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[CLKD]

If someone had bothered to ask when I was 5 years old   

Anorexia in more 'recent' years has been generally media-led in that young people want to look like 'celebrities'.  There's been a lot of pressure which our Grandparents didn't have.  Also, there is no anorexia in 3rd World countries  .  I expect that there is modern-day danger-led lack of eating though, either due to not having access to regular food stuffs or due to the problems in War-torn countries 

[Taz2]

People in Third World countries do experience eating disorders. It's become much more widespread since internet access became available. I found this explanation of anorexia interesting http://eating-disorders.org.uk/information/all-about-anorexia/

Taz x

[Limpy]

sufferers are often misdiagnosed with an eating disorder when it is really the fear of eating something which will lead to vomiting.

It sounds like Bulimia when it's put like that.

[Taz2]

No - I mean they are so scared of eating something that will cause them to vomit i.e. from food poisoning or allergy that they don't eat.

Taz x 

[Limpy]

You are obviously correct Taz - I'd mistakenly picked up on an obsessional link which I'd seen mentioned somewhere in relation to Bulimia 

[CLKD]

Anorexia is where people refuse/avoid eating
Bulimia is where people eat but purge, usually be making themselves vomit or take to many laxities to purge the gut

[honeybun]

What should have been asked when you were five CLKD.
It's very young, I can barely remember anything from that age at all.

Fortunately I never passed on my issues to my kids....I thought at one point I had with my daughter but she is very matter of fact about vomiting, my son is the same so for that I am grateful. They both know as I never hid it when they got older.

I still maintain no matter what the phobia, if a family member needs you.....you do it.

Is there any choice.

For the members of the forum that are really affected by this would they turn away from a partner that needed help if it was life threatening or would they just cope the best you could.


Honeybun
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[CLKD]

Someone should have asked me why I wasn't eating ……… but no one ever did. 

[honeybun]

Kids are picky, mine were and I didn't think much more about it.


Did you ever get a diagnosis of anorexia, or professional help.


Honeybun
X

[CLKD]

Yep.  Mum was told when I was 5 and that I 'would grow out of it' …….. I hid it until my mid-30s when I became housebound through fear and the GP arranged counselling.  But although I was given 'coping' strategies, not one 'expert' was able to advise a 'cure'.  Relaxation therapy helped for a while.  Staying home was the best as I didn't have to worry about encountering any of the triggers.

The BB does help in that it kills any feelings in the gut area which means I can eat 'properly'.  Since I re-started the 40mg. last week I am less aware of negative feelings in the gut.  >phew<.

I have had to accept that there isn't a 'cure' because as one 'expert' Psychologist told me, it would be unethical to suggest one.  In other words, she had no idea ………..   

[honeybun]

So you were hardly eating anything and very thin ?

That's my understanding of it.
My daughter had a school friend who was anorexic. It was a reaction to her mum having breast cancer. Again a control thing in a life that was being rocked by her mothers illness. She spent a lot of time at my house and sat with the family for meals and moved food around her plate while only eating a tiny amount. Nothing to do with a sickness phobia though.

She even ate tissues in an attempt to feel full but not actually put on weight.
I met her the other week and she is going into fourth year of medical school and looks great. She got help thanks to her mum and dad.

I'm not sure how you can hide anorexia ....this girl was four stone at one point and in hospital. She was very very ill.

How did you manage to hide something so big ? From hubby.


Honeybun
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[getting_old]

HB I seriously hope that I would try to help, but I know that it would be extremely hard and I would be fighting the urge to run away.

When I've been sick I've not wanted anyone around, and I lock myself in the bathroom.

Just reading through this has made me think about my mother. She was anorexic for a number of years and even when she seemed to have recovered she had a very awkward relationship with food. I always thought it was because she thought she was overweight - when she became anorexic she would talk about how fat she looked and even when she was below 6 stone she would tell us how people in the street told her she was fat, but I now wonder if her fear of being sick contributed. As I said we were never close so it wasn't something we ever discussed, and she never actually admitted she was anorexic to me so it wasn't something that could be talked about.

