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[Annie0710]

Testosterone tests for women are very vague and not at all reliable as the labs parameters are for men,they dont go down low enough for women as I understand it. 

It was the nurse that suggested it, she said she'd be surprised if mine were OK levels, and she said she'd fight my corner for a trial of it .  When I left there and looked it up again I had every symptom, it only listed 7 or 8 but I had the lot !

If she doesn't help I'm going private

Annie x

[Annie0710]

Thank you Kathleen, hugs to you too xx

CLKD no I don't have a uterus but I tried it for the calming effect, it did kick start a good sleep pattern too, I tolerated it really well

Annie X

[CLKD]

That's good news!  Good quality sleep makes a huge difference ……….

[Annie0710]

Thanks Sparkle, hope you get on ok

This can happen to me even with family ! I just don't understand it

I've tried so many times to pick it apart, I tell myself no one is watching me, no one is judging me but I feel so damn vulnerable

I try to imagine little old me in a huge world and why am I so important that I think people might be looking at me, watching my expressions, I guess it's my self confidence at an all time low, I don't know, I wish I did know

Maybe I'm so self critical of the new me that I think others will be too

I've never been good in the fight or flight thing, times when I should've been angry my knees have turned to jelly

I've really got to sort myself out though and get back to normal

Annie x

[babyjane]

I could never get a handle on it, goodness know I tried.  I waited too long to ask for help and lost some years of my life to the anxiety.

I have been on low dose AD and BBs plus psychotherapy for 7 months now and the knotted and tangled ball of wool that was my emotional life is beginning to get unpicked and rewound now.  Admittedly my anxiety is deep rooted in my childhood but it never mattered (or I thought it didn't) until the turmoil that is menopause came along.

[Annie0710]

I could never get a handle on it, goodness know I tried.  I waited too long to ask for help and lost some years of my life to the anxiety.

I have been on low dose AD and BBs plus psychotherapy for 7 months now and the knotted and tangled ball of wool that was my emotional life is beginning to get unpicked and rewound now.  Admittedly my anxiety is deep rooted in my childhood but it never mattered (or I thought it didn't) until the turmoil that is menopause came along.

That's so sad Babyjane, I hope all your treatment works

I don't have any issues aside from meno, sure things happened to me that probably would've affected someone else but this is why I'm confused, I moved on from each thing that happened and feel sure it's purely hormone related

I can't have BBs , it was an option for the palpitations until they realised I'm asthmatic so that's a no-no.

I'll have to swallow my pride and tell that nurse actually tell me more about low dose AD

Annie x

[babyjane]

Citalopram is the usual one of choice.  I started on that and then moved to the sister drug called escitalopram which has fewer side effects.  It takes a while and the side effects lasted about 3 weeks for me and by three months I was feeling so much better.

[CLKD]

Give it a whirl and see what happens?  Don't expect too much too soon ;-).

I am better with strangers as I can walk away knowing that I am unlikely to have to engage with them again - but with friends or work colleagues it was difficult when I was younger ……. 'cos some times I would be OK, at others it was scary that anxiety might spoil 'it' for everyone 

[Annie0710]

Thank you ladies :-)

What sort of side effects did you experience ?

Annie x

[babyjane]

good morning annie.  I actually felt a shift in the way I felt in the first week but my anxiety increased and I didn't sleep very well over the first week and then it slowly receded. It also upset my tummy for about 2 weeks but when I changed to the escitalopram things got better.  I didn't really see the anxiety going for about 6 weeks but I am glad I stuck with it as it has now gone and my GP says I can stay on the low dose for as long as I want to.

[CLKD]

Some ADs were awful  - Prozac made me feel as though I had 7" heels on and I walked like I was going to sting my feet every step.  Probably looked funny to anyone watching.  Eventually we found 1 that didn't have awful side-effects and which helped the depression.  I haven't found them a 'cure' but I am enabled.

[CreamTeaGirl]

Hi Annie - I too suffer from social anxiety and a general lack of confidence, which has really knocked me sideways now I'm post meno, 'though I never was much good at being self-confident, and had anxiety issues in my 30's (I'm 53 now). I stopped working full-time in January due to stress/anxiety, which was related to the job as well as menopausal symptoms.


