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[Cristina]

Hi ladies. At the moment all I can say is that I am fit to scream all the time despite that fact that nothing is really wrong in my life and I am in good health. I have a family, home, job, and even a holiday coming up but nothing seems to be making me happy.

I'm on HRT (Eleste Duet 1mg) for the past 4 months and it seems to be working for flushes etc. but I really don't understand what is wrong with me at the moment. I'm just in such a bad mood, like I'm going to either cry or scream or throttle someone. I am trying very hard to keep my temper in check but it's not easy. I work with people on a 1:1 basis and I really can't be bothered with them. They come to me in good faith and in my mind I'm thinking 'oh go away and get over yourself'. I do what I have to do but there is no real motivation at the moment. I used to bend over backwards to help people.Even innocent strangers on the train are getting it (in my head I'm making really bitchy comments about them). I walked out of my class half way through last night, I just couldn't take it. I feel like I'm going mad.

Does anyone have any suggestions about why this might be happening and what I can do about it? Or is it just something to put up with?

Thanks to anyone who reads this. X

[Sphere27]

Hi bern exactly the same along with anxiety too. I Think it's bern the prigesterone I've been on at night, doc thinks I'm very sensitive to it. I used to be the same with pmt. I'm off it now and back in femoston Conti. Mood def slightly better. I totally understand how you feel. I think this meno hrt journey is a total roller coaster and I don't really know the answer.
Maybe speak to doctor incase you need a change. I have changed hrt few times when I have felt things not right. It's trial and error
Take care xx

[Joyce]

Oh I find it so hard to just put up with things these days. Want to tell some to take a hike. I used to be a nice patient person, I still am sometimes. But heaven help anyone who pushes the wrong button at the wrong time!  My hubby has caught it in more than one occasion as has my son. My daughter is lucky she lives so far away!

I'm only on oestrogen, so not sure of cause. I'm blaming my age, not hormones.

[Kathleen]

Hello Cristina and welcome to the forum.

Oh how I remember the rage! If people knew what I thought of them I'd be locked up! I recall sitting in the doctor's surgery and thinking " this is another reason I can't go on holiday because I couldn't tolerate sitting in an airport lounge surrounded by other people".

I am using Evorel 50 mcg patches and although I still have problems I've noticed the rage and irritability has decreased a lot so I think you may need to give your HRT a bit more time.

Other ladies will be along to advise as your situation is a common one. Oh, the joys of the menopause.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

[Cristina]

Thanks for answering.

Kathleen you mentioning the holiday made me think - menopause has taken the pleasure out of things I used to really look forward to. That's the worst of it I think. I mean what kind of warped mind has it given me that I am dreading a holiday? Dreading meeting people, spending time with my husband on our own, making an effort. What kind of ungrateful cow am I when others never get to go anywhere? I used to jump at every invitation, now I'm making excuses not to go for lunch, or even out for a walk with a friend because I'm afraid I'll go off at someone. I'm sure a lot of you feel the same and it's good to know I'm not the only one. 

[Ju Ju]

Don't beat yourself up! Do you have supervision sessions so you can off load? Along with age, hormones, could this be stress? This can happen when you work and care for others, putting their needs before your own. You can rationalise this as much you like, tell your yourself there is no reason to feel as you do. But feelings do not have any ambition, but to be felt. Stress creeps up on you; it doesn't listen to reason. Listen to your body and your feelings. Talk to someone, be it a doctor, councillor or even a life coach.

[SueRoe]

Cristina, you're not "an ungrateful cow" - your feelings are out of control and that doesn't make you a bad person! I know exactly how you feel as do many, many other women. It's absolutely s**t! If someone could read our minds we'd find ourselves in court/prison. I too have no time for other people. They irritate me to the point of rage sometimes so I'm keeping a low profile. I have no solutions I'm afraid. I would have thought your HRT would have evened things out by now after 4 months if it was going to though. Is it the first one you've tried? Why not have a word with your GP about how you feel ( if you can bear sitting in the waiting room) he/she might have something else to offer? One thing just occurs to me - are you cheering yourself up with cakes/sweets/biscuits? They make me MUCH worse. Also, try not to let yourself get hungry. If you gain a few pounds so be it, your sanity is more important for now! Let us know how you're doing - we can stand being SHOUTED AT from our safe distance! 

[Cristina]

JuJu re supervision - a sore point at the moment due to staff changes i.e. not happening. Maybe I should get counselling/stress leave! Freda thank you for saying that people irritate you to the point of rage and that you're keeping a low profile. Makes me feel a bit more normal as I am exactly the same - zero tolerance!! I would probably be arrested if my murderous thoughts could be seen by other people. Thankfully I haven't put on weight as yet and though I'm tempted to eat a pack of biscuits after every meal, I've managed to stick to one or two so far! Yes I think I'll have to go back to the doc if this goes on - I have morphed into someone I don't really like i.e. a total B**** but thank god for this forum so I can tell people without feeling like they're going to call the men in white coats....or police...

[Ju Ju]

That's awful not having supervision. I presume everything is confidential, so you cannot offload to just anyone. Whoever you are working for is not fulfilling their responsibilities to you and indirectly to your clients. Don't feel bad about your feelings. You can't stop having them, but try not to chase them! You are making the choice not to follow them through! Thoughts are not real, just in your head. There is no such thing as thought police, thank goodness! I would be condemned for some thoughts I have had!  Do consider getting some support for you and I suspect leave will become essential eventually, if this stress and you just try to keep going without support.

[CLKD]

HORMONES   

There is always a 'reason' - stress, not eating properly, alcohol, family issues …….. but temper can come out of 'nothing', certainly when I was menstruating I would have several days each month when I would FLY