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[Wantmylifeback]

Hi Guys

It's been a while since I posted but I have been reading all your posts over the festive season.  I need someone tell me that things will get better, I am only 40 and feel like my life is over!  I am about to start on patches next week and I am absolutely terrified, I gave them a go for a week at the start of December but stopped due to side effects and too much going on with the lead up to Christmas. I am so....... miserable and depressed.  I feel like the ogre in my house, I'm angry all the time! I cannot remember the last time I felt happy

Please, please, please help

Wantmylifeback

[grumpyjane]

 
don't  despair!  We're all here for you to vent as much as you want.
I have no experience of what seems to be early menopause, but maybe you need to give the patches another try. Side effects can take a while to settle down. Others will be along with more advice 
I started hrt a month ago (I'm 58 and post menopausal) and have seen small improvements.
Good luck!
J x

[Justjules]

Hi wantmylifeback - welcome from a newbie.

It's rotten feeling like this - if there was a menopause for men, I am sure there would have  been a cure by now!

There are plenty of lovely ladies on here to help and allow you to vent.

Julesx

[Justjules]

Jane - if you don't mind me asking - how did you manage to persuade your GP to put you on HRT if you are post meno like me and the same age?  I keep reading that HRT is too late for us.

[Wantmylifeback]

Thank you ladies

Justjane, you are so right if men wouldn't be allowed to suffer like this!  I am just fed up of not knowing how i'm going to feel each day.  Yesterday I was so tired I could hardly function, I very nearly ran off the road twice driving home from work, which just added to my anxiety!  I came home lay down and fell asleep, got up and had dinner then went back to bed and slept for 11 hours (unheard of for me!).  My kids couldn't understand how I needed to go to bed at 6.30pm.  It's all so debilitating, I am know in my 2nd year of all these ups and downs, and I feel worn out by it all.  I'm jealous of all my friends, who seem full of life and happiness.  I'm not living life, I'm scraping through life and very badly at the moment I hate being a burden on people, I am normally the one who looks after and supports people and I am not taking too well to being so incapacitated, especially when you don't know how long this will go on for!!!!!

[grumpyjane]

Justjules, well I'm cheatimg slightly because I'm living abroad (Venezuela ) and it's very easy to get a doctor to prescribe what you want. I had done lots of research on here and even looked up the generic drug (hormone) brand names in spanish. After all, don't want to poison myself! I'll be back in UK for a visit in Feb so will go to GP to check everything.
Anyway, who says we can't have hrt??  Unless you have any contraindications there's no reason not to. Best to start before 60 but there are stll benefits. Read up on the info here and the NICE guidelines. Also visit Prof Studd's website.

Wantmylifeback, you definitely need some help. I can relate to the feeling of extreme lassitude which I get occasionally. It's just not like me to sleep in the daytime either. I have also been extremely irritable (hence my name  ) Tbh at the moment i dont feel too bad but that might be cos I've been home alone for a week. No OH or kids - who all wind me up. Do some reading on here and go to your GP again. Maybe they can refer you to a menopause clinic. Also isnt there something called The Daisy Network for premature meno?
Stay strong!
J x

[SallyG]

Things will get better. I was in a terribly dark place last year but after treatment, I am better. It will get better….
Sally G

[Lizab]

I am right beside you! I'm 39 this month and getting really impatient with my body and mind. My hormones need to get it together fast.

[Wantmylifeback]

Thanks ladies,  Sally G what treatment did you go on to make you better?  Lizab have you been to your GP and explained your symptoms? 

Yesterday was awful for me, there was a monster in my house and unfortunately I realised it was me!  I literally couldn't speak to anyone in my house, as everytime I opened my mouth I was vile!  I took myself off for a swim to try and elevated these feelings, but I didn't get much relief.  I am exercising most days when I have the energy and really I should be buzzing and on top of the world but I'm not I'm a moody cow who is a nightmare to live with. 

I am seriously considering asking the dr to change my AD's, I've been on venlafaxine (various strengths) for over 6 years and I've never liked it as it has horrible side effects if you forget to take or if you are unwell (vomiting),  I have argued it's benefits before but the dr has not been keen to change it.  I have been on various AD's since my early 20's due to serotonin deficiency and severe PMT, which explains all this madness I am now experiencing.

