Hi Booroo
I can relate to how you are feeling and it's awful. I never had anxiety before peri-menopause but now it seems to be my main symptom and I'm currently going through a phase of it. HRT seemed to help until I had a big blip in August when GP tried to change regime whilst I was recovering from Covid. Since then I've not been right.
I think this recent episode was triggered by my mother who went into a carehome with Alzheimer's this year. She was pretty settled til last month when visits became unbearable as she just demands to "go home" on repeat. Despite arranging to see all the family (16 of us) the week before Christmas (which I found incredibly stressful organising and in hindsight was not a good idea) she was still expecting to be with family on Christmas day which couldn't happen. This was the 1st year she didn't see any of the family on Christmas day and I have felt terrible about it even though I know her carehome laid on a lovely day. I am now dreading going to visit her as the demands to go home will continue. As a result my nightly palpitations, wobbly tummy and shakes have reappeared. I have my HRT review next week (if I can get an appointment) and I feel that if we can't tweak my HRT to control my anxiety better I may have to try other meds as I can't live like this. My social anxiety is awful and I have gone from being a confident, happy, fun person to trying to avoid meet-ups with lovely friends because I don't want to drag them down. The week before Christmas was a nightmare. I had tried to carefully space social activities out so I wasn't over-doing it but then various friends appeared last minute and before I knew it I felt totally overwhelmed with it all and out of control. I dont think the last 2 years of pre-christmas lockdowns have helped and I had got out of the habit of the pre-christmas madness.
I also get anxious about not being able to speak to a GP. Access to my surgery is very difficult on a good day and only compounded by the Christmas break.
I am "enjoying" a really quiet week this week trying to get on top of things with exercise, Meditation and lots of chamomile tea. I did try Kalms for 3 days over Christmas which seemed to help but gave me terrible tummy trouble so I stopped them. I am hoping that once we get past the New Year and things become more routine things will settle. Gosh I really do sound like bah humbug don't I! What happened to me?
I hope you get the help you need x