Hello again,
I forgot about this question (among other things!) but thanks for your replies. I have GP appointment next week so will make a list of things to ask. I've had counselling 3 times and while it helped short term, I know I need something else now too. All I want to do most of the time is very little, read, play the piano, be in my bed (can be for 11 hours at a time as I feel safe and out of the way there) and this annoys my husband as he is a very active, fast-forward kind of man. He is super-sweet to others, it's like flicking on a switch and he goes from "bear with a sore head" to "can't do enough to help". I brought this up yesterday and he said I was exactly the same. I used to sometimes say thanks to him for being such a lovely man and helping (with chores etc) and he said he's nice to me if I'm nice to him. That's a big responsibility if him being sweet and nice to me is only as a result of me being sweet and nice to him?
Oh I'm tying myself up in knots here! Jillydoll, when you say antihistamines helped you - how did that work? I have some for when I get hayfever badly and can't sleep, so hopefully that's a potential help. I wish sometimes that I hadn't retired as I feel kind of homesick and miss the people I worked with very much. I have never cried so much for so long EVER, I'm worried about forgetting so much, being so lazy, my hair coming out, looking a mess, my nails breaking and being sore, not being able to make simple decisions never mind harder ones...........if I likes the taste of alcohol I could quite happily drink myself into oblivion.
Goodness me, I came on here meaning to ask advice for a firming cream for crepey skin on my neck/bust and hooded eyelids, sorry it has turned into such a moan.
Poppi x