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[Chi chi]

So it's been 3 weeks since I had the Oestradiol and testosterone implants inserted and a week since stopping the gels. I started spotting on the day I stopped the gels which has progressed to bleeding now although I think it may be tailing off now. I've been falling asleep real easy in bed at night which makes a nice change as before it was taking me ages. My skin seems to have become really dry and itchy especially on my legs (don't know if this is related)? But I feel my mood is dropping and the anxiety seems to be building  I've felt shaky, nervous and spaced out at times, I've emailed Proff Studd but also spoke to his receptionist who is very helpful. She said quite possibly my levels haven't risen enough yet but after 3 weeks she thought they should have? I asked about the period and she said that it sounds like my own progesterone wasn't suppressed enough because of the drop in  oestrogen when stopping the gels (I think I've got that right)?? She said I could restart the gels maybe just the oestrogel for a few more days to give the implant a while longer or just wait as she's sure that the implants should be kicking in pretty imminently.
So I'm waiting for a reply to my email but at the moment starting to regret having them  I really don't want my mood going any lower 

[pepperminty]

Hi Estelle,
 I am sorry you are having a bad time . Hang in there , it may improve.
Pepperminty xx

[Chi chi]

Thanks pepperminty  I really hope it does too! I've got a hectic weekend unfortunately  father in law is down from Wales for his 60th and its my daughters 15th tomorrow. We've just come back from a meal out and I felt so out of it, really anxious and just wanted to run and hide, wasn't hungry at all, I was reading the menu but couldn't concentrate on it everybody was talking and enjoying it but I just wanted to escape from all the noise and people  I hate feeling like this, all I could think about was how bad I felt and what if I suddenly went crazy and lost the plot and in front of everyone  and got it all to do again tomorrow night!
I bought some Starflower Oil yesterday but am too scared to even take that incase it makes me feel worse 
I haven't had a reply from Proff Studd yet but decided to have 2 pumps of Oestrogel this evening to see if it helps at all??
I hate feeling scared and panicky especially when there's nothing to be afraid of 

[pepperminty]

Bless you,

I know exactly how you feel!! I am sitting in bed feeling exactly the same , out of control . I had a stressful time at the beginning of the year and what with the peri meno was feeling quite poorly. I had reactive anxiety  then , but my PMT  anxiety brought on by HRT is hormonal I think, if that makes sense? I don't know what's worse? It's hard to understand if you haven't experienced it.
 I am for want of a better word 'terrified' like yourself, afraid of being worse if I do or don't do anything. Can you tell your husband that you feel like this and ask him to support you , so if you feel a bit dodgy he can be there and if the worse comes to the worse you can always escape outside for a bit or go home? Sometimes knowing that there is an escape route (even if you don't take it ) helps.
 I am not an expert but I would ask a doctor before taking anything such  as starflower oil, I shouldn't think it will override the hormones anyway , but maybe adding another thing at the moment to worry whether it has caused a reaction is not a good idea?
 I understand the desperate feeling of wanting to feel better and hoping that something will work. It would be lovely to enjoy life and be happy, but it's an uphill struggle at the moment!! I do hope you manage ok  this weekend , try to maintain a sense of humour if you can. Sometimes I can see the funny side, but not at the moment .

Pepperminty xx

[lancashirelass]

I seriously think you need your.levels testing its ok saying top up still but high levels can give same.symptoms as low.  Im amazed proff studd hasnt asked your gp to do this, my.chap gets.mine done a few weeks.after my.implant to see how its working and then towards the six.month renewal a few times to check again. 

[Chi chi]

Thank you  I know what your saying about telling hubby and then him having to make excuses for me but that kinda feels worse in a way as then I feel people will be watching me waiting for something to happen 
The receptionist did say it was a bit too soon to check my levels and that we couldn't do that until 2 May??
Still no reply from Proff Studd 

I wish it was just a "normal" lazy weekend 
I keep feeling sweaty and hot all of a sudden too, I wonder if this is just the anxiety though??

