Menu


Menopause Matters Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Please have a look at the questionnaire page if you have a spare minute.

media

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4

Author Topic: Bedroom ?  (Read 6704 times)

loveydovey

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 41
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #15 on: March 02, 2021, 08:43:49 AM »
Thanks Ladies.
I think i have taken this post, my apologies, it was not my intention, its just as i can relate to it.
I have applied for a Non Molestation order, its with the court now, he has somewher to go, i do not.
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 74838
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #16 on: March 02, 2021, 09:45:26 AM »
Contact a womens' refuge for advice.   Knowledge is power.

Often men want out so they cause mayhem as they don't know how to confront the issue!
« Last Edit: March 02, 2021, 09:47:34 AM by CLKD »
Logged

loveydovey

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 41
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #17 on: March 02, 2021, 12:27:00 PM »
HiDone that.NCDV are much more helpful.
Thank you..

Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 74838
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2021, 12:46:35 PM »
NCDV being a Charity?
Logged

loveydovey

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 41
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2021, 02:49:16 PM »
Yes
Logged

VikkiP

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 33
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2021, 12:48:54 PM »
Well, i too am in this predicament, i just dont love him anymore and want to be single, but terrified of making the move.
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 74838
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2021, 02:03:15 PM »
Get information so that you have knowledge on which to make your decision?
Logged

jaypo

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2734
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #22 on: March 04, 2021, 03:26:32 PM »
Do you work Vikki? Before my now OH came along I was looking to go from part time to full time work so I could afford a 1 bedroom flat with my daughter but sadly the older we get the harder it is.
The other option is staying with someone and putting your name down for a council house but it all takes time,it was NEVER an option for me to go to a refuge,I couldn't have handled that
Logged

VikkiP

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 33
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2021, 04:37:39 PM »
It’s not that Jaypo, i work, i have money, i just don’t want to hurt him, which he obviously will be, as he has no idea.
I worry way too much about other peoples feelings, rather than my own x
Logged

Kathleen

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4595
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2021, 05:56:59 PM »
Hello ladies

My neighbour is in a similar position and I wish I knew how to help her. There is no violence or abuse but she tells me that they are either arguing or not talking. Lockdown hasn't helped as he is working from home and she is there most of the time, her only income is from a part time job. I asked her if things have become worse since their two sons recently left home to go to university but she said she's been unhappy for a long time.

It seems so unfair, they are both unhappy but he has a good job and can manage financially but goodness knows what she will do. She gave up work to raise their sons and only did part time work when they were older. Now they are twenty one and nineteen they are away studying but I am sure they would want a home to come back to at some stage.

I told her that she could come and live in our spare room but obviously she wants a more suitable solution!

 I am the only person she has confided in over the years and of course I've never betrayed her confidence so if they do split up it will be a shock to everyone who knows them because they appear to be a happy family.

I hope everyone in a similar situation can find a way through it all.

Wishing you all well.

K.








Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 74838
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2021, 06:05:14 PM »
Vikki - he may be looking for a way out? Men often 'put up with' or bury their heads   ........  you need to have that conversation in order 4 U both to move on.
Logged

VikkiP

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 33
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2021, 10:53:17 AM »
Yes CLKD, a conversation should be had, he really has no idea, and he loves me, but i just dont feel it anymore, we spend everyday together and its just too much, i need space x
Logged

Postmeno3

  • Guest
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #27 on: March 05, 2021, 12:22:14 PM »
Open communication is vital. You seem to be "suffering in silence"? This is futile. Frankly, unkind. Sorry. It would be different if he were harming you in any way, but this doesn't seem to be the case whatsoever. Why not have a chat with Relate? I believe one party can do this, possibly by e-mail even and I know it helped me massively years ago. Yes, to leave, but to leave with grace.
An external, neutral sounding board can be very helpful to give you the confidence to air whatever needs aired and to explore your true feelings so that you can be real when the two of you talk meaningfully and kindly together, whatever the outcome. Things may all surprise you once a dialogue is opened up? It just all feels like you are keeping this big secret and that's not healthy for either of you, ultimately. Good luck!
« Last Edit: March 05, 2021, 01:56:13 PM by Postmeno3 »
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 74838
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #28 on: March 05, 2021, 12:55:36 PM »
But not opening up; people who won't talk; are stopping themselves and partner from moving on to find happiness. 
« Last Edit: March 05, 2021, 04:14:26 PM by CLKD »
Logged

VikkiP

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 33
Re: Bedroom ?
« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2021, 01:59:43 PM »
We have always had trouble talking, i keep things very close to my chest.

I don’t know what to do, i guess just maybe give it a bit more time, take each day as it comes?
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4
« previous next »
 

Adverts on this website are not endorsed by Menopause Matters
Advertisements
ad