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[jillydoll]

You mean English jay? Or Brummie.? 🤣😂

I often played the flute. Pied piper was my name! 🤣😂

[Lanzalover]

I'd be able to speak fluent Spanish.

Otherwise I wouldn't change a thing all things considered I've had a wonderful life.

Lanzalover x

[getting_old]

It's like that film Sliding Doors where a few seconds can make a big difference. I realise that we can't change the past, but we can learn from the mistakes we make to ensure we don't make them again. I chose not to take a really major career opportunity in order to look after my mother. I really, really regretted that, and I decided that I wouldn't make the same mistake again, and I've made a real effort to take every opportunity since.

[jaypo]

I agree,life is a learning process,you've two paths to choose from,it's up to you which one you choose

[squeaker99]

My kids violin teacher took up the violin at 60 (self taught) and now in his 70s teaches and plays first violin in an orchestra.
There is a guy who jogs in our town who has jogged almost every day of his adult life - he is in his 70s but has the body of a fit
20 year old.

These people inspire me. All I seem to do is right ' to do' lists of things I never get round to doing or start something then drop it!

Time for another cup of coffee and piece of cake...

[Ladybt28]

I have only recently worked out how to answer this question and now I have it worked out, I try to avoid answering it as you will see later but here goes:
I would have gone University and studied Law (favorite and best subject at college, along with Government, Politics and Business Studies) and not listened to my mother who said "yes, you go to university to be a doctor or a lawyer...anything else is a waste of time....but you're not clever enough anyway - get a job".

If I had got away from her I think the path I took in life would have been very different but I didn't manage to get away from her. I looked after her until she died (she had a disability when I was born that got worse as she got older) when I was 32 and all that time she had a big influence on my life (an over-developed sense of responsibility and "doing the right thing" which is all welland good but "the right thing according to who"?) and pretty much shaped everything.  My Brother escaped mind at 17 to go and live with his girlfiend, yet me going to uni was considered unthinkable.

I should have left my ex-husband earlier but then if I had done that I wouldn't have met my "new" (20 years mind) husband.

If I could shape the ideal world from the beginning - I would have gone to uni, and/or travelled being a lawyer, and/or taught English as a foreign language in lots of countries in the world (mainly hot countries!  ) and met my lovely husband and shared all that with him.  He loves to travel too and we would have bought Landrovers (he loves them and his ideal life would be buying them and doing them up) and/or a motor home and if I had any spare time I would have spent it decorating old furniture to sell cos I'm good at that too (apparently anything creative "isn't a proper job" either according to mother's wisdom)     Sorry for the "anger" but it tends to flood out...I try never to dwell on what might have been because looking back on "what was" is extremely painful  - but you did ask!  xx

[jaypo]

Great post ladybt 💖 I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason,I too should've left my ex many years before I did BUT if I had I doubt too that I would have been with my now wonderful husband 
I did my dream job and was a groom,all the careers advisors at school said to me that I'd never get a job like that and to concentrate on my secretarial skills,which I did but I still got my job with horses

[CLKD]

Good thread 

I wanted to be a vet: Mum pointed out that a) I can't add up or take away so pets wouldn't get proper injections and b) I don't like getting up early on cold, frosty, wet nights/early mornings 

'there'll always be a place for you scrubbing floors in Woolies' she used to mutter 

Hindsight: now that I am aware of mother's personalty flaws I would be more talkative to my Dad instead of stepping back in case he lost his temper   

I wouldn't change much.  I've not done badly over-all.  There are a few times when I've said/done stupid things ........ and have acted hurtful with certain people when I shouldn't have done and would like to put that 'right' now: but can't contact those people.  I worry that they were scarred by my actions 

[Pennyfarthing]

I would do what “I” wanted.  I was always trying to please other people.  I listened to my Dad who said I needed a job where I worked 9-5 but why he said that is a mystery to me now because he always worked similar hours most of his life. 

There are countless other examples I could give but I'm not going into them on here.  Suffice to say I feel like I missed out on a lot because I listened to others too much and was afraid of upsetting anyone.

[jaycee]

The first thing i would change is i would go to grammar school when i passed my 11 plus when i had the chance, but instead went to a secondary school where my friends went ,
Second i wouldn't get married at 17, i had 3 lovely children but the marriage didn't last long, due to mental cruelty, and 3rd, i wouldn't have married a second time, similiar scenario to the first time, but i had 2 lovely twin boys, it was all downhill from there
#So really i would change everything from 15 onwards

[Ju Ju]

If l had realised that there was nothing wrong with me, contrary to what my mother told me, I would have achieved more earlier in life. Eg passed my driving test many years before I did (was told I was an accident waiting to happen), learnt to sing as a child rather than after retirement ( apparently I was too nervous......really?) However, I did achieve other things despite Mum. I qualified as a teacher despite being told I wasn't clever enough, married a lovely man, despite being told I wouldn't be able to cope with a relationship. And I'm a mum who champions and believes in her own children. As a consequence, we enjoy being around each other. It wasn't until I was in my late thirties, that I realised how damaging my mother's attitude to me was. She started treating my son like she did me. I wasn't having that. Because of Mum though, I understood how subtle and powerful an influence I could be in a positive way in both my parenting and as a teacher. And after all, it's never too late to learn new skills. I'm learning Italian initially using an app, but next year, I hope to start lessons.

[jaypo]

Good post ju ju and you should be proud of yourself for your achievements.Theres a few of us on here who's upbringing was similar,although I think it now doesn't affect me,I'm very much the way I am because of my upbringing, I guess you could say,I'm flawed 

[CLKD]

Unless 1 wants hair that looks like straw   

I stood back as a teen and decided what I needed in my marriage.  I was able to dis-associate to a degree whilst away from the house but as soon as I stepped over that door step 

Old habits die hard.  I seem to have been ploughing through treacle, keeping my head down.  I wouldn't change that as it was what I was raised like, but I have been able to adjust my habits (I think). 

I would have listened to the Grannies more!

[Ladybt28]

I used to be "blonde".... out of a bottle of course.  I had naturally fair hair when I was a child but it darkened to very light brown so it was easy to go blond, but I used to use it!  People sometimes assumed I had "blonde" intelligence years ago when it was a "thing"  You know people say patronisingly (Stellajane you know what I mean  ) "oh are you having a blonde moment" etc and all the blonde jokes!

When I met my 2nd husband I was a blonde and he caught on straight away that I would play up to it if I had to and would use it to my advantage.  Whenever I wanted someone to confirm something which I already knew or get them to do something for me I just used to put on my "blonde face and my blonde voice" and off I would go pretending I was as thick as THEY thought I was!! Especially car mechanics - my husband always sent me to get the car MOT'd - he'd say "go and do your blonde thing". No one caught on they were all too busy with their own prejudices.

I changed my hair colour as it got greyer and I became "more invisible" - it's now mahogany red! (more red than brown  ) - everyone can see me coming!   Can still act "blonde" on the phone though!

[Sparrow]

I think what is more exciting is 'What can you do now'.