[pepperminty]

Hi Estelle,

Don't be too hard on yourself. just imagine if it was someone else in your position , you wouldn't judge them or think anything less of them . You are normal and not alone and yes it sounds like anxiety. I would recommend contacting your GP and asking for a CBT course to help with anxiety maybe, Sometimes taking control can help. I've been on one and they are great. It is nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about.
You also have a plan ref checking your levels, so that's positive.
Peppermintyxx

[Hurdity]

Hi Estelle

Sorry to hear you are still not feeling right...

I agree with lancashirelass - I'm not sure I would want to use gel on top of the implant until levels had been tested because as she says if your levels get too high (higher than they would normally occur in your body at ovulation) then this can cause the same symptoms - known as tachyphylaxis. Prof Studd himself has written about this. Don't want to alarm you but you really don't want to risk this because it becomes more difficult then to get levels right at which symptoms are controlled. The info is here: http://www.studd.co.uk/implants.php

If you can possibly wait I would. I expect that's easier said than done! Also don't forget also the testosterone will presumably give rise to some side effects and the two hormones working together, after both being replaced (I have no experience of T and very little knowledge!).

Try not to worry and I really hope you get something sorted soon that are are happy with.

Hurdity x

[lancashirelass]

Also estelle you had a high t implant which converts to oestrogen so i think you may be high.  I may be wrong ask.for.bloods

[Chi chi]

Thank you everyone 
Last night wasn't too bad while we were out but yesterday I had bad waves of anxiety, that horrible feeling of dread and panic, I've got it today too  as well as feeling shaky and jittery  thank god today is back to normal and I can just veg out on the sofa.
Re levels, this is what I don't understand as we want them to go on how we feel not our levels, but I think there MUST be a certain cut off when too much is TOO MUCH? How do we know when??
My anxiety and low mood hasn't been this bad for ages but is it to do with the change from gels to implants or something else?? Nothing has really changed except the switch to implants 
I'm due to start the Provera on May 1st and am dreading that already 

Thanks again  hope You all have a good day 

[pepperminty]

Good luck , keep us all informed 
Pmintyxx

[Sphere27]

Really understand how you feeling. I'm not normally someone
Who is anxious. It's been bad along with daily headaches. Trying to find hrt
That suits but thinking I will just give up and hope I don't have
Total meltdown!! Ruining my life.
Hope you get sorted. Keep us informed. Xx

[Chi chi]

I was hoping to have had a reply from Studd today but nothing  hubby kept telling me to ring and chase things up a bit but I feel too anxious to speak to him (if you've met him you'll understand)  seriously considering seeing someone else instead?? Am I asking too much to get a reply since Friday? Especially when it costs £200 and were only in his office for less than 1/2 hour 

[Chi chi]

Hi everyone,
Well I finally had a reply today (if you can call it that)!?!?
I sent another email this morning just to 'jog' his memory  I explained that I was still feeling quite low and things don't seem to be improving since stopping the gels and having the implants, and that I am now 6 days into my first month of Provera (I'm supposed to take it for 10 days each month). I also asked what my options are for having the implants removed and re starting the gels, even though I was on 4 pumps of Oestrogel and a tube of Testim per week but that it seemed to be losing its effectiveness. I noticed he was taking notes during the appt and asked him what he would have suggested if I hadn't mentioned the implants?

His reply -

You certainly had a very good dose of pellets with the implant and I am sure this will work.
Why don't you start the Provera on 1st June.

 

 

[pepperminty]

Hi Estelle,

I know very little about these implants , but what I do know is that the reply seems a bit slap dash !! It doesn't really tell you anything or reassure you it seems. I would speak to his secretary again and try to get her onside. Also have some questions written down perhaps. You need to decide how you feel and what you want to do. Try not to feel intimidated by the man as you are paying him to do a job basically and if you feel he isn't doing it properly then you need to try and be more assertive if you can . I know it is difficult , especially as you do not feel 100%. Maybe you need to give the implants a bit longer to work ? Don't give up and keep strong.

Pepperminty xx