On my worst days, full of pity and misery and anxiety and upset, I was much better if I were with other people doing things. So going to work and actually working (not sitting in an office talking to someone who is asking you questions about how you feel, which will only ever deliver the full awfulness in force), getting stuck into something, talking to others about work and their lives etc. made me calm down and feel so much better. Being alone was bad. I work alone, so that was a double whammy for me, I had to go out and seek people in different units around me, the coffee shop or the book shop on site etc, or ring them, but when I made myself do it I felt much better.
Maybe it's an act. So what, who cares, if it helps to get the day through successfully. I don't think sitting around at home, on Google and feeling sorry for ourselves, lamenting what we think we have lost, is ever good for us. I have always been much worse at weekends when I have no schedule to stick to. When people ask "how are you?" just say "fine" and move straight into asking them the same so that the conversation can move on. No one really asks that question expecting anything other than "fine" really anyway.
Have you had a blood test to see if your oestrogen levels are accurately mirroring the dose you are using? Perhaps you are not absorbing from the patch properly.
