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[LW44]

Hi everyone

well ive been taking the 1mg elleste duet for about 7 weeks - had to stop taking the progestrone tabs 5 days in because of intolerance , advised by consultant to just take the oestrogen till next appt.. i am peri 44 years old and still having periods - which finally appeared last sat - pmt symptoms a lot worse than usual... finished by weds.. but still not feeling myself.. hard to explain... i am either agigtated to the point i cant bear it... then it passes... or low... not really low just a touch.. or its the feeling that something is wrong..following me around all day... horrible... im on hol at the minute having a lovely relaxing time with kids and partner..but this feeling will not bugger off... theres nothing wrong so dont understand it... its spoiling everything... the panic has disappeared... the awful feelings in morning a lot duller.. sex drive revived !  eating sleeping... reading.. can anyone relate to this ? do i just have to work through it ? could it be the oestrogen ?

[Briony]

You describe that feeling very well. I know just what you mean about it 'following you around'.     I am a similar age (43) and found I needed something stronger for these feelings - and other physical symptoms - to ease. It took a good 3-4 months for this to happen too (now take equivalent of 2mg estrogen and am wanting to move up to 3). How long til your next apt? I am no expert, but am surprised you're able to take estrogen without progesterone for any length of time? Which progesterone did you try? Did you try Utrogestan vaginally? I was so shocked to discover I liked this so much I hated stopping it. In the past, I had reacted badly to progesterones, especially the ones in the POP I took, but taking it vaginally really helped  x

[LW44]

Hi

exhausting isnt it ?  cant wait to feel "content"  by stronger do you mean a higher dose?  only a couple if weeks till appt.. as still having regularish periods its ok... then consultant plans to try other options of progestrone.. as reacted badly think he wanted to give me a few weeks to settle down... sat on decking at caravan eaten a lovely chinese...and that feeling is still lingering ! xx

[Briony]

Yep, something that suppresses ovulation and controls my hormones rather than something that just tops them up. I will switch to HRT when I am less peri menopausal and more menopausal - though not sure how I will knwo! x

[LW44]

what is it you take if you dont mind me asking ? x

[Briony]

Of course - ask away. Initially I tried Evorel 50. Made me feel slightly better but still felt the effects of fluctuations. Spoke to new doc with interest in gyne issues. She suggested a very new pill called Qlaira. She said it's kept quiet as, being bio identical, it's very expensive (and also not well known in this country - though popular in Europe). It's a very low dose of estogen compared to other BCP  and has four phases (mainly at 2mg) so it mimics your own hormone system (designed to cut side effects). Only has two no estogen days.  It's designed as a bridge from taking the pill to HRT for those ladies needing help. Apart from spotting, after three months on this I was thrilled. However, I still get spotting (sign I need a higher estrogen dose) and I do still have occasional blips - headache and nausea on lower dose days.

Talking to my doc, and other people on here, I am tempted to go for a 3mg pill. If this is something you're considering, check out these posts:

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,28739.0.html

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,28783.0.html

The biggest issue for you though will be the progesterone as even Qlaira  - like all other pills - has synthetic progesterone. Have you tried Utro?

Above all, if you try anything at all, you must give it at least 3 months, if not more. I learnt this the hard way! x 

Hope this helps x

[LW44]

thank you :-) it does.. i will take to consultant about it.. i must admit im scared to try any progesteone... if i dont tolerate he has mentioned hysto.. im just hoping i settle on this oestrogen and this feeling will fade with time x

[Briony]

I know one well known consultant suggests a regime with estrogen gel and just seven days of vaginal Utrogeston per month (think that's how many days - know it is low) for those who can't tolerate it.  Check out Professor Studd's site. Could be worth trying Utrogeston vaginally before opting for a hyster. I found it so much better than synthetic prog and I think a lot of other ladies on here have found the same x

[Sarai]

I'm 53 and not taking anything right now. Just wanted to say I relate to the lows, I can cry for England and then it stops, but also the nagging 'something must be wrong' feeling, almost like shouldn't I be worrying about something. I cant seem to feel content anywhere, like I need to keep moving even though I am exhausted.
I've been like this months now but have had a terrible year. I do doubt I will ever feel like me again.

