go out then as I won't deprive them of a walk thats why I know this is not depression. When I have suffered depression in the past even walking to the toilet from my bed has been a huge effort! It really does totally and utterly rob you of any kind of joy and is just a v v dark black cloud looming over.
I may have started to overlap and get some depression symptoms mixed in with the anxiety as I know due to lack of hormones it is possible to suffer both.

The light at the end of tunnel is shining a little brighter so I do feel things are improving although slowly but that is the joy of how HRT and Ad's work just have to ride it out unfortunately.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2025, 08:00:52 PM by Losingtheplot »
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #31 on: November 11, 2025, 04:20:13 PM »

I did ask my GP if my hormone levels could be checkd to see how low I was in Estrogen but she refused saying that as I was 50 years old my levels would.be low.
So its a guessing game to how much sandrena gel I use. There is so little support it infuriates me.
So I wait 3 months and see if things settle. If my anxiety is hormonal related and I am not getting sufficient Estrodial I need to rely on Ad's to help me. That makes perfect sense!.
I know many other ladies are in the same situation as me.
I am to keep the contraceptive implant in for 3 years and then for the last 2 years been advised I can go on the pill

As my sex life is non existent I may as well get the implant out, however I don't bleed when I have it and its a risk.

So confused 😕
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CLKD

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #32 on: November 11, 2025, 05:40:36 PM »

Sorry not to have been around today, the Forum has been so slow!

Hormone blood tests can be reliably un-reliable, specially for those on HRT.  How low is low though ?

I think that you need a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic to get correct advice, they can send a letter to your GP to explain what you might require.

How have U felt today?  Keep the implant for now!!!!  ;-)

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CrispyChick

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #33 on: November 11, 2025, 05:45:43 PM »

If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.

If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #34 on: November 11, 2025, 06:24:08 PM »

Sorry not to have been around today, the Forum has been so slow!

Hormone blood tests can be reliably un-reliable, specially for those on HRT.  How low is low though ?

I think that you need a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic to get correct advice, they can send a letter to your GP to explain what you might require.

How have U felt today?  Keep the implant for now!!!!  ;-)

Hi

That's ok 👍

I have seen a menopause specialist before so may suggest another referral.
I have felt very flat today but no bad thoughts like before. Still finding some things a struggle and didnt make it to the gym today.
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #35 on: November 11, 2025, 06:53:22 PM »

If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.

If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.

Thank you. I might look into that.

I suppose hormones can fluctuate so maybe getting bloods done won't achieve much.

I do appreciate you taking the time to message and I am sorry you are going thru such a bad time in other ways to me.
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #36 on: November 11, 2025, 06:59:44 PM »

If you can afford it, both randox and medichecks do hormonal bloods.

If you use gel, you can use randox's tasso device to avoid finger contamination.

Thank you for the information and taking the time to message.

I may look into this, however if I am peri my hormones will be fluctuating I guess. As you can tell I am v frustrated at the min.

I am sorry that you are also going thru a bad time too, I wouldn't act on my thoughts for my son and my families sake but just felt so at my wits end. I am.not feeling suicidal anymore just sad and frustrated.
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Minnie Mouse

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #37 on: November 11, 2025, 07:59:00 PM »

Hi Losing, I'm sorry things are so bad.
I've just been thinking how to help (from someone who has been in the hormonal depths & is slightly out the other side).
You mention childhood trauma (again ditto). I was previously very buttoned up about mine, but now would say that talking about it to a trained therapist can really help make sense of difficult thoughts.
It doesn't have to be CBT, there are many alternative approaches.
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #38 on: November 11, 2025, 08:26:22 PM »

Hi Losing, I'm sorry things are so bad.
I've just been thinking how to help (from someone who has been in the hormonal depths & is slightly out the other side).
You mention childhood trauma (again ditto). I was previously very buttoned up about mine, but now would say that talking about it to a trained therapist can really help make sense of difficult thoughts.
It doesn't have to be CBT, there are many alternative approaches.

Hi Minniemouse

I think I have lived with the trauma for so long now that I only seem to be able to live a quality of life on Ad's.

