Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Bobidy]

Hi, is anybody else embarrassed to go to their gp anymore?

I know I shouldn't be, but I dread now going to my doctors. My record screams hypochondriac / Münchausen syndrome with the shear amount of appointments, negative test results, multitude of symptoms etc over the last few years.

Obviously I now know it's all been the downward spiral of horrible perimenopause related stuff but they never made the link then or even now and I had to go private in shear desperation for that to happen!

I always find myself apologising when I have an appointment now which is crazy and I get so cross with myself afterwards. I'm tempted to change surgerys, but then my record will be the same.

This is just a bit of a rant really. I wish women's health care was better understood and surely it would save the Nhs an absolute fortune.

Rant over.

[squeaker99]

Yes yes yes yes and yes......I have seen every GP at my practise and there are some I swear roll their eyes when I go it.
Yes to the miriad of blood/monitor/up the bum tests - all negative.  Yes to feeling relief in telling someone other than my long
suffering husband how crap I feel. Then I leave and realise I really haven't got any answers - no reasons why I feel so low, sleep so bad.
Just some more pills. I wish we had a US style therapist system here. I think sometimes I  just need someone to have a good impartial winge to. I have resorted to phone calls now!

[Jeepers]

Hi Bobidy

Me too!  I actually feel like I can't go to the doctors anymore because they are so sick of me.  Then of course we worry that if there is something really wrong, we wont get a diagnosis because we don't go, OR the doctor doesn't take us seriously as they think we are crying wolf all the time.

I shudder to think how much money I have spent on private health care/ tests etc this year, it must run into thousands!

I really want to have hypnotherapy, I went for the initial consultation.  It will be £60 per session, and it takes 12 sessions... I feel so guilty that I am even contemplating it!

Jeepers xx

[CLKD]

STOP!!!!

GPs are there to treat patients.  Think of your over-all health needs.  Certain conditions appear at certain times of Life.  Some people are ill B4 birth.  The NHS is there for us.

I suggest that you make a list of your symptoms.  Talk to your Practice Nurse and ask for advice on your problems.  She can then advise.  Ours does a well woman clinic and we have Nurse Practitioners who can prescribe.  We also have a dedicated ear nurse ........ she does other things but ears is her bag.

Get rid of the guilt.  Overall we aren't hypochondriacs but ladies who need advice - it's The Change, it does what it says on the tin. 

YOU can change your mind set.  STOP assuming that others think along the same lines.  You are a drop in the ocean, practitioners won't be thinking about you between 1 appt. and the next, they won't be thinking A, B, C ............

When I was very ill I had no choice than to go to my GP and eventually a Psychiatrist.  I've paid my Insurance via my pay packet - which in all honesty doesn't cover me to walk through the GP's door these days.  I never thought that I wasn't worth it ;-)

[racjen]

YEs CKLD, couldn't have put it better myself. GPs are here to serve us - we shouldn't have to feel we're a burden to them whatever the condition. The GP I saw originally was absolute pants, I always the felt I got my regulation 10 mins and then she'd get up and open the door for me. I changed GPs (within the same practice) and this one has been wonderful, really caring, checks up on me regularly and gives me as much time as I need. She was on holiday when I took the overdose, but as soon as she got back she phoned me to see how I was doing. And in many ways I think we do seem to be better off than a lot of the country medically down here - there's never any problem getting an appointment, often on the same day. Thank go for the good old health service! xxxx

[CLKD]

Tnx racjen -  it reminds me of when I had a private Psychologist who would begin to arrive at the appt. later and later and get up to leave 'I have another meeting' - so I was paying for 35 mins instead of 60!  I didn't go back.

It's because ladies aren't always certain of symptoms and how to explain how they feel, already vulnerable ........ I was the same with depression, I was unable to put my feelings over.   My husband went to appts. with me.  So when I felt ill I had no extra energy to ask for what I required.

I told my GP when he arrived not to tell me 'you've got what is going round'.  I told him that if I went to the Surgery it was because I was ill.  We worked a good relationship, mainly because I was in the NHS previously and wasn't intimidated.  However, 2 years ago I had blood tests with another GP for low VitD symptoms: she was insistent that I took statins ........ no explanation really but "YOU WILL".  So I went to our GP and he explained that guidelines had altered in recent years and once I understood, I agreed.  But her attitude!!! gave no quarter  .

Making an a double appt. if possible and taking a list might help.  My GP takes my list and reads it  .  If we go anywhere with the attitude that we might be seen as a nuisance we are already on the back foot and if we feel ill it makes everything harder.

  who are struggling.

[ElkWarning]

Think of it this way.  GPs operate on a system whereby if you don't reappear in front of them for six weeks they effectively consider you cured and you're filed.  In other words, to access treatment you have to go back repeatedly, it's how the system works.  Also, CLKD is right, GPs are there to provide health care to us, it's their job, if they don't like their job, then that's their problem, not yours.  They're also required, as part of their job, to have some semblance of a bedside manner (it's taught in med schools, has been for years, they can't actually pass to be a GP unless they can prove they have a good one), if they're failing to carry out their role, complain about them.

In the end, I think this is about power, and the relationship between patient and doctor.  They don't have the right to hold some imaginary power over you.  The ethics that they operate under clearly states this.

Sorry you're having a rubbish time.

x

[Bobidy]

Thanks everyone. I know you're absolutely right. I think I'm more frustrated than anything else.

