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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 82 out now. (Winter issue, November 2025)

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Author Topic: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!  (Read 6307 times)

CE1976

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Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« on: December 30, 2024, 08:35:33 PM »

I’ve been feeling so tired and run down for the last couple of months and can’t pin down what’s wrong. I’ve been convinced I had skin cancer (it wasn’t), a gynaecological cancer (ultrasound fine), throat cancer (ent endoscopy fine). I’ve also had an abdominal ultrasound (liver, kidneys, gall bladder, visualised pancreas all fine), chest CT (lungs clear). I’ve also had numerous blood tests and the only thing seen was low vitamin d. Also waiting on results of fit stool test.
I’ve had a tight feeling in my chest which was suggested as reflux but I’m now convinced it’s oesophageal cancer but dr is reluctant to send me for an invasive endoscopy. I’ve also lost weight in the last couple of months and struggling to sleep and I’m exhausted! I’m aware I sound like a hypochondriac but just feel like something has been missed as I’ve never felt this bad for this long before.
Any suggestions or calming words welcome!
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CLKD

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2024, 08:39:40 PM »

I think U have a similar thread running  :-\ ........ where U will find calming words. 
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CE1976

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2024, 08:49:45 PM »

Oh I don’t think I do, is there someone else with similar woes  :(
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Dierdre

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2024, 09:31:40 PM »

Vitamin D deficiency will definately cause you to feel tired, run down and a whole lot of other symptoms including low mood and anxiety. Has your doctor prescibed a high dose of Vitamin D?
All your tests have ruled out any serious problems so far but if you are constantly worrying about your health this alone could be causing your weight loss and not being able to sleep. Has the doctor suggested something for anxiety and also something to help you sleep while you are having the investigations.
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CE1976

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2024, 10:12:30 PM »

Thanks for your reply. I’ve just finished 4 weeks of high dose vitamin d but haven’t noticed much improvement yet. It does feel like a vicious cycle with anxiety and health so might ask if they can prescribe something. I seem to see a different doctor every time I go which is quite frustrating as there’s no continuity!
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ElkWarning

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2024, 10:30:46 PM »

I've just quickly looked at your post history.  This stood out for me: 'For the last couple of months I’ve noticed huge heart rate spikes when doing very moderate exercise eg. Just walking to work. At times it’s registered 200bpm on my Fitbit.'  I'm a super anxious person, who wears a Fitbit, and that would really freak me out.

So here's what I think is happening.  You noticed something irregular.  No one has been able to give you an answer.  You feel as if you're being palmed off with 'Everything's fine' when you believe that it isn't.  This is increasing your anxiety.  You're refusing to accept the old hysterical woman / hypochondriac label.  Alongside this, you seem to be perimenopausal and I can't work out whether you've decided to try HRT or not.

But the cherry on the cake is that you can't sleep and you're completely exhausted.

The rational part of me would consider breaking this down into chunkable steps so that it's not an overwhelming mass of chaotic panic.

1.  You need to sleep, speak to your GP, Mirtazepine is frequently prescribed.  If you don't fancy that, maybe try some Kalms Night (however, it's Valerian, so don't take it for more than a couple of weeks, ask your pharmacist).

2.  What did they say about the heart rate thing?  When I was in peri I ended up at a scheduled ECG - referred by GP.  This helped to ease my mind.  However, I also had to change another medication (for blood pressure) that was causing issues.

3.  I get a sense of tightness in my chest, always related to how much cheese and meat I've been eating.  Switched to a Mindful Chef vegan / gluten free meal box 3 x weekly and this made the worrying sensation disappear.  It came back over xmas when I cancelled said meal boxes and ate a lot of rich food.

4.  I take D3 and K2 (combined, made by Viridian) every day.  Noticeable uptick in stamina.  I also take Floradix iron and vitamin tablets when I'm feeling a bit run down.  I'm a teacher.  Sometimes even my tired is tired but these two steps seem to sort me out - the 30 year olds I work with don't know where I get my energy from.

5.  Related to points 3 and 4, I eat a high protein diet.  Often start the day with a Fuel protein shake, followed up with Fage 0% fat yoghurt + blueberries, then a banana, oat cakes, ridiculous amounts of pulses.

