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[Michelle7474]

That was as polite as I could be hahaa
one of my dads sayings that I picked up lol

I usually stay off the bed to be honest unless I’ve been really bad ,  I’ve made the bed and cleaned this morning I’m just sat on top of it creasing it’s and making it look messy lol
I always find it my go to place when it’s gets too bad , I dunno why as like you say i can lay on sofa or outside we have had rain today , but for some unknown reason the bed seems to be my go too .. even my husband is like what’s the difference in sofa and bed and I’m like dunno it’s just the bed seems to be where I need to go lol ( all in my head )

Glad you had a few calm hours and hopefully the anxious feelings dissapear

My head as overtook everything today so that’s getting more attention than the aniexty .. I have fan on in the bedroom and sat here with a lovely breeze I’ll be telling you I’m cold later
I actually can’t wait for bedtime to sleep.. I wouldn’t sleep tonight if I dropped off now .. not that I sleep much anyways but the bit I do get I prefer to keep to evening time.

Good old Columbo on tv ( I’m not watching it ).. wonder if he can come and work on my case and find out where this came from and when it’s gonna end lol

Have you any plans for evening Suzy xx

[Suzysheep]

My husband calls the bed ‘ the pit of dispair’ when I take to it. I think it’s because it’s comfy, quiet and safe. .. but it does do me good to get out of the pit and mix with the other humans in the house!

My husband and son are watching football… so I’m on the iPad…. Researching on here about martazapine  ( can’t spell) I’m going to suggest it to the dr tomorrow.
I know they say 6-8 weeks for ads to work, but I would have thought I’d have more better days than bad by week 5.

Get columbo to investigate my case too……….

[Suzysheep]

Oh… and just to add my hot flushes are back with a vengeance… they disappeared on HRT…. But now they’re back…. Yay!

[Michelle7474]

Haaa it’s always good to interact with humans for a while 😂😂
My husband is at work , he will be gutted he isn’t back for the football

I’ve heard a lot of people on about the AD and saying it’s helped with aniexty fast
It was suggested to someone on a thread and apparently helps sleep also
Can’t think where I actually read it but was on here. ( obviously we all different but can’t be bad if loads are mentioning it )
I wrote down the name thinking of If ever decide to use AD I want that one ( if i can on warfrain )

I’ve been purchasing Christmas presents because I’ve nothing better to do
I always look forward to Christmas as we usually go on holiday .. the holiday is booked but we are taking each day as it comes .. so hopefully by then I’m ok & feel good enough to go .. husband said it not we will change it for another date .. awful not being able to plan as dont know what each day is gonna bring

Enjoy the reading on the AD and I hope if your doc gives you , I hope that it works for you and helps you feel better
When reading i was very tempted to say actually I want that
But I’ll see how things go for now

I wonder if the hot flushes back means the hormones are out of your system or slowly coming out
I have aches and pains that I used to have before HRT back .. my arthritis plays up too in my fingers ( on HRT it wasn’t so bad )
Small signs makes me think that it’s coming out .. just this aniexty and jitteryness and panic is making me think still have to wait a while for the rest xxx

[Suzysheep]

I’ve had to cancel our holiday in October. It was for my 50th, but I know I won’t be right by then… and I don’t want to pressure myself into going when I can hardly leave the house!!
Hopefully you will be much better by Christmas x

The hot flushes must mean my levels are going down now. That might be why I’m extra anxious too… and have a headache…. The dr said the hormones will go quickly after I stopped HRT… but this proves it takes weeks for them to start declining.

Your aches and pains sound like they are reappearing as the levels go down too…. It just takes soooo long….

[Michelle7474]

Awwww it’s bad when we know we can’t do things , sorry you had to cancel
But hopefully you can book up somewhere again soon ..

