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[Spangles]

Hi
 I've got my self into a bit of an anxious state! Today we have a huge family gathering for special birthday. I will be seeing family members I have never met and some I haven't seen in 15 years. I just feel sick and anxious. Does anyone else feel like this in these situations? If I don't go there will be questions asked and I will also feel I have given into the anxiety.
Thanks
xXx

[kpatton56]

Hi Shellb
I think lots of us feel apprehensive in those circumstances. Just remember you don't have to make a grand entrance. There will be lots of people so you won't be the focus of attention. You will speak to a few people but not all as there won't be the time or opportunity. Just go with the flow and don't put yourself under any pressure! Hope it goes well 😀

[Ju Ju]

And remember, others will be feeling the same! Most people are more interested in themselves, which is natural. If you find your self having a conversation with someone, just ask them questions. My DH and I go to these kind of functions playing a game to see if you can avoid talking about yourself and getting others to talk. It takes the focus off yourself and it can be very interesting. It's fun trying to find people's 'hot buttons'. The trouble is you occasionally meet someone who is better at this than yourself and you find yourself talking about you!

[wombat62]

Sorry to hear about your MIL Sparkle...

[Spangles]

Thanks so much ladies. Since I started my menopause I've just preferred to be in my own little bubble and when I have to come out of it I suffer. I'm off to Venice tomorrow with my OH and I always get anxious before I travel so I have a lot going on right now. My fear is having an anxiety attack in front of everyone and having to explain myself.
xXx
P.S. I think of pj's and snuggles too Sparkle
You are all so kind and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one xXx

[SadLynda]

sorry for your loss Sparkle xx

Shellb, at my worst I often used 'rescue remedy' to help me through these occasions - have you tried that?  I still dont like them, but since being on AD's I am a lot better now, I am not 'scared' as such just rather not.  Far happier in my own bubble too.

[CLKD]

  Sparkle

I always find out where the loo is as soon as I arrive anywhere, that's my 'go to' place ………. we have a funeral on the horizon  …………. I also have my emergency tablet to swallow.

You have put yourself into two potentially difficult situations: allowing anxiety to layer itself - bugga.  Why do we feel we have to explain ourselves  , I still think that I will spoil an event for others if I can't attend or have to leave early. 

Will you enjoy your holiday?

[babyjane]

my sincere condolences sparkle ((hug)) x

well we have just had a big family weekend and I was getting in a state last week about it, convinced I wouldn't cope (I have been having treatment for anxiety related difficulties for 8 months now).

Well, I have had the best weekend and I am feeling so encouraged.  I am tired and I have a headache from red wine and chocolate cake plus too much sun and lots of photos but it was wonderful.

I wore myself out with worrying and anticipating stuff that never happened.  I made the choice to enjoy it and guess what - I did

[CLKD]

Well done you!  Anticipation anxiety is sooooo tiring 

[babyjane]

tell me about it, really silly habit but all part and parcel of an anxiety disorder.  I have been cocooned with love this weekend and it did me the world of good.

[Annie0710]

Menopause has given me social anxiety, I've become a hermit because of it and lost many 'friends' not really friends as my few true ones still like to hear from me although they don't know that I'm suffering

I've not told docs about it as I want to treat the cause not the symptom but if I don't get help I will go and pour my heart out

I can't quite describe mine only to say in any social situation, pub, cafe, shop etc I am ok'ish whilst walking, it's the minute I stand still, heart thumps, I feel faint and I want to run, I'm still not sure if it is a POTS type of thing happening or not but I emailed a local cognitive hypnotherapist to help me.  We've struck a good rapport and she said she finds me so good and easy to chat to, first session was free to see whether I'd like her, she doesn't kick me out after the hour, in fact this week I went in at 3.30 and came out at 5.20! She used to be ward sister on our local gynae ward so happily chats hormones too.  She commented she likes how realistic I am and how I pick my problem apart trying to pinpoint triggers and solve them (obviously not that good at it hence why I'm seeing her)

Next session starts properly, she'll be delving into my past relationships and will kind of put me in a trance, and I have realised its got to be hormone related, back when I entered puberty I had similar episodes but desensitisation or disociation , used to scare the living day lights out of me, I've only recently read what they meant, as a 15/16 years old girl I thought I was dying during them and my soul was leaving my body lol, anyhow her ears ****ed up at this and she said she'd like to put me in those 'out of body' things again, I told her no no no, I never ever want to feel that bad again, so she said she'd do the stage in between the feelings of then and how I feel now

As I was leaving she said if a time comes I can't afford these sessions to tell her because her desire to help me far outweighs what she earns, I thought that was quite sweet

I've rambled but needed to let you know I'm a fellow sufferer and I hate it

Annie x

[CLKD]

You ramble away ………. 

[Justjules]

Hi Annie, she sounds like a really good find!  It makes such a difference when you can relate to someone who's there to help you.  I'm lucky that I too have a good therapist, although she hasn't offered to lower her fee unfortunately! 

I'm getting more and more like this in social situations - really hate them now, especially work-related ones and would really just like to stay at home.  I've never been good at standing chatting either as it makes me feel as if I need to sit down and always insist on sitting down in a Pub much to hubby's annoyance.  Hope it goes well for you.x

[Annie0710]

Hi Annie, she sounds like a really good find!  It makes such a difference when you can relate to someone who's there to help you.  I'm lucky that I too have a good therapist, although she hasn't offered to lower her fee unfortunately! 

I'm getting more and more like this in social situations - really hate them now, especially work-related ones and would really just like to stay at home.  I've never been good at standing chatting either as it makes me feel as if I need to sit down and always insist on sitting down in a Pub much to hubby's annoyance.  Hope it goes well for you.x

That's EXACTLY like me!
But, I think added to that is a degree of vertigo/POTS type thing going on, slouching on the sofa now I keep going 'swimmy ' , no anxiety

Lowering my oestrogen has calmed my palpitations down but I feel weak anyway, energy and muscular-wise, add the SA into the mix and I'm a mess

I did say at the first meeting with this lady finances will play a part, I pay private for dentist every 3 months, healthwise I've got my fiancé a pretty packet this past year or so !
But it was comforting that her desire to help outweighs her desire for a big bank balance

Annie x

[Justjules]

Have you been diagnosed with POTS Annie? It's supposed to make your heart rate faster when getting up and down and a difference in blood pressure readings from standing to sitting from what I read. It can also mean you feel faint when standing like we used to do in school assembly etc.