Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[toffeecushion]

I have spent the last half hour in tears, have decided not to go to work today.

I don't like feeling like this and I am scared of how I will be in the future, I really hope it doesn't get much worse.

I am 48 and missed my first period back in September 2014 this was followed by a 53 day period then a break of 5 days then a period again.  Since then my periods have been every 22 - 26 days and now this month it is 32 days and still counting.  I have been aching all over for a while now and just recently my ribs have been hurting every time I move so I have made an appointment with my doctor just to check out that it isn't something sinister.  This morning when I woke up I could hardly walk to the bathroom, I ache and am so stiff, I feel so old.  And then the tears started, I feel such a mess and so pessimistic about the future yet I have so much to be thankful for and lots to look for to.  But with the aches and the dreaded anxiety life feels a little bleak at the moment.

Thanks for reading, just needed to off load

[dazned]

  Toffecushion

Sorry you are feeling so bad ,just wanted to send you a hug .  X

[Salad]

Hi 

It's awful when you feel dreadful- sorry you feel so bad.

I had a Total Abdominal Hysterectomy in 2011 so thankfully my days of horrendous periods are over.

I've tried not to say 'why me?' when I've had a bad spell of menopausal symptoms, but I do wonder how some people (everyone I know personally) have just sailed through menopause!
I'm lucky to have a really supportive GP and family.

I was told I had 'menopausal arthritis' but when my HRT is well balanced I am totally pain free. I do Pilates which also helps- sometimes I stagger in to class but am able to stroll out 

Hope you feel better soon x

[jedigirl]

Hey toffeecushion
I'm in the same boat hun. Came home from work early yesterday after feeling so dizzy and anxious I couldn't concentrate. Got home and sobbed for ages which gave me a whopping headache!

Got a doctors appointment and told him I needed to see an expert in menopause. I was fed up of trying to second guess which part of my hrt needed tweeking. He said"just tell me your symptoms and let's see what we can do"

He felt my menopausal anxiety was giving me symptoms that might clear if we addressed the anxiety so gave me a higher dose of Sertraline. I didn't really want it but can see if I try this they might look at remaining symptoms. Who knows , he might be right!

I also can ache around my ribs, it was really bad before the HRT. The last three days my hair has been greasy which it never has before. The doctor insisted on weighing me yesterday and i was so upset that i was just over seven stone. I've lost over a stone since all this started. Can't wait for it to be over. I'm staying home the next two days to rest and look after myself a bit. I feel I need it, though feel guilty about work. The higher sertraline has made me feel shaky today so no point being there anyway.

Just wanted to tell you you're not alone, I feel old too, I look and feel different. Use your time off to be kind to yourself, this is hard.
Gigantic hugs xxx
jg

[toffeecushion]

Thanks for your replies, it means so much knowing I am not alone.

[Kathleen]

Hello toffeecushion and so sorry that you are suffering.

I've recently changed my HRT and it's not going well, so you have my sympathy. I often feel I need a good cry but even that is not the tension release it was before the menopause.

My trusty menopause book lists feelings of pessimism as one of the common symptoms and frankly that is hardly surprising.

Hopefully you will turn a corner soon.

Take care and sending hugs.

K.

PS Hugs to you as well jedigirl, this is a rough road for some of us, that's for sure! K.

[CLKD]

Once you are on here, you are never alone >wave< - usually someone will be along …….

It doesn't matter that you haven't anything to be down about, this menopause lark can cause pain, mood swings, despair …. but it does pass.  Taking pain relief might help, Nurofen eases any sciatica I have particularly if I can follow up with a brisk walk!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hello Toffeecushion.

I promise you are not alone. We are all here to help and support each other. Lots of women here know exactly how you feel.

I sympathise with your pessimism. One of the hardest aspects of my peri menopause is the fear that my symptoms won't be cured by HRT and that I might suffer like this for another 10 or even 15 years. And that doesn't bear even thinking about.

The anxiety has really frightened me. I feel it has scarred me so much that I won't ever be able to forget or 100% recover. I worry so much that this anxiety will always leave an echo in me.

[toffeecushion]

Thank you all for your support, it really does mean so much.  I am off to the doctors this morning, will update when I get home

[Annie0710]

Do we have older ladies on the forum that can tell us this does get easier?
I have no one apart from you ladies to talk to, no mum, no sister, no friends who are suffering

I remember my mum having hot flushes and was moody (I was going through puberty myself so didn't understand her problems).  I know she must've suffered because she started  drinking :-(