I think it's the perimenopause they struggle with, particularly if you don't have night sweats, still have periods etc they just don't know, recognise or acknowledge all the other horrible symptoms.

I've been going about these for the last couple of years. Ive written it down, made double appointments, tried to give them info, repeated what Dr Newson has said. There was a big strop when I said I'd self referred in December!

I finally saw a locum in May who was great and actually read Dr Newsons letter and agreed to prescribing the Oestrogel. She is now on maternity leave so I know I'm going to have a battle next week with the testosterone bit. I'm happy to pay for the private Androfemme as it isn't available on the Nhs yet, but I really want the blood tests done there to keep my costs down. I've printed off the BMS guidelines and the meds leaflet. I think I'm just going to say that I'm happy to pay for private meno care but feel the blood tests and prescription should be on the NHS and see what they say.

I'm nothing but polite with them but now I finally know what it all is I've got the fire in my belly that I've suffered for so long unnecessarily, with vague diagnosis' of 'fibromyalgia', or 'you must be stressed', or 'here's some Amytripoline', or 'the blood test shows you're not menopausal' etc.

I know we are really really lucky to have the Nhs, but the peri/meno care and training needs a massive overhaul to ensure its consistency nationwide. It would benefit them enormously and save them so much money in the long run.

Another rant over. I must have PMS! x

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies

GPs surgeries are businesses meaning we don't  have much of a national health service anymore hence post code lottery problems. The government has been dismantling the NHS for years and I expect that will continue unless there is a change of political direction.

I've always found it frustrating to talk to GPs about my menopausal issues, they seem to have a very limited understanding of the problems that we face. Before I discovered this forum I relied on a book which was  written by an MD and included all aspects of 'the change'. If I hadn't had this book I would seriously worry that I was going mad. This reassured me that there is knowledge out there but experience taught me that it didn't always filter down to GPs or even consultants.

I think rather than be embarrassed to talk to our doctors we should feel that we are educating them and preparing them for the next distraught woman of a certain age who needs their help. Eventually they will have heard the same story enough times to realise that what we are experiencing is real and not imagined and we need effective help.

In the meantime onwards and upwards ladies.

Take care all.

K.

[Bobidy]

I have thought of speaking to the practice manager about it. Not in a confrontational way but to give them the guidelines, BMS stuff, and links to Dr Newsons training stuff as the RCGP is now using it as a resource. I would hate to think that anybody had to go through the same cr** as me for the sake of the gps just being uninformed.

Then there is no excuse is there.

As women we spend so much time at the docs simply just because we are female with periods, contraception, fertility, pregnancy, childbirth, peri, and finally menopause problems. I don't think I've ever been about something not related to those things.

[ElkWarning]

What Kathleen says is correct, they are businesses. It was written into the NHS on creation - because doctors didn't want to lose their cash cows and refused to support the welfare state ... a GP practice is the same sort of legal entity as a solicitors practice, that's why they both have 'Partners'. The 'profits' they make from patients, via recharges to the NHS, are what determines salary, etc. I think this set up goes a long way towards explaining some of the issues.

[CLKD]

Same here.  Without my GP ...........  if I go to an appt. and don't get what I need I make an appt for a couple of weeks and go in, "I wasn't listening properly can you remind me X, Y, Z".  The GP might have given bad news prior to my going in, or been up all night whilst someone dies.  Many though still think that women aren't menopausal unless the complain of hot flushes and many don't like patients going in tooled up with info off the internet  .

Our Surgery puts up on their web-site what our GPs earn.  I expect that many surgeries do, if patients could be bothered to read the information.  Our Surgery has a patient forum with regular meetings with Staff and Practice Manager. 

Surgeries get paid per patient.  They also have to pay for each referral appt. for each patient apparently.  I'm sure if patients asked more they would learn more  .  Trouble is, how many think of their Surgery and Staff until they require assistance? 

GPs that trained in the 1980s are now reaching retirement.  Those GPs are not being replaced because young Doctors don't feel supported and in many areas, the NHS is an un-safe working environment.  Which is why my sister sadly left the NHS. 

[Lyncola]

I'm having this same problem, my doctor is good, but I'm must drive her crazy with all my questions and the test I have. I'm from Australia with the Medicare system. My doctor charges me, I lucky she doesn't charge for every appointment. But I'm still out of pocket $35, plus now got to pay for some blood test, I already spent $200 this year. And then there's breast ultrasound and mammogram over $500, I get half back with Medicare. And I got my first appointment coming up with a rheumatologist $350, half back with Medicare. So this going to the doctor and doing test to find out if it could be something else is costing me a lots of money.
But I worry if I don't do this there could be something serious wrong with me. 
But I am loving menopause matters. It's helped me a lot

[shrosphirelass]

I know what you mean Bobidy. It's got to the point that I feel I should make an appointment in advance because I will likely need it and partly becaudse it's so difficult to get an appointment when you need one. My GP is really great and at my last appointment he asked me to come back in a month so he scould check on me which really made me feel better as it made me feel that I wasn't being a nuisance. Having said that I still feel embarassed, especially as I've got different issues to discuss.

[CLKD]

At least we have options.  Many places across the World haven't access to even an Aspirin  so grab those appts with both hands, take a list of symptoms and 'work' through what you need.