It was my pharmacist who told me could take 3-6 months for our hormones to level out .. she said because we have added extra the body as got used to it , she said so now they have to get used to not having extra and she said then it as to figure out that it won’t be getting no more and level off

When I was on mini pill for 15/20 years took about 3 month maybe 4 for my body to settle but wasn’t no aniexty coming off that but I do remember feeling agaitated bloated and just not right
But nothing to this extreme

If I ever need to know anything I phone my pharmacist she is lovely and explains everything she can , more informative than the GP because she isn’t pushed for time
I Explained everything to her as in how it all started and She was the one who told me that I shoulda been started on a lower dose not gone straight to 50 and also that maybe my body didn’t need it so I coulda over loaded my hormones which kicked off the aniexty more ..
I wish I could go back to there .. but I can’t .. so have to March forward

I’m gutted about your holiday Suzy.. but I’ll be same if I’m not right .. I’m not going on holiday to sit in a room and shake .. simple as that. Xxx

[Suzysheep]

I know that if I was to force myself to go, I would end up hysterically crying at my husband breathing loudly….. yes… I do that!! My nerves are shredded and my senses heightened.
When I was pregnant with my last son I had that extreme morning sickness… it’s got a name I can’t remember..but my sense of smell was heightened beyond belief… I was like a dog… I could smell peoples washing on their lines… washing up water in the kitchen through 2 closed doors… the shoe cupboard!! It was miserable and it all made me very sick….. that was obviously hormonal… maybe this time it’s my hearing sensitivity, not smell?? Hmmmm

You’re lucky with your pharmacist… mines rubbish!  Ask what anxiety meds are best for me! Lol

I say every day that I regret HRT… but like you say, we can’t go back… just have to Wade through the sea to get to our desert island!! X

[Michelle7474]

It’s so strange how our body’s react to hormones ..
I agree tho I’m not forcing myself to do anything that I personally think I can’t handle .. I will keep taking small steps ready and willing for the day I can leap

I was thinking earlier I’ve taken my sinus spray… I used this daily for well over a year as I suffered sinus and ear pain all the time from no where !! Nothing was found wrong but  pain on and off for well over 2 years and only thing you see on my doctors page is ears/nose I never seen doc about anything else as I’m under the hospital for my blood
When I took HRT .. I noticed I’ve not had to use the spray ..until today I thought oh I need to use my spray
So as the sinus/ear for past 2 years actually been hormonal … I said this to my husband and he just looked at me like I’m a nobhead lol
But it’s wierd ..

I think he looks at me sometimes and thinks where the hell you get all this from lol 😂
He as trouble understanding it as said he watched me go from happy go lucky to a bag of nerves and he can’t see why … join the club mate neither can I lol

He listens and he is always supportive , he will do anything that I can’t do & apart from he tries to help me overcome things.. it wouldn’t faze him if he didn’t have a meal or I hadn’t cleaned because he knows that the reason would be I couldn’t do it.. but that’s what marriage is about helping each other and he always says you made me who I am today ( I didn’t make him grumpy lol ) & I’m forever grateful that you came into my life and we in this together .. and knowing that helps …even though in myself I feel bad he had to see some of the things because he hurts too .. I’m living it he was feeling it.

How does your husband feel about it all ? Does he understand it ?  Do your boys know ?

My son just says mom it will pass .. you will be fine I know you will , when he phones he says how are you today .. you had any funny turns lol

I have to laugh to stop myself being sad .. and one thing this aniexty never took was my mouth and sense of humour xx

[Suzysheep]

My husband is great. Very patient, very understanding… considering he is the source of most of my noise sensitivity he feels bad… but I say it’s not you, it’s the noise… but he does everything without being asked. He just says I’m ill and I will get better. God I hope so!

My older sons know….. my middle son and his girlfriend brought me around a present this week as I’ve been struggling so much.. it was different herbal teas, a herbal rub for women’s hormones, one for sleep, a journal and a worry stone to rub. It was so sweet of them it made me cry * 100% his girlfriends idea!!Lol
My youngest has autism and learning difficulties, so I try and hide it as best I can from him, he gets upset and doesn’t understand… plus he’s got about as much empathy as a flip flop! We just tell him I’m ill. X

[Michelle7474]

