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[KarineT]

Hello,

I've read the statement 'being on the other side'.

What do you understand by being on the other side?  Does this refer to someone who has reached the menopause and has no more symptoms or less of them? Is there really such a thing?

Thanks

Karine

[Flossieteacake]

I have never heard of this before. Where did you read it? Even people who are post menopause have symptoms so I cannot think what that means.

[Bevey]

"Being on the other side" means that your symptoms are gone, and "the menopause" is over. For most women, this happens in the post-menopausal stage. After the five most difficult years of my life, I am finally "reaching the other side", which means that all of my symptoms (and I had dozens of them) are disappearing. I'm feeling more confident and in control of my life. I'm 54, and my last period was on July 1st, so this might be it for me!

[Taz2]

I don't know anyone whose symptoms totally disappeared but I'm really pleased for you Bevey. Why do you think this is it when you have only gone three months without a period of you don't mind me asking? Fingers crossed you are right though. My symptoms disappeared each time my body was gearing up for a period - sometimes 6 or 7 months after the last one. It was very frustrating but this forum kept me going

Taz x

[Bevey]

Taz, it's hard to know with hormones. Since I'm 54, I think there's a high likelihood that my hormones are finally settling. I haven't had a period for over four cycles now. Generally speaking, when the hormones start to flatline, the symptoms do, as well. For me, I think that the main issue was high estrogen relative to progesterone, and it was the imbalance between these hormones that caused so many of the physical and mental symptoms. I'm so glad that I toughed it out, but to get here, I went through HELL, and that's not an exaggeration!

[Taz2]

I'm so glad you are feeling better and fingers crossed for you that you've seen the last of your periods  I was 53 when I began having missed cycles. It's so frustrating when periods begin again after missing many cycles. It's interesting how we are all so different in our hormonal journeys. It's great to be able to share our experiences on here.

Taz x

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I thought that reaching the other side meant that our bodies had adapted to the lower hormonal levels and we could feel settled both physically and emotionally. Now I am not so sure.

Personally I seem to be stuck with emotional turmoil and other ladies report ongoing problems  such as VA. 

I still hope however that things do get better and our bodies find a new normal.

Bevey -  I had my last period at fifty four so you may be finished  but in all honesty it is too early to tell. I wish you well though and please keep us updated on your progress.

Take care everyone.

K.

[KarineT]

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies to my post.

I read somewhere this thing about being through the other side with the menopause but I can't recall where.

We can't really say that the menopause is over because it's irreversible but I was thinking in terms of symptoms.  I think being through the other side is probably relating to symptoms that subside eventually.

Bevie, are you saying that you haven't had a period for 4 months?  If so, you're not postmeno yet. You have to have missed 12 consecutive periods to be postmeno.  For my part, January next year will mark three years without a period.  I'm still struggling emotionally from time to time.  It looks like things haven't settled yet for me.  I must admit, I used to struggle with this during my reproductive years. I think this is combined with a terrible childhood. 

There are times when I feel so anxious, alone and vulnerable in my head.  This is not an easy one.

[Flossieteacake]

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies to my post.

I read somewhere this thing about being through the other side with the menopause but I can't recall where.

We can't really say that the menopause is over because it's irreversible but I was thinking in terms of symptoms.  I think being through the other side is probably relating to symptoms that subside eventually.

Bevie, are saying that you haven't had a period for 4 months?  If so, you're not postmeno yet. You have to have missed 12 consecutive periods to be postmeno.  For my part, January next year will mark three years without a period.  I'm still struggling emotionally from time to time.  It looks like things haven't settled yet for me.  I must admit, I used to struggle with this during my reproductive years. I think this is combined with a terrible childhood. 

There are times when I feel so anxious, alone and vulnerable in my head.  This is not an easy one.

I am so sorry you struggle with such feelings. I think for many people such feelings may not even be meno related but as you say, something that stems from childhood. It is very difficult when feeling alone. It is almost like no matter what happens the lost and lonely child is trapped inside.

[KarineT]

It's a tough one and at times I can't figure out if it's meno or childhood trauma related.  I am currently doing some cbt but at times I end up thinking whether this is the right therapy or not.  Someone on here mentioned that cbt is not working but everyone is different.

[Bevey]

Yes, I understand that I'm not post-menopause yet, but I feel as though the physical and emotional symptoms have decreased immensely! All of 2022 has generally been a good year for me, so I am moving in the right direction:)

[marge]

I always say ‘everybody’s body is different’. We all react differently to any changes/illnesses etc. l thought l’d sailed through meno, but after a while (can’t remember how long) l developed terrible anxiety, particularly health, and other aches and pains and weird symptoms that come and go. 10 years on and l’ve learned to accept and live with these things. This forum has been a lifeline.

[Flossieteacake]

It's a tough one and at times I can't figure out if it's meno or childhood trauma related.  I am currently doing some cbt but at times I end up thinking whether this is the right therapy or not.  Someone on here mentioned that cbt is not working but everyone is different.

I think CBT can help with strategies and methods but I personally would not recommend it for anything deeper. The therapy I found the most helpful was CAT. I know we are all different and need to find a therapy that works well for us.

[Flossieteacake]

I always say ‘everybody’s body is different’. We all react differently to any changes/illnesses etc. l thought l’d sailed through meno, but after a while (can’t remember how long) l developed terrible anxiety, particularly health, and other aches and pains and weird symptoms that come and go. 10 years on and l’ve learned to accept and live with these things. This forum has been a lifeline.

That is a very positive way of thinking Marge.

[Nas]

My understanding of being on “ the other side” is that you are pretty much symptom free and adjusting to the new normal. It’s a tricky one I think, as I’m convinced that traumatic/negative experiences in life, can also  exacerbate the menopause to a greater or lesser degree.