Hi Nas
Ask away! I have been seeing a private therapist for 9 months but my anxiety and depression got worse and worse from July so was switched from the 20mg escitalopram I had been on for 6 months (15mg for the last 8 years) to sertraline. I took 10mg escitalopram + 50mg sertraline for one week and then went to 100mg sertraline. My symptoms continued to decline (was slowing increasing my oestrogen patch as well as 2 dots of testosterone) through August and I had what I can only describe as a psychotic break mid-September where I was threatening suicide, dissociating, not eating or sleeping. My wife got the NHS crisis team involved that day and an NHS psychiatrist saw me 24 hours later. He upped the sertraline to 150mg that day and added promethizine to make sure I slept and to take during the day if I needed to zone out for a while. It was bad. I started to feel better after about 3 days as I was sleeping and then wobbled a bit for a few more days until I decided to try cutting out the testosterone. I woke up the next morning with a clear head and no panic. I obviously can't put it all down to testosterone as I was doing other things to help, but it was key for me.
The sertraline is rough on my stomach and I feel a bit nauseous for a few hours after taking. I also have to take in the morning because it keeps me awake if I take at night. I'm pretty numb emotionally, but working 2 days a week and functioning pretty much as I was before things got really bad. I've just started reducing the sertraline dose to 125mg every other day (with 150mg on alternate days). Will do that for a week and then go to 125mg if all ok. My aim is to reduce to 100mg over the next 6 weeks or so if I can.
I had a total hysterectomy (kept the ovaries) 5 years ago and then breast cancer 3 months later. The hormone journey has been complicated for me but I'm confident the choices I've made are right for me. Quality of life is my focus now and that involves systemic oestrogen, oestrogen cream (ovestin) daily and the antidepressant. My hope is to decrease the AD and oestrogen as and when my body agrees with it. That may be never, and I'm ok with that because I've looked into the abyss and won't go back.
I know how you feel. I don't think anyone realised how desperate I was until the suicide talk started. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but hitting the bottom made me willing to accept any and all help offered.
I wish you all the best and happy to answer any questions about ADs, etc if it helps at all.