[Briony]

I'm 53 and not taking anything right now. Just wanted to say I relate to the lows, I can cry for England and then it stops, but also the nagging 'something must be wrong' feeling, almost like shouldn't I be worrying about something. I cant seem to feel content anywhere, like I need to keep moving even though I am exhausted.
I've been like this months now but have had a terrible year. I do doubt I will ever feel like me again.

That too sounds familiar. You must remember that it's not your mind per se, but your hormones, which are probably causing it. When someone said that to me, it helped me feel a bit more in control of my destiny.  You may never feel exactly like you again, but there are many people on here who will testify that you can get through it and feel like yourself again, albeit an updated version - a kind of 'new normal'. I have accepted I may not ever be as worry free as I was, I will never be able to play the sports I did pre this hormonal nightmare and health anxiety will always lurk horribly nearby, but I have now found a sense of contentment again. Before, I would avoid planning anything as it felt pointless to plan anything then have no enjoyment from it. I was constantly 'needing' to be busy - tired but wired. I remember just feeling numb - not even sad - like  I was looking at my life through tinted windows. For me, the breakthrough was after six months of  HRT when my hormones suddenly strted to calm, but I know that's a personal choice which isn't for everyone. Have a look on here, explore supplements, dietary changes and therapies if HRT isn't for you, look at the pros and cons of different approaches and hopefully, you will find something that will work for you.

Big hugs x

[LW44]

very wise words Briony :-)  i know we will all get there... looking forward to that day i can tell you. - and you hit the nail on the head...busy busy busy... i never feel i can relax until night time...dont feel comfortable with it at the moment..when the feelings take over i get up and do ! xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Oh yes, I know that feeling very well indeed. An uneasiness, a slight feeling of dread, an inability to just exhale and enjoy the moment, a feeling of tension, a total lack of contentment, the feeling that everything you do is futile because life is pointless.....................it just lingers there, draining all the colour from your life.

When I have 'this' feeling it feels like I'm just dragging myself through the day. I have to force myself to make conversation. I can't see the point in anything. I can't get any satisfaction from doing anything because even though I have completed a task I get no sense of achievement. I just feel numb and forlorn inside. There's no pleasure. No excitement.

Tonight we're meeting friends at my favourite restaurant. I am just feeling numb and forlorn. Don't care if I go. Don't care if I don't go. Can't be bothered about what to wear. Couldn't care less if I drive or my husband drives.

I will make myself wear something nice and do my make up. But there's no pleasure in it. No sense of excited anticipation of a good night ahead. Just nothing.

And I totally get that 'wired but tired' feeling. It's like I daren't stop tidying round, straightening up, re arranging drawers, folding towels. I'm scared to stop. If I stop then these awful feelings of emptiness might overwhelm me completely.

So, last night at 9.30pm I'm faffing about straightening the shoe rack and my poor husband just wants me to sit with him and watch a film. But the thought of relaxing like that makes me feel panicky. It's awful.

But then when I get good days and weeks where I feel upbeat and positive, it's almost too much for me and I feel almost giddy and out of control. It's quite scary to be honest.

I am praying very hard that taking the BCP shuts down my hormonal rollercoaster and just let's me enjoy a sedate go on the roundabout instead. No ups and downs thank you.

[LW44]

is it hormones causing this feeling then ?  i feel that today.. having conversation with neighbours... but feel empty and tearful inside... no idea why? xx

[Briony]

is it hormones causing this feeling then ?  i feel that today.. having conversation with neighbours... but feel empty and tearful inside... no idea why? xx

The fact so many of us never felt like this before we had hormone problems, the fact HRT/the pill eases the feeling for some women, the fact it's worse near our period, makes me think it has to be linked.  That said, the other symptoms - pain, nausea, chills, flushes, heavy bleeding or whatever - are enough to make someone feel pretty miserable and that no doubt exacerbates things. Pants, isn't it! X

[LW44]

definately pants !  the only other times ive felt like this is after i had my children.. whats harder to accept is there are no outside factors to cause this.. like my job.. 2 gorgeous children a fiance i adore and waited a long time for !  friends.. my health.. i am very fortunate and appreciate everything i have :-)  xx