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[LW44]

im still questioning whether i should stick with the 1mg elleste... still feeling low and tearful and so tired.. just been out for lunch with partner and his parents..vwas hard work smiling all the way through.. just got back and feel i could sleep for a week.. also ive got very sore boobs especially the nipples.. is this normal ? could the oestrogen be causing low mood? finished my period nearly a week ago.. x

[Briony]

I get like that when my progesterone is playing up - it's like post menstrual tension! I take a four phase pill and whenever the progesterone drops or increases, I can tell from my symptoms. (This is even worse with my natural cycle). I sympathise with the sore boobs. It's something I've never had before all this (been flat chested all my life - now a C cup and they really hurt at times) . Looking at this link, seems soreness/tenderness is linked to progesterone rather than estrogen?  http://www.avongpeducation.co.uk/handouts/2012/youngpersons/The%20pill%20ladder.pdf   I am about to switch to a pill with a higher estrogen dose so that the overall effect is less progesteone  dominant.

Hope things ease for you soon  x

[LW44]

hi briony :-)

i stopped the progestrone tabs after 5 days due to intolerance about 2 wekks ago..since had period for 3 days about a week after i finished.. i thought id be picking up now..but seem to be stuck with very low mood..which then triggers fear because it wont budge x

[Briony]

Cling on to the fact that it is 'only' hormones when that horrible fear kicks in. I have to remind myself this when I think things wont ever change and I'm forever doomed! I wonder if your own hormones are having an effect on things? (Not sure of your age/how far into meno?) On HRT mine still overrode the patch and Utro on occasions. I stopped getting normal PMT but seemed to suffer more after my period.

[LW44]

i do wonder if they are. -  you have just took the words out of my mouth.. just had complete meltdown with partner saying im not getting better its never going to go - awful awful feeling... like being suffocated by it... decided i am stopping the oestrogen.... :-/ xx

[Briony]

Not that it helps, but I know I am not alone in saying 'know how you feel'. And we all really do mean it. 

Are you sure you want to stop the estrogen? Not sure of your age, but if it's 44 (hence name) then you will probably benefit from it if youre peri/menopausal. 7 weeks is till very early days (if you search my past posts you'll see how much I panicked and nearly gave up ... but now I am glad I didn't). I'd also follow GypsyRoseLee's new thread (re pill) as it sounds like you may have a very fluctuating system like she does and I do?  We both feel we need the pill to over rule our systems as HRT just didnt feel strong enough at times.

If, on the other hand, you do decide to stop, then remember there are still other avenues to pursue. You could try the Mirena (or even Utro vaginally if you haven't already) or alternatively, you could try some of the non-hormone routes and therapies. Loads of people on here can advise you on this.

Big hugs xx

[Briony]

definately pants !  the only other times ive felt like this is after i had my children.. whats harder to accept is there are no outside factors to cause this.. like my job.. 2 gorgeous children a fiance i adore and waited a long time for !  friends.. my health.. i am very fortunate and appreciate everything i have :-)  xx

I also get what you mean about the guilt of not having anything 'genuine' to feel anxious or worried about - I'm another one of those, like you, with a long-time-waited-for, supportive partner (I'm working on the fiancé bit  ) career I enjoy, live in a nice part of the country, etc etc ... but on a bad day, none of that seems to matter. If I didnt have something to worry about, I'd worry about having no worries    Looking at other people's situations, things you read in the press, I know I should pull myself together when I feel rubbish and celebrate what I do have ... easy for me to say now, but impossible for me to accept when I'm on a downer.  At the moment, the pill seems to be working well for me and the bad days are minimal, but guess what? I am already worrying about when it 'stops working'! x

[LW44]

lol.. i keep saying to mine "this isnt what you signed up for when you met me - 3years ago.. and i understand if u have had enough. - of course he says never and it will pass.. its his birthday today and i feel so selfish and cried twice..  im due to see consultant again 6th sept to discuss my options... so will try and hang on... its just so draining and feels exactly like depression ive suffered in the past... thank you for all your advice and support briony - very much appreciated xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

The fact the only other time you have experienced these specific symptoms was after giving birth proves to me, at least, that it is most definitely your hormones causing the symptoms.

