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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 81 out now. (Autumn issue, September 2025)

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Author Topic: Anger and loss of patience  (Read 4709 times)

Michele

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Anger and loss of patience
« on: April 04, 2022, 06:45:59 PM »

Hi ladies, please help. Despite seeing a hormone consultant and having tests and being put on the right patches, seeing a psychologist and being put on the right antidepressants, I am still such a horrible person, I’m beyond angry, I have no patience and I’ve so had enough of feeling this way, no particular triggers, but I don’t know what to do.
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CLKD

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2022, 07:59:18 PM »

How is your diet overall?

I suggest keeping a diary of what you eat/drink for 5 days/nights. Don't cheat. Don't miss anything out.  Low blood sugar can cause anger surges!  I would rant++.

NAPS advised eating every 3 hours, 24/7. 
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VictoryV

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2022, 09:19:43 PM »

Hi Michele, are you getting good quality sleep, no disturbances?
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Michele

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2022, 04:28:26 PM »

My diets fine, I have bowel problems so I’m always careful on my foods.
I’m awake on and off during the night, not for long though and go straight back off.
I’m thinking that’s there’s nothing else that can be done for me, as I’ve tried everything, I just hate myself and the person I’ve become.
I seem to upset most I come into contact with, so it’s best if I keep myself to myself that way I can’t hurt anyone.
I even feel that my drs are fed up of me and I’m a burden on my close friend and family. This might sound like depression I get that but I’m positive it’s all hormonal, I don’t know what to do or where to turn
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CLKD

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2022, 05:00:32 PM »

Well you're here which is a start.  Do look at The National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome (NAPS) - who advised that I eat every 3 hours 24/7. It took a while to get used to it, I had biscuits by the bed for that early morning 'let the puppy out to pee' moments  - she soon realised that there would be a treat on our return to bed  ;D

I soon knew when I had forgotten to eat regularly.  Now I have go-to foods: dried fruits and nuts; bananas; rich tea and ginger biscuits ....... so that I eat B4 my body is hungry. Hormonal upheaval can cause anxiety and depression levels to rise and fall quite suddenly.  Make sure that you don't go to bed hungry! 

You are not responsible for how others react to you, that is up to them.  One can be depressed without realising the impact that hormones might be having. 
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Michele

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2022, 05:38:33 PM »

I am postmenopausal not pre though.
Yes I suffer with depression too, but wondered how much of that was hormonal to be honest.
I am responsible for others though because it’s my fault that they react to me, if I wasn’t like this they would react.
I’m making everyone’s life miserable that’s what gets to me the most and there’s nothing I can do to stop it
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Gnatty

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2022, 05:51:21 PM »

Can you tell us which size patch you are on? It may be that you need a higher dose. I would say if you are still experiencing rage that's a pretty good indicator for needing more oestrogen. Also have a look into testosterone. This may be something too that would help. Particularly with low mood. Did the AD make any difference?
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CLKD

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2022, 06:19:03 PM »

It is NOT your fault - we all need to take resonsibillity for our actions.  Have U spoken to those that you think you have upset?  Why do you think that they are upset?  R U really upsetting people ..............

One shouldn't rely on HRT etc. to ease depression and/or anxiety. 
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Louise2010

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2022, 12:33:47 PM »

Hi Michele

I really know what you mean ….when I read your post. I feel the same.
I’m on an AD and HRT and I have the same sleep pattern that you mentioned. I know for me not getting enough good quality sleep makes me horrible and snappy. I sympathise because I feel like I need to accept this and I just don’t want to be a horrible person!
I think the way I deal with it is I’m honest with people like my family and say I’m sorry if I’m snappy but xyz…. And then I try to avoid talking to people. I know this is not possible all the time at work for instance.
I try not to let my blood sugar get erratic by eating as little refined sugar, caffeine as possible and I don’t drink often either but that’s not for everyone I know. However I’ve found it’s calmed the anger and I just feel irritable probably 85% of the time and 15% I feel good.
I think it’s a long road but don’t give up hope. Magnesium glycinate is great for chilling me out and also walking is my saving grace when I can.
Sending you the biggest hug xx
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Louise2010

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2022, 12:37:22 PM »

Just thought I’d add - I know not talking to people isn’t really an option all the time and I’m aware of how bonkers that sounds now. Obviously there are situations where I have to talk to people and sometimes I find being forced into being polite/ social actually makes me forget about how angry I feel 🤣
Hope that makes some sense xx
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sheila99

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2022, 02:39:54 PM »

When you say you're on the right patch - what is the basis of this conclusion? I ask because bad temper is a common meno symptom and it may be that would benefit from a higher dose. Is it conti hrt? Have you tried a different progestin? Lack of sleep and low blood sugar are guaranteed to make you like that too. At what age/stage of life did you become angry? Could it have started with peri?
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KarineT

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2022, 03:06:08 PM »

I know this will be of no help to you but I'd much rather be angry and impatient than terribly anxious & low on a regular basis.  If you don't suffer from anxiety and low mood then you won't know what it's like.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2022, 06:24:14 PM by KarineT »
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PeriWhat?!

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2022, 03:34:55 PM »

I also think it might be worth trying more oestrogen. I feel like this if I can't put my oestrogen gel on in the mornings for some reason. Even if I'm a couple of hours late with it everyone knows about it unfortunately! I dose up and, like magic, I'm (relatively!) nice and happy again. ;)
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LisaBenno

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2022, 09:41:57 AM »

Hi @PeriWhat?!

I sent you a private message last night regarding the mirena coil but now when I go on my profile it says I have no sent messages? :( x
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PeriWhat?!

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Re: Anger and loss of patience
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2022, 11:23:12 AM »

Hiya, just spotted it, hang on... :) x
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