6.  I also smoke a vape and drink bourbon, not a nun.

7.  I see a massage therapist and a herbalist as and when needed.

8.  I've been married a long time, my husband is a decent guy.

9.  I've been in weekly f2f therapy for 6+ years.

10.  Feels like there should be a point 10.

For me, peri was a process.  I didn't have any of the above in place when I was going through it.  Horrible, horrible time.  Thought I was dying and no one, except me, was willing to accept there was this massive thing that was wrong.  It was invisible, haunted me, my own personal demon in my own personal prison.  It's like I was locked in there.  Totally isolating.  I tried HRT and it caused my blood pressure to spike, or those two things happened at the same time, whatever, my GP withdrew HRT.  I just had to work through it, one thing at a time, and find reassurance where I could.  To be honest, the women who treated me with massage, herbs and psychotherapy were really important to my survival - because they listened.  The vit D3 and K2, together with the multi vits, helped with stamina.  The Kalms (and herbal remedies) helped with sleep.

Don't doubt yourself, find what works for you.  You'll come out the other end of this stronger and really quite sure of who you are.
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Dierdre

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2024, 09:15:51 AM »

Dont know about you CE1976 but i feel much better after reading this post, thanks ElkWarning.
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Penguin

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2024, 09:20:41 AM »

Excellent post above by ElkWarning, covers all bases in think. I'll step in and say I went through similar in 2022, and was convinced they'd missed something. I lost about 2 stone in weight and it was really noticeable, I was also convinced the wright loss meant something sinister. It didn't. It was severe anxiety totally mucking up my digestion,combined with the start of peri. I tried and gave up on hrt as was having too many fluctuations to get the dose right. Ended up seeing a psychiatrist privately and it was only that which really helped. Not saying that's right path for you, but I do think anxiety is at the root of this and it's making everything worse so start with that. And defo get help for sleep. If not mirtazapine then you could ask for a course of 2mg melatonin as this may help reset your circadian rhythm. Getting sleep will help get things in perspective, nobody can think rationally when that exhausted.
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CE1976

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2024, 09:26:09 AM »

This has made me feel much better ElkWarning. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed and helpful post.
You’re right this did all start with sudden heart rate spikes (still happening and still none the wiser). Really hope this is all peri related. Hoping to start hrt in the new year so hopefully will see some improvements.
Thank you too penguin, that’s also very reassuring. I definitely need to get the sleep sorted. Can’t imagine going back to work next week feeling this tired!
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DottyD68

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2024, 11:01:37 AM »

Although I don't do all the things Elkwarning suggests, she talks a lot of sense and my only things I would add would be:-

1. I see an acupuncturist once a month. Whether it is a placebo effect or not I don't care, it makes me feel so much better. She listens to me and doesn't make me feel like a loony hypochondriac. Plus it is the SAME person everytime and not a randomly allocated GP (which adds to my health anxiety).

2. I use a meditation app called Headspace (there are others). This has been a fantastic tool in my toolkit for the last few years and especially in moments of high anxiety.

Hope this helps X
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Penguin

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2024, 06:12:46 PM »

This has made me feel much better ElkWarning. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed and helpful post.
You’re right this did all start with sudden heart rate spikes (still happening and still none the wiser). Really hope this is all peri related. Hoping to start hrt in the new year so hopefully will see some improvements.
Thank you too penguin, that’s also very reassuring. I definitely need to get the sleep sorted. Can’t imagine going back to work next week feeling this tired!

Hiya i saw on your other post that you got your fit test results back, were they okay?
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CE1976

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2024, 06:26:59 PM »

Hi penguin, yes they were clear, thanks for asking. As with all the other results I feel a strange mix of relief but also back to wondering what’s wrong!
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Penguin

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2024, 07:27:48 PM »

Hi penguin, yes they were clear, thanks for asking. As with all the other results I feel a strange mix of relief but also back to wondering what’s wrong!

That's good news! Anxiety and peri is what's wrong x
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Ayesha

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2025, 10:45:16 AM »

You need to sort your head out or you will have a nervous breakdown because of health anxiety, you do seem to have it really bad to put yourself through all those investigations which would automatically cause even more anxiety. 



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bombsh3ll

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Re: Worried there’s something really wrong. Calming words needed!
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2025, 09:10:07 PM »

I think it would be hard for anything sinister to have escaped all those investigations and not show up.

I certainly second the suggestion of mirtazapine for both sleep and appetite.

Do you think your hormones have any bearing on how you are feeling, as in perimenopause?

Certainly low estrogen and low testosterone can lead to poor sleep, fatigue and a sense of unwellness that can be hard to put your finger on.

If this is the case it is easily treatable, but unfortunately many GPs fail to consider menopause as the cause of symptoms in women, resulting in extensive investigations, unnecessary worry and frustration.
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