The peculiar type of anxiety and hopelessness I experience is identical to what I suffered when I had post natal depression. It feels very different to more generalised anxiety and depression. And the fact that my symptoms can suddenly descend/lift in the space of 15 minutes makes me think a chemical/hormonal reaction is taking place.

[GypsyRoseLee]

It WILL get better LW44, it honestly will.

If you trawl back through all my posts you will see literally dozens from me either saying

a) My mood has really slumped and I feel so depressed and anxious, I hate this, I am scared I will never feel any better etc

Or

b) I feel so much better today, really upbeat and positive, just how I used to fell before peri. I am sure I have turned a corner and I'm on my way to a 100% recovery.

I have posted variations on these two posts over and over and over again. To the point where I feel rather ridiculous and have resolved NOT to post I have recovered until I have been at least 90% better for at least 6 months.

But I guess at least other posters can see how incredibly up and down these mood swings can take you.

But at least with hormonal depression/anxiety it does change and shift about as your hormonal levels change and shift about. Since being on HRT my longest depressed/anxious episode lasted 11 days. Myongrst happy/upbeat episode lasted 23 days.

So please try and reassure yourself that this isn't forever. I know it feels like it (when you are so down you can't think rationally or apply logic, I know from personal experience).

It's very unlikely that oestrogen will cause low mood. It's more likely an issue with your own progesterone and you could be suffering from the withdrawal from it after your period started?

My mood dipped hugely last month 4-5 days after my withdrawal bleed started and didn't lift for 8 days. But it did lift and I was fine again for over a week. But then I had another unexpected bleed again (hadn't taken any progesterone) and my mood immediately really dipped again, and has yet to lift.

It is sooooooo hard when you're this low. I have been forcing a smile all day and dragging myself through the motions.

[Briony]

Lol GRL. I often think, if people read through my posts, they'd think I was a right nutter. No soon do I say all's well than you can be sure I'll be stressing about something! 

 I do think it gets a bit easier on the pill as you can at least gradually find logical patterns. I felt moody days 25 &26 (v low est and no prg) had headache and nausea days 27 and 28 (blank pill days) and felt normal by day 2 (highest estrogen, no prog). It wasn't pleasant but it was 'predictable' . Seeing the numbers on the pack helped a lot - but taken six months to get the pill into my system so regimentally. X

[LW44]

ahh thank you :-) but so sorry you have been through this also - i swear when im on an even keel i will never ever moan about trivial things again !   im the same..keep thinking im posting too much and up and down like a yoyo.. and so bloody indesisive about what to do.. in fact i asked my partner to make decision whether to take oestrogen tonight .. he googled and came up and said.. leave it for a week as he read 1 in 100 can suffer depression on it..and if i pick up we know its causing some of it... now just read your post and dont know what to do lol... emotionally drained... plus noticed spotting . well like a brown spotting even though been clear since period finished last week... arrggh.. xx

[LW44]

briony im nutter number 3 ;-)  x

[GypsyRoseLee]

I'm praying (and I don't do God, as a rule) that being on the Pill gives me an established pattern. I can cope with a predictable pattern.

But I just want this depression to lift, it feels like it's crushing me to the ground.

But I have taken the Pill for years, before, and it never caused flatness like this. Certainly not after only 3 days though I did use to feel a bit depressed before my withdrawal bleed on the Pill, but nothing like this. So why would it be doing it now?

[GypsyRoseLee]

I hear you LW44. If I do recover I know I will be a changed person. There will be so much little stuff that won't bother me ever again because it just won't seem important compared to feeling well and positive mentally again.