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[babyjane]

I am sorry you are feeling so horrible.  I relate to your comment about the switch flicking over in your head.  It is ridiculous, I can be standing at the kitchen sink wondering why I am bothering to wash the tea things and I can feel something physically lifting up away from me and by the time I have finished I am in a different frame of mind from when I started.

Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying washing up gives me a mood boost, I am saying how quickly and unexpectedly that switch can flick over.  It's ridiculous.  Hope you feel better soon.

[Kathleen]

Hello GypsyRoseLee.

I've just caught up with this thread and I agree with the other ladies, both in terms of experience and feeling so frustrated with it all.
I wish I could find the magic potion that would help us but at least we have each other and that means a lot.

Sending hugs and best wishes.

Take care.

K.

[rebelyell]

I totally understand about the switch in your head.  I am also in a terrible place at the moment.  The only thing that gets me through is being busy [which is good, as have lots on this month and next!] or reading or walking.

I feel I want to escape from my head at times.    All I can say is that we all know it will lift - there are too many women over the age of 60 enjoying life so this stage must end eventually.

Take it easy, but most importantly be kind to yourself.   Now is not the time for any self-criticism and definitely you need to avoid 'mood hoover' people.

xx

[TropicalVon69]

Hi GRL....hope you're feeling a bit better :-)....still on my period but started evorel yesterday and had the best day I've had for a year....halved the patch though....today I woke up very anxious again...solo disheartening, have whacked the other half of patch on and keeping fingers crossed.....hugs and love to you xxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Babyjane, I am so glad you understand. People must think I'm bonkers. Literally in the time it can take to make a cup of tea and sip it, my mood can go from real feelings of bleak despair to quite buoyant and positive. I feel something like a mental 'nudge' in my brain and then a sort of 'shifting' pressure in my chest and within 2-3 minutes I can be smiling and upbeat.

I honestly thought I was going mad the first few times it happened? I knew about 'mood swings' by this point, but assumed your mood would take several hours to 'swing'. Not just a few moments 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Just wanted to say thank you again for everyone's support. It has really helped me through a tough weekend. Since I originally posted on Friday afternoon my mood has lifted slightly and I feel more 'stable' inside my head (I know you all know what I mean).

Yesterday I felt stable mood-wise, but very drained both physically and emotionally. Like I was recovering from a big emotional shock to the system. But I guess that's exactly what I'd had? When your mood dips that low I think it does shock your system. I spent the afternoon on the sofa with a book. I didn't feel low or anxious anymore, but just didn't have the mental/physical energy to do anything at all.

In a way it was quite relaxing and I just felt very 'Yeah, whatever' about everything  But I recognise this feeling and have had it many times before. It comes after a bad dip.

Today I have had more energy. But my boobs are painful, so think I might get a period in the next few days? I hope so. It would be good to get it over with and behind me before I go on holiday. Then it would be wonderful if my mood does the same steep oestrogen rise like it did last month which left me feeling 'stoned' for several days But that's probably too much to hope for?

I've just noticed something. When my mood is 'good' I use emoticons. When I'm very down I don't bother.

[TropicalVon69]

So glad you're feeling better Gypsyrose.....its lovely to hear......I am currently in the dip and struggling......Hoping your lovely stoned feeling comes back for your holiday.....have a lovely day xxx

[Tealady12]

Very glad to hear your mood has lifted a little Gypsy Rose Lee and hope that you continue to feel better for your holiday. Day at a time is the only way I can exist when I feel low and desolate, sometimes an hour at a time.... I find it mind boggling how incredibly powerful our hormones are.
Hope today is brighter still for you and for all of us ladies on this hormonal rollercoaster.
Have a great holiday
Tealady xxx

[notgivingin]

I really feel for you, I have been really low too - for me its circumstances too as my other half doesnt live with me so I feel very
alone at times. It came on suddenly this real dip in mood. I have been unable to function properly. Everything is such an effort and I am full of self loathing. I only work part time but feels like a life sentence of endurance . 

