Peterspots - I'me sorry you're having such a horrible time.
It's difficult to know what to suggest.
You appear to discount things that are suggested either by people here (local oestrogen).
Or indeed by others (your consultant). "I don't think he listened to me as my problem is pain not frequency. The medicine is for overactive bladder which I don't have"

.....
You say you "have friends who have had their lives transformed with ADs"
Fair enough, request some ADs then, though I believe they are not without their own problems.
Do you have any particular ADs in mind?
BTW - I've just seen your comment re taking co-codamol at night. Personally I find co-codamol very drying and wouldn't be surprised if that aggravated any existing bladder pain or discomfort.