Her anorexia had a big impact on me, and I have always refused to diet because of it. I do tend to stick to fairly plain foods, although that is more to do with allergies and just not liking too much flavour, but maybe there is a subconscious element of avoiding something which may make me sick too.

Not sure about others but this has really made me think about myself and also about my mother.

[CLKD]

I didn't need to hide it.  From a very early age Mum fed me chocolate 'rainbow' drops …….. chocolate kept me alive.  I don't remember food as such, I did have years when I ate 'within normal limits' because I had hollow legs  ……..

At my lowest weight: 5st : C.mas 1970 : Mum threatened to take me to the GP but didn't follow through.  Too late, she told me a GP would laugh so NO WAY would I have gone, by then I was going to Surgery without a parent present.  I never lost having periods though [bugga  ].  I ate enough to remain upright.  I ate a lot of Milk of Magnesia to stop my guts growling with the thought that it would stop me vomiting  - I kept that Company in funds for years  .

DH got to know as we grew together.  We have code words when I need to leave a situation because the phobia is taking over.  If I don't feel well enough we cancel invites when necessary.  There are events I no longer put myself through even if it's expected by others = less anxiety.

I was 7st 2 when we married and remained at 6st 2 for over 25 years not that I stepped on the scales often.  We lived an active Life-style - lots of walking, cycling, swimming, hill walking …….. but I DREADED eating with friends because most Cultures take time preparing and sharing food and in my 18s/20s/30s I didn't like to turn it down. Now we are all older no one seems to notice when we are out that I don't eat/much.

In the 1990s I did notice an engrained parental habit when my nephew was 2/3 years old and staying with his Grandparents: my Dad kept saying 'eat a little more for me' when it was obvious he didn't want food.  I could see old habits beginning  ….. it made my blood run cold.  My sister was at the table stuffing her face and told me later that she didn't notice, my nephew left the room ……… he and I had a little chat later. 

It was safer not to eat much as there wasn't much to come back.  My GP asked my weight last week but I had no idea, he put me onto the scales and apparently what ever it is, is OK 

[CLKD]

getting_old - some of that rings bells too.  When my sister was ill I ran away from the house, found by my Dad later, a mile away …….. still my parents did NOTHING  ….. although Dad did understand I was frightened and in hindsight I know why he didn't step in other than to look after me when necessary.

When DH is ill I run away ……… we had a pact around drink too, he knew from early on that should he return home drunk it would be divorce.  He did come home twice and the 2nd time knew he had over-stepped the mark.  I locked him in the house and spent the night shivering by our ponds.  I told him that to ignore my fear and to come home drunk was abuse.  Never did it again because he loves me    .

Which is why he cooks for me, he told me in the early hours ………. 'after all, I have to cook for me so I'll make extras' …..     

[honeybun]

I think most anorexics have a very distorted body image.

The link that Taz posted showed a very clear link between the fear of being sick and not eating.

Anorexics are completely different.

Anorexia nervosa — often simply called anorexia — is an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight. People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with activities in their lives.

To prevent weight gain or to continue losing weight, people with anorexia usually severely restrict the amount of food they eat. They may control calorie intake by vomiting after eating or by misusing laxatives, diet aids, diuretics or enemas. They may also try to lose weight by exercising excessively.

Some people with anorexia binge and purge, similar to individuals with bulimia nervosa. However, people with anorexia generally struggle with an abnormally low body weight, while individuals with bulimia typically are normal to above normal weight. No matter how weight loss is achieved, the person with anorexia has an intense fear of gaining weight.

Anorexia isn't really about food. It's an unhealthy way to try to cope with emotional problems. When you have anorexia, you often equate thinness with self-worth.

Anorexia can be very difficult to overcome. But with treatment, you can gain a better sense of who you are, return to healthier eating habits and reverse some of anorexia's serious complications.

Seems very different to what we have been discussing.

As an aside CLKD, when my hubby had a heart attack he vomited as a lot of people do. I did not run. I called 999 and then followed the advice to help keep him alive.

Tell me .....what would you do.


Honeybun
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