I've been on Citalopram 10mg (I'm not on HRT) for around 4 months now, and that combined with not working has reduced my anxiety, as well as day/night flushes. I'm lucky my hubby is very supportive, but I do want to return to work, and have found interviews have been a lot less stressful for me recently than they have been in the past. I would also say the AD's have made me generally more relaxed (as in I don't give a flying fig about a lot of things nowadays, including what people think of me/my 'lived in' look around the house etc etc!). I also have more of a 'take it or leave it' attitude with friends/family re. socialising, and enjoy spending time on my own a lot more than I used to, guilt free.

I hope my experience with AD's is helpful to you. I've had no real side-effects, but realise everyone's different. I'm it's of some comfort to you that you're definitely not alone in how you're feeling.....

CTG x

[Annie0710]

Thank you ladies so much for all your replies, I truly am grateful for you sharing your experiences on such a scary and sensitive subject.

I've been busier these last few days than I have been in god knows how long and more coming up 

Well so far I've survived them ! And pushed myself

Thursday a migraine started and ended sat afternoon which I worried about as we were invited to a birthday drinks at a new Wetherspoons that has opened last week in our town and I feared if my headache didn't shift OH and my brother would think I'm trying to bail out, anyhow I got ready and took more time with my thinning hair and put it up using a fake hair scrunchie and I felt nice, I found a lovely top in my wardrobe I don't think I've worn before and that made me feel nice.  I was anxious when I got in there as its new and seems like everyone in our town is there every night, it was packed.  We got there a couple of hours before our group arrived so I'd sank a few bacardis which relaxed me, all in all after more bacardis I had a great time and fiance broaches the subject of marriage saying we'll do it how I want the day but let's plan it for 2017!

Sunday he whisked me off food shopping (my horror trip) but I survived walking round, reminding myself that hormones are doing this to me and I've got to stop being its victim, it's not me or my fault but it won't be forever (or will it ? They tell me I'm post meno, surely I'm meant to feel better now then ?)

Today and tomorrow I'm at home working on our year end accounts so been very busy

Tonight we'd planned to take my son and his girlfriend out to dinner to our new famous wetherspoons (it's becoming our local now lol) his gf is quite shy around us still (he tends to spend most evenings at hers as they have recently lost her Dad and she keeps her mum company) and last time we went out to dinner with them I had my 'turns' (reminds me how old women used to describe their moments)

Anyway I was much better tonight, not quite my old self but no funny moments, I even spotted a male work colleague and went to say hi and met his wife, I couldn't have done that last week. 

Friday is a biggie, it's fiances annual charity golf day and I'll be meeting him after where partners and families meet up for bbq and drinks, this usually goes on til midnight , women dress up and it gets packed with local people , I always feel uncomfortable at the start but love that collectively we raise £1000s for children's cancer charity

Then Saturday my boss gets married and has invited a handful of us to the whole day, I have my dress and pinning my hopes that my special clip in hair piece comes before then and that it looks as good as their website shows, I am nervous, it's a big posh do and I'm introducing fiance to them all, the rest will follow in the evening, I'm nervous for a few reasons, nausea and indigestion has reared its ugly self again, my 'moments' of anxiety and also I have lower disc problems, I'm almost always in pain these days, and sitting or standing really makes it hurt, lying down isn't an option and I can't spend the day walking about

Part of me is a tiny bit excited as opposed to the dread I've been feeling before about these dos

Maybe writing this original post has alleviated some of it ? I was reading up about Testosterone therapy and really think this could be the missing link for me, roll on September when they call me to check my levels

Sorry, think this turned into a story !

Annie x

[CLKD]

Would a high stool help your back, if so maybe ring the 'hotel' where the wedding is to take place and see if they have one?  That way you can be ready for a rest if necessary.  Also don't be afraid to tell people if you need to take a walk to release any aches and pains, lots of people have low back problems so will understand.  Use the weather as an excuse if necessary …..

I'm a great people watcher so once you've said the necessary 'hellos' on Friday, step back and watch ;-).

   CreamTeaGirl!  Browse round.  Make notes.  A lot of what you typed is me all over - are U my twin  ! as I stopped caring about what others think many years ago.  What U C is what U get ;-).  It took all of 3 hours to cultivate the 'lived in look' in our house 

[Annie0710]

My boss is good, she ordered me everything for my chair at work to help, sadly only lieing down really helps and I can't work like that, I'll have to walk about, it's from midday to midnight so no way could I sit for even a couple of hours before I'm in a lot of pain

Annie xx