If she won't offer HRT, and you want to take something, I would recommend Qlaira. It's a very low dose pill, but it is bio identical, unlike nearly all other contraceptive pills. I had a few side effects initially (mainly itching!) but by month three, I began to feel miles more like myself than I have in ages. Now on month five and so glad I switched. My only criticism is that I get occasional fatigue and spotting. Friends who've taken it for heavy periods say it has massively helped. The estrogen dose in it is similar to a medium dose patch, I believe (apart from two slightly higher days and four slightly lower days, designed to mimic your own hormones).
Sadly, there is no miracle cure, but this is definitely the best thing I've tried so far.
xxx