Any feedback with regards to AD's would be great.  Starting patches this week and praying that I get some normality back, cross your fingers for me please.

[Justjules]

Ha, WMFB, there is a monster in mine too!  I too am conscious that most things that come out of my mouth are horrible, negative and drive everybody mad. 

I am about to start Sertraline and am terrified as I was on Citalopram for years and they agree with me but now they don't agree with the BBs I take.  We are caught between the devil and the deep blue sea - I want something desperately to make me feel better and take this awful dragon I have become away but I don't know what it is.  I have 'tried' (note to self, no good just reading about mindfulness, meditation, yoga etc) everything and therapy and I cant' seem to apply it to me.  I do think your GP if unfair if they won't consider a different AD as apparently you can get used to one over the years and need to change or have a re-think.

Let us know how you get on and keep posting - I am moaning like a mad woman possessed on a lot of the posts at the moment and so far nobody has chucked me off!!!

Julesx

[Wantmylifeback]

Thanks Justjules, I have spoken with my GP this morning and she is encouraging me to start and run with the patches for a few weeks and see how things go, she was positive about changing my AD but wanted me to give the patches a go first, which I am happy to do.  She keeps telling me how great I am doing with exercise etc, but this just frustrates me even more as I am not getting any positive results from it!! 

I so want to wake up one morning and spring out of bed and be like "what a lovely day, what can I do today"  rather than dragging my ass into the shower telling myself that I'll get through it and it's only x amount of hours before I can shrink back into my bed and forget this nightmare only to re-awake and face it all over again! Does anyone else feel like they are living in Groundhog Day?  Hated that film. 

WMLB

[coldethyl]

Thanks Justjules, I have spoken with my GP this morning and she is encouraging me to start and run with the patches for a few weeks and see how things go, she was positive about changing my AD but wanted me to give the patches a go first, which I am happy to do.  She keeps telling me how great I am doing with exercise etc, but this just frustrates me even more as I am not getting any positive results from it!! 

I so want to wake up one morning and spring out of bed and be like "what a lovely day, what can I do today"  rather than dragging my ass into the shower telling myself that I'll get through it and it's only x amount of hours before I can shrink back into my bed and forget this nightmare only to re-awake and face it all over again! Does anyone else feel like they are living in Groundhog Day?  Hated that film. 

WMLB

I can empathise with all of that. I get up with anxiety and go to bed with it and am starting to dread the nights as I wake every half hour with the sweats and panics. I tell myself it will pass but wish it would hurry up and do so!!

[Tinkerbellj]

Just wanted to  say I feel exactly the same I am horrible and so short tempered and angry all the time and totally exhausted.  I am on my 5th different hrt well just about to start it and keeping everything crossed. I too had pmt and pnd plus terrible morning sickness so I am not good with fluctuation hormones. If it helps at all u r not alone xx

[Justjules]

Yep, definitely groundhog day for me too - hate it.  Love Thursday nights as by the time I drag my sorry ass home from work I at least know that I don't work Fridays so I have a day of not having to rush out at some ungodly hour and can do nothing if I wish, not that I do.  I used to do a lot on a Friday; housework, shopping, a coffee etc. but these days the day just passes in a blur of worry and before I know it, I've sat on my backside and googled or something and wasted it.  I am hoping that if I do manage to work up the courage to take this bloomin AD tonight or tomorrow (I'm fretting about side affects and the fact that OH won't be supportive if I panic and feel dreadful...) that it might at least be the start of feeling a little bit better.  Just now going to worry about the phone ringing tomorrow or Wed with blood results 

[Dorothy]

Hi WMLB, I'm another early, started at 35, now 40.  At least you, me & LisaB should be over it by the time the rest of our friends hit it at 50 or so!

Things WILL get better.  No one's menopause lasts forever.

Watch the tiredness - I would call in sick if it hits you that badly.  I had an experience where I was driving home from work and I have no recollection of the last part of my journey - I woke up several hours later, still wearing my coat, on the floor of my living room - obviously managed to get that far before collapsing.  After that, I learned to call in sick when I was that tired.