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[lisa06031510]

Hi All,

Just turning to you guys for support as usual... I do have Amazing family and Friends but I also know they don't fully understand and they worry so much...

I've felt my menopause symptoms return the last few weeks and have an appointment with my Dr for Friday to discuss HRT review.. I am currently on 125mg but after today I just self upped it to 150mg

So I had a Breakdown in August 2021 due to wrong amount of HRT and since May 2022 I haven't cried or had any emotions.... Physical symptoms have been coming back over last few weeks but today I randomly burst in to tears which I was greatful for as I used to cry all the time and I've had nothing for a year but the crying soon turned into a panic attack and darl thought... I am now petrified this is gonna be the start of me having another mental breakdown and I'm really not sure I'm strong enough to survive another one

[Flossieteacake]

Hi Lisa, I can understand why you are scared. From what I gather you went through such a lot then and also had surgery. That was a huge thing to deal with. You are in a different place now.

Although you are struggling this does not mean you will have a breakdown.

How do you feel about having therapy? It can really help with getting in touch with your feelings.

[lisa06031510]

Hi ya,

Thank you for replying, I really needed that... I feel so alone all though I'm.not.

Yeah I had surgery 3.5 years ago at age 36 and it was horrendous and I'm just so scared it's starting again...

I tried Therapy and it didn't work for me... I have been on this amount. Of HRT for a year so I'm hoping I just need an adjustment and I will be ok again.. I've been wanting to cry for a year and now it's happened I don't like it

[Flossieteacake]

Hi ya,

Thank you for replying, I really needed that... I feel so alone all though I'm.not.

Yeah I had surgery 3.5 years ago at age 36 and it was horrendous and I'm just so scared it's starting again...

I tried Therapy and it didn't work for me... I have been on this amount. Of HRT for a year so I'm hoping I just need an adjustment and I will be ok again.. I've been wanting to cry for a year and now it's happened I don't like it

You are most welcome. What kind of therapy did you have? There are so many different kinds and different therapists. It took me a while to find the right therapy and therapist for myself.

I remember when you first joined here, you were very distressed about feeling so numb and being unable to cry. It sounds like crying has come as a shock to you as it has not happened for a while. For some people, crying can be very therapeutic so if you are crying it means you are not keeping things in.

I am sure a tweak to your HRT will help too. 

[lisa06031510]

It was on the phone to a therapist... And I just wanted to talk about coping strategies as I never ever want to have a breakdown again but she kept wanting to talk about my past and it wasn't something I wanted to discuss...

When I first had op I kept crying and having mini panic attacks and mini breakdown and it led to a Big mental Breakdown that took me what felt like forever to get over!!! But then I just stopped feeling and I just become numb and that wasn't very nice as I've always been able to express myself so well... I had some other patches at home so upped them and will discuss with my Dr... I don't know if maybe I need to lowery HRT ?? I just have no clue... I'm 3.5 years in and I am 39 and have to stay on it til.52 but literally have no clue what I should be doing....I just want to feel like me again... So sorry to go on... Just don't want to worry people xx

[Flossieteacake]

It was on the phone to a therapist... And I just wanted to talk about coping strategies as I never ever want to have a breakdown again but she kept wanting to talk about my past and it wasn't something I wanted to discuss...

When I first had op I kept crying and having mini panic attacks and mini breakdown and it led to a Big mental Breakdown that took me what felt like forever to get over!!! But then I just stopped feeling and I just become numb and that wasn't very nice as I've always been able to express myself so well... I had some other patches at home so upped them and will discuss with my Dr... I don't know if maybe I need to lowery HRT ?? I just have no clue... I'm 3.5 years in and I am 39 and have to stay on it til.52 but literally have no clue what I should be doing....I just want to feel like me again... So sorry to go on... Just don't want to worry people xx

If you prefer to just focus on coping strategies then you may prefer CBT. I know some therapists believe we cannot move forward without addressing our past.

The way you suddenly became numb sounds to me like it could be a result of having to block out all your feelings so you could cope. Crying and feeling so much can be so hard to deal with and if we block it out it can be a way of coping.

You never need to apologise for talking about how you feel and you are not going on. HRT can need tweaking from time to time and it can be so frustrating to find a level we feel okay on and then have to adjust it again. It is okay if you need an adjustment.

[CLKD]

I never want to feel as frightened as I did whilst suffering anxiety attacks and cyclical depression 

However, with correct ADs and an emergency anti-anxiety medication on the whole, in 15 years, I've been fine as long as I don't plan too far ahead.

It mayB that your hormones are rising and fall, interfering with any HRT.  Keeping a mood/food/symptom diary may be of use too.

Half a day at a time.   

[lisa06031510]

I am going to call Dr tomorrow and see if can get an emergency appointment as I've self upped my HRT I don't want to be doing the wrong thing... I'm just hoping this is a once off but because I know my symptoms have been returning lately, I feel this is going to be ongoing til I get the dose ok again

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on.

[lisa06031510]

I just checked and my appointment is actually on Wednesday and I'm not due to carnage my patches til then so will just waith til then and see what they say

[CLKD]

 

[lisa06031510]

Hi All,

Had a phone conversation with Dr.. I got the usual.its all to be expected at my age and after having a hysterectomy...
She did agree going up to 150mg was best thing to do and no harm in me being on a high dose because of  no Uterus.

She has referred me back to Guini though to see if there is anything else that can do... So fingers crossed this dose kicks in soon and my appointment is not to far away

[sheila99]

Sending positive vibes your way. Hopefully the increased dose will sort it out, it sounds as though it should. Brownie points to your GP too, many won't prescribe above 100mg.

[Flossieteacake]

This is good to hear Lisa. I hope the increase helps.

[lisa06031510]

Yeah they said 100 is normally the limit before getting sent to a professional so I've done well getting 150.... They said there is other stuff I can have as well to help but will need to be discussed with Hospital Dr...

I think I just worry that dose is too high but she said because no uterus it won't matter as much