I am going to force myself to go for a walk around the park if I can as I must do something to lift this cloud.  I remember this happening after I had my daughter and was put onto anti depressants - but I didnt feel part of this world on those.  I am currently
on herbal medicine to sort out the periods - It seems i am in the thick of peri-menopause , not sleeping , very hot flashes etc

I am so releived to have found this site to understand what others are going through. Its a scary feeling when the mood gets so black you feel like ending it.  Not like me at all. So when you feel bad about posting you are actually helping many

I hope you pick up a little soon. I hope I do Im off on hols in a few weeks..

[trac896]

I completely understand how you feel and wouldn't wish it on anybody.  I started HRT three months ago, started off ok.....over the last month I have felt tired, lethargic, very emotional, very depressed....I hate my job, I hate getting up in the morning, and I walk round like a zombie feeling sorry for my self.  Please tell me this is not normal?  I didn't feel like this before.  I just looked at my hubby today and welled up for no reason. I have no mojo,....my husbands words were I wish I could get the old tracy back.

[Dandelion]

I completely understand how you feel and wouldn't wish it on anybody.  I started HRT three months ago, started off ok.....over the last month I have felt tired, lethargic, very emotional, very depressed....I hate my job, I hate getting up in the morning, and I walk round like a zombie feeling sorry for my self.  Please tell me this is not normal?  I didn't feel like this before.  I just looked at my hubby today and welled up for no reason. I have no mojo,....my husbands words were I wish I could get the old tracy back.

Hi tracy

Sorry to hear you are feeling low.
Is there any chance you can look for another job, because work takes up a lot of time and its best to be happy in your work.
It's horrible not wanting to get up in the morning.
I take hrt and while it has helped the flushes, it has not helped with low moods, I don't get any lifts, wish I did, just low moods, and feelings of being doomed and fearing feeling unsafe.

Hi Gypsy,

Hope you are feeling better now. I would try and stay on a stable dose oestrogen. hugs

[GypsyRoseLee]

notgivingin - I also suffered with depression after my daughter was born. I had never experienced anything like it before. I felt incredibly bleak and despairing inside all the time. It started before I'd even left the hospital with her 

I was treated with anti depressants but they didn't really lift the depression, they just made me feel numb and like a robot. I wish I had been treated with hormones instead. Have you read Prof. John Studd's website? He's got some really interesting stuff on there about PND and hormonal depression. I recognised myself immediately.

I hope you start to feel better soon x

[jedigirl]

GRL,
As always I can identify so closely with your posts. I'm dreading going to bed tonight knowing how fearful I will wake at 4 in the morning, it takes my breath away and I hate it. I too hate that i am reduced to this, its not me.
Glad you're feeling more positive now, long may it continue. Hopefully as time progresses on the HRT your good days will outnumber the bad.
Hugs Jedigirl x

[CLKD]

I can be going along kind of OK then my brain will start to dip - I feel it between my temples.  Fortunately it doesn't last long and fortunately I recognise that it won't.  But it can bring on feelings of despair really quickly. 

How's your diet?

[Briony]

Big hugs, Gipsy Rose Lee

Remember, it's still early days in your HRT journey. Looking back, HRT took me at least three to four months to kick in. I was then strong enough to switch to a combined pill, rather than HRT, as my doctor felt at my age (40s) my body needed stronger, more controlling oestrogen rather than just a 'top up'.

What you need to keep reminding yourself is that the bad days, whilst still there, will gradually reduce in number and you will hopefully feel stronger to deal with them when they do occur.  I used to feel so bleak and negative, like 'this will never end,' whereas now I tend to ride the hormonal storm, rest, eat as my body wants and most importantly of all, resist the temptation to beat myself up for being 'pathetic'... knowing things will at some point once again improve really does help x.