It’s good to have a good family Suzy ❤️ And that’s what drives us forward

Seems your middle son  girlfriend is a keeper .. bless them both
It’s good to keep it from the younger son bless him ..
my son just says mom your fragile at the min but soon you be back to your old self .. I always think I hope so.
And same with husband .. I said what if this is me forever now ., he said so be it , we in it together ..
I remember he was on steroids for 8 week course and he was the most snappiest person I’ve ever met and snappy about nothing ..I knew it was the medication but I always pulled him up on it .. and I remember saying .. you wait till I hit menopause pay back is a bitch and we used to laugh about it ….. think I might have jinxed myself 😂😂
My granddaughter is 16 weeks old tomorrow and I remember her sitting on my lap and I’m like .. am I your nutty nana and I have a picture of her on my lap laughing and I keep looking at it laughing thinking wait till your older so I can tell you what you was laughing at.

All laughs aside tho .. we will beat this and this isn’t the rest of our life’s .. this is just us for a short while till our bodies eventually settle .. 100% we will be ok and better
I do look at people my age and think omg how come you look ok & all my school friends at the pub .. and I’m thinking jeez did it just happen to me.
but we never know what someone is feeling underneath xxx

[Suzysheep]

A tough morning so far and it’s not even 9am!

I was sick last night…. And I’ve been sick again this morning… nothing to bring up.. just going through the motions.
I’ve phoned the drs and am awaiting a call back.
Surely it’s not right to be going backwards? I’ve been on the citalopram 5 weeks now, I would have thought it would be doing something right now?
My anxiety feels like it’s worse than ever… I can’t even face going for a swim.

Bloody hormones!! I’m absolutely burnt out.

[Michelle7474]

I hope you get a call of GP with some help Suzy
Sorry to hear you are having a bad morning

I was up through the night and didn’t sleep great .. this morning I can feel it brewing & I think it’s because I have hospital appointment today at 3 and I always get panicked about going .. which is the strangest thing as I’ve been going 28 years to do same thing ( bloods )
It’s bizzare & I will never understand how I can go like this

I do hope your day gets better .. I’m gonna try and do whatever I have to ( I’m dry heaving ) because of panic it’s effing stupid and winds me up so much

I’m like you ., how much longer .. when is it gonna start tailing off .. when will I be me again .. jeeeeeeeeeez

Suzy let me know how you get on with GP xx

[Suzysheep]

I will, thanks Michelle.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so anxious too. It’s crazy what this has done.
I get the dry heaving. Even though you’ve been to the hospital millions of times, when you’re anxious, you’re anxious about everything.

I hope it goes ok xxxx let us know xxx

[Michelle7474]

I will do , got a long wait till 3 that’s why I gonna try and take my mind off it .. usually once I’m done in there I’m fine .. so I don’t know why panic sets in to be honest .. awful it is
And I can’t take rescue remedy as it will interfere with my INR
So today only I can calm me down ..

When I went about a month  ago I had full on aniexty in there but they let me sit it out .. then did bloods and i left I felt ok
Then two weeks ago I went in fine and then had racing heart but again once it was done & I left I was fine
Today I’m having it done by finger , so dunno why the panic is there to be honest and that’s why I can’t understand it all. Finger is quicker & will know my INR straight away .. I used to always do it this way but then you sometimes have to wait around for doctor to tell you if any change of dose .. where as if I go in and do my vein they will phone up with results the same or next day if anything as changed
But finger prick is best way when your heart is racing as it’s quick and simple

Hope you don’t have to wait all day for a call back Suzy ..
On a good note my head don’t feel as bad today ,, suppose that’s a good thing xx

[Suzysheep]

I’ve had a call back from the practice mental health nurse.
She said if I thought the citalopram wasn’t working and I wanted to change I would have to start weaning myself off it 10mg at a time. She recommended ventalaxine as it’s apparently very good for menopausal anxiety.
I’m terrified of weaning down to be honest, but I don’t see I’ve got any other choices. Damned if I do damned if I don’t.  She also said there was an antihistamine they prescribed instead of diazepam which knocks you out. Apparently it’s used in mental health hospitals. The thing is, I don’t want to be knocked out… I just don’t want to feel like an anxious mess.


It’s horrible waiting so long for the appointment. Try to distract yourself as much as you can.  It’s a shame you can’t take rescue remedy. 
It’s awful not being in control of the panic . Xx