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Author Topic: Worried about my 21yr old son  (Read 10801 times)

Dyan

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Worried about my 21yr old son
« on: September 12, 2015, 02:13:16 PM »

 Not sure which thread this should be under so I've put it here.

My 21 year old son lives at home and I've noticed that he drinks loads of sugary fizzy drinks.
I went into his bedroom to put some clothes on his bed and found cans & bottles in his bin.
Some of the cans were opened and still had about half the drink in them and some were empty.
Didn't think much of it until I went in another time and he had carrier bags full of fizzy drinks, again some half drunk,some still full and some empty.
I know I shouldn't have but I had a little look around and found cans & bottles tucked down the side of his bed and in bags hidden away.
Again half drunk some of them.
I decided to give his room a thorough clean out and when I went to pour the half drunk cans down the sink there was all bacteria floating on the top.

I kept all the bottles & cans so he could see how much he was buying/drinking( I counted about 45) and his comment was,  " at least it's not alcohol"
He doesn't drink alcohol just soft drinks tea, & coffee all with sugar in.
My son was a big baby and has always had a weight problem but I'm really worried that all this sugar is doing him harm.
I have found more cans & bottles today hidden in his room,half drunk again, tucked down the side of his bed.Loads of them.
There was a carrier bag with 6 bottles in and his bin was full of empties but these had been put in a carrier bag tied, and then put in the bin.

My DH knows all about this and although he is worried too said, "it could be worse, drugs,fags,alcohol."
Yes, I know this but I think my son has an addiction and as diabetes is in the family I am really worried and don't know how to approach the subject to him.
My son is a lovely person and I love him but he is not very good at listening to me when I talk about something as important as this.He always likes to have the last word.

I thought the time when I kept all the cans & bottles to show him it might have hit home but if this is some kind of addiction it's not good.
I worry about his health and what must it be doing to his teeth?

Sorry for long post but I don't know what to do about this or how to even start to talk to him about it.
He is a 21 year old man and should take responsibility for his own health but I'm his mum and I do think he might have a problem.

Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thank you ladies.
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honeybun

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2015, 02:59:47 PM »

Really not sure what you can do Dyan because if he is anything like my son was at that age he just won't listen.
Does he do any sports or is he a member of a gym. The only thing you can really do is point out how much sugar he is consuming and leave it at that.
I'm sure he will come to his own conclusions and as he says at least he isn't getting drunk.
How is his diet in other ways.
My daughter around uni exam times consumes a lot of energy drinks which I hate her doing but the more I nag the more the heels get dug in.

Sorry I'm really not much help am I, but until he decides there is not much you can really do.


Honeybun
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2015, 03:02:20 PM »

He lives at home so you found out.  Maybe he wants advice but perhaps you aren't the person to offer it?  Why not call an addiction help-line to see if they have suggestions as to how to approach a young adult ………….

It could be a lazy habit  ;) i.e. buying because he is thirsty then putting the cans down and not bothering to clear them up.  However it could already be that he has a tendency to diabetes, that's how my Gran began, drinking lots and lots but it was a very hot summer so we didn't think much about it. 

Is he up to the bathroom much in the night?  Does he eat with you and is his diet generally good? 
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Dyan

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2015, 03:05:49 PM »

 :thankyou: HB
I think you're right. He has to decide what to do.
His diet is good that I feed him but I've no control over it when he's out and about,which he is a lot.
Am I just worrying too much? and be grateful it's not alcohol or drugs?
Me & my meno head :-\ worry,worry,worry........ But,I am a mum ;)
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2015, 03:09:50 PM »

No I don't think you are worrying too much.  I assume that usually you don't access his room, being of the mindset that it is his space? therefore you found out.  Maybe if you put a dustbin into his room for him to fill, bring down and empty into re-cycling he would be aware without it being in his face?  It doesn't matter what it is, if it worries you !!! does he have friends back to yours, you could have a word to see how he drinks otherwise?

If he isn't using the fizzy drinks to substitute food that is good.  However, with a genetic history of sugar issues ……. does he know?
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Dyan

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2015, 03:10:45 PM »

 :thankyou: CLKD,
Like I said above, his diet is good that I give him but I don't know what he eats when he's not here. I have no control over that.

You're right. I don't think I'm the person to talk to him about it.
He can be very awkward at times.

I have noticed that he wees a lot.
It's like nigara falls when he goes ;D
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Dyan

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2015, 03:12:28 PM »

No, I haven't mentioned the diabetes in the family.
It was on my dad's side. His mother,sister & brother all had it and they say it can skip a generation :-\
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2015, 03:19:06 PM »

Time to tell him then!  You can't protect him from everything but making him aware that diabetes is in the family is important.  It is something that adoptive adults say a lot, that by not knowing their family medical history can lead to problems  ;)

"It is time to tell you how diabetes affected A, B, C ……… so do let me or your GP know if you think you are drinking too much fizz."  Unless confronted with the disease non of us really know that it can lead to amputation.
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Dyan

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2015, 03:23:34 PM »

 :thankyou: :)
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2015, 03:25:40 PM »

You are welcome!   He may not be interested in family history at 21 but with 'who do you think you are' currently airing, maybe that's the way to approach the subject?  'I wonder how many diseases like diabetes etc. that these celebs find hidden in their family trees?'
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Limpy

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2015, 03:27:47 PM »

Dyan - CLKD's right, it would be sensible to mention the occurrences of diabetes in the family.
Also, what it can lead to, loss of sight or lower limbs ain't trivial.

Is his drinking lots of sugary drinks a new thing?
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honeybun

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2015, 03:29:29 PM »

As the mother of the singularly most awkward and stubborn boy who is now nearly 27.

Stop worrying, he will grow out of it. Ok It's not ideal but if you were finding drugs in his room then you would have cause to worry.

As for the diabetes talk.....really at 21 they think they are indistructable ....I honestly wouldn't bother.
Maybe get hubby to mention it at some point......as in .....you know your mum worries about all that sugar you are throwing down your neck.

My advice is leave well alone. It's amazing the difference even a year makes maturity wise. But if he is anything like my son he will roll his eyes and make some smart remark and ignore you anyway.

Honeybun
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2015, 03:32:43 PM »

There is no difference between sugar dependancy and other drugs ……….. [lots of you worried about my use of 'emergency' anti-anxiety drug  ;)] and these issues start small.

It already seems that the Dad isn't concerned  ;) but the Mum is ……… at least if he is told, he may take it on board and the seed may be set for him to consider the outcome.  Once he is told, the Mum can stand back for a while  ;)
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Dyan

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2015, 03:36:07 PM »

 :thankyou: all for your advice.
I'll have a chat with DH later and go from there.
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CLKD

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Re: Worried about my 21yr old son
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2015, 03:36:52 PM »

Let us know  ;)
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