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[Gilla999]

This was day 4 of me trying the contraceptive pill in a bid to switch off the fluctuations of my cycle which cause me so many problems. I took off my low dose 1/4 Evorel patch and the next day moved to Zoely which contains 1.5mg of estradiol and a progestin. I had tried it before 4 years ago with little side effects. The first day was OK but felt wretched the second day. On day 3 I swapped to Slynd which is a new progesterone only pill, and I put my 1/4 patch back on. Yesterday was OK ish but today has been the worst day of my life. I have been hit by some kind of withdrawal from something - whether it is Estrogen withdrawal as the patch loses its potency against a high dose progestin or whether it has interfered somehow with my antidepressant and valium medication that I take daily, I don't know. But the whole day has been uncontrollable shaking, crying, vomiting and the worst psychological anguish I've ever known. I've also bled for the entire four days. I will of course stop the experiment tomorrow and hope my hormones regain themselves quickly. It's very frightening to go through something like this alone. I've already had to take 5mg of valium just to survive the day (my usual 4mg dose is at bedtime) and cap the juddering and crying somewhat. I don't understand what cab have gone so catastrophically wrong with something so unradical. I did try briefly upping my Evorel patch in case it helped but it just made the palpitations worse. Feeling like it's going to be a sleepless horrible night and really just looking for a bit of support and a hug - it's a scary thing to go through 

[CLKD]

U can have a BIG    from me.  3 weeks ago I was where U have been today: due to increasing depression creeping up I upped my medication too much without being aware: from 5mg escitolopram in the. morning and 10mg at night, I added 5mg to the usual 5mg in the morning. The next morning I took 10 again ........  After 3 mornings my head was spinning and guts ....... I spent 12 hours shaking the symptoms went.

So - back to you.  Which symptom did you hope to relieve when U first began replacement?  Remind me of how long you have been trying a regime. 

5mg of valium is fine, U can take 4mg at 10.00 p.m., the extra won't do any harm short term.  If U can't sleep then do some deep breathing or singing, read, have a bath, get a warm drink to cuddle.

........ and breath.  Hard I know.  This too will pass.

[Mariab]

Hi
I just had to reply to you as I understand your suffering..it is truly awful...although my experience hrt wise is different to yours... I am on gel and coil and anti depressants... it's taken me a year and a half to get some sort of balance.
I know how hard it is along with other ladies here....but trust me you will get there and things will get better..it's just a case of trial and error....
What were you using before the pill?.

[Gilla999]

CLKD thank you for the hug and for bringing tears to my eyes (in a good way!). Just to know you're not going through something alone really makes a difference. I definitely have also had similar experiences when changing my AD medications. I seem to be very sensitive to changes in brain chemistry.

My peri journey has been very unusual in that I was suddenly plunged into menopause 4 years ago, and HRT was a miracle cure for that misery. But after a while my body somehow sporadically returned to normal but I found it impossible to get off the HRT without withdrawal, even though my hormone levels were very high and causing me all sorts of histamine and immune system problems. I might be wrong but I think with me ny inability to reduce it has something to do with the serotonin connection and inability to tolerate changes to that. So I had hoped that by shutting down the fluctuations things would be easier, but it has backfired hugely. At least I know I can just not take it again and will stick with my patch and regroup once the immediate mess is over.

Thanks for your kind reply Maria. On bad days like this it all feels hopeless, but I'm determined not to let my hormone problems continue to steal my life. I'd settle at first for more good days than bad!

Thanks again for your replies ladies, it really means a lot xxxx

[CLKD]

Who has been giving advice about taking less replacement until your body stabilises?  When I had to reduce an AD it was the 'what if I can't stop and need to go back' going through my head becasue my body reacted at each drop in dose. 

Hormones however are natural so with careful guidance, the body shouldn't hang on to replacement: any idea how long each drug stays in the body for?  That would be a starting point to know how a re-adjustment would affect the overall system.

[Gilla999]

If you mean who has advised taking less HRT, it's my NHS meno doctor but also it's just very obviously needed due to (a) my very high hormone levels (circa 900) and (b) any time my hormone levels increase I feel much, much worse. I think I got stuck on it and now just struggle to come off - how much physically and how much psychologically is up for debate!

Thank you for your kind replies last night when I was in a really dark place.

[CLKD]

Did U sleep? 

How do U feel now? 

[Gilla999]

I managed to get to sleep after taking extra of my Mirtazapine, thankfully. Doing ok this morning and just hoping the Progesterone crash in the next couple of days from stopping the pill isn't too harsh. Trying not to beat myself up for trying new things!

[CLKD]

Would U beat yourself up if U bought a pair of shoes then didn't like them?  Would you beat yourself up if you tried a new food ........ a lot about life is experimentation  as well as the gut not liking foods that I have eaten since a teen  .

How's the morning been?

[Gilla999]

This morning was OK, but just been uncontrollably crying again all afternoon. I have no idea what is going on or why I feel so wretched. I can only hope that as the pill starts to get out of my system (I took 4 days and today is the first day of not taking it) that things go back to normal and improve 

[CLKD]

Crying 4 me was hormonal.  The night B4 a bleed began I would sob, even if a period wasn't due    .  This too will pass .

[Gilla999]

Thank you CLKD - I really appreciate  the support and kind words x

[CLKD]

I suffered through out the 1990s  and in hindsight, wonder how much was due to peri-menopause.  There were weeks when I couldn't leave the house, DH would walk the  I couldn't even go into our garden to work.  I never thought that I would be out and about, ever.

[Ana21]

Gilla999

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.  The Zoely sounded like a good option.

Do you plan to retry the Zoely?  When starting oral estrogen, I think it took me 5 weeks to get past the initial physical side effects and then several months to settle.  But I didn't have the mood changes you're experiencing.  That's a different kettle of fish.  I could tough it out because I was only dealing with physical symptoms and felt confident they would pass with time.

For you, the trial-and-error sounds like an ordeal.  I hope you're feeling better soon. 

[Gilla999]

I thought I'd give a quick update that after experiencing the worst horror, dread and anxiety of my life for the last 3 days, I had a blood test this morning which showed my Estrogen level at only 80 pmol... which explains rather a lot! It normally averages about 700 in luteal day 21 and about 250 on day 3 at the lowest point of my cycle, so i've obviously been going through acute Estrogen withdrawal. The contraceptive pill seems not only to have turned off my own hormones but also appears to have stopped absorption or metabolism of my Evorel patch too. I last took the pill on Saturday morning so it should be cleared out of my body soon and hopefully my Estrogen level will soon recover.

It's such a huge relief to at least understand what has been going on... I don't know about anyone else, but I feel that the 'not knowing or understanding' what is happening to your body when it goes through a crisis makes everything so much worse.

Thank you Ana for your kind words... so much of peri/meno is trial and error, snd I guess this time was just a big fat error!

CLKD yes i do think women have always suffered but just not had a name for it and often been explained away as having mental health issues (which could also be the case, I just think hormones have the ability to impact those so much).

I sound like a broken record but I really do appreciate the support over the last few days, it has been very helpful