I think work stresses have contributed alot this time round but the brain fog and lack of concentration has just spiralled things out of control.
It all has a knock on effect and I feel that the symptoms have crept up on me and led me to a dark place.

I don't cope well with stress and can get overwhelmed v easily.

I have another telephone assessment with Talking Therapies in 2 weeks. I may see what they can offer me.

If this is partly hormonal.though no amount of therapy will help as my brain is depleted of essential hormones?

I feel its a mixture of things to be honest as I find the dark nights difficult and am not a fan of this time of the year. That in top of heightened anxiety and hormonal imbalance = a mess.

Pleased you got thru you bad time and its reassuring that can happen.
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Minnie Mouse

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #39 on: November 11, 2025, 09:15:24 PM »

Yes, the hormonal imbalance knocks everything off kilter,
which makes it a vulnerable time full stop.
I've found that self-care across the board, hormones, therapy, good food, good bras!...all helps to deal with this really sh*t phase.
I also hate the dark nights, have really really struggled with that through peri-meno.
Daylight exposure crucial. Also finding sanctuary in podcasts, distraction. xx
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Losingtheplot

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #40 on: November 12, 2025, 12:10:07 PM »

Yes, the hormonal imbalance knocks everything off kilter,
which makes it a vulnerable time full stop.
I've found that self-care across the board, hormones, therapy, good food, good bras!...all helps to deal with this really sh*t phase.
I also hate the dark nights, have really really struggled with that through peri-meno.
Daylight exposure crucial. Also finding sanctuary in podcasts, distraction. xx

Thank you. I am hoping things settle soon. Can feel things improving just v slowly. Im not a teary mess anymore or on the verge of tears. So that is good. I feel v run down today though,  a sore throat and bad head and just exhausted.

I really hope at 50 I am close to the end and will be in menopause/post meno soon. I understand that stage isnt a picnic in the park for many ladies either.

Just hoping once my hormones have depleted at the lowest level then the HRT may beable to be more stable.

Otherwise I know this situation can occur again in the future where levels drop and I am.left crippled again!.
Pointless focusing on the next bout that may occur and feel relief that things are settling.

The Ad's will be helping and the HRT. Its just awful waiting for them to work.
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CLKD

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #41 on: November 12, 2025, 12:54:41 PM »

 :bighug:
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Fuzzwhizzer

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #42 on: November 12, 2025, 11:32:05 PM »

I’m so sorry for the pain you’re in. It’s numbing. Virtual hand holding and sending love your way. I know it’s not much, but heartfelt xx
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CLKD

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #43 on: November 13, 2025, 08:10:19 AM »

Morning.  Does it matter if we need to take our medication regime for a long time?  Would we worry if it were heart or diabetic meds.?
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Jennymoo

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Re: Ready to give up
« Reply #44 on: November 13, 2025, 03:29:21 PM »

Hiya! I hope you're ok today. It sounds like you're starting to feel a wee bit better. Just keep celebrating the small wins at this stage. It sounds like you've been through similar phases before so you know how to do this even if it's a bigger hill to climb this time round.

You sound  like a really caring, empathetic parent which is all a kid can hope for. Try not to sweat it with the kid, this is one of those brief times when you need to he a bit "selfish," or to use a better term realistic, about how much you have to give. Remember we put our oxygen masks on first, before kids, in an emergency and this is an emergency right now! It's ok to just focus on yourself and let the kiddo know you love them but it's mummy time right now.

You are doing everything right, you've been strong enough to ask for help, you're focused on trying to eat well and get out for those dog walks, you're working on the meds. Take each day as it comes, be patient and kind to yourself, celebrate each little win. You're really unwell right now and deserve some grace.

One thing I want to say at the risk of throwing another spanner in the world is have you ever been assessed for AuDHD? Your pattern of struggling with your mental health and 'burning out' during menopause along with a few other things you mention sound quite like my own journey. ... Just diagnosed with AuDHD at 46. It might be worth looking into when you have a bit more  headspace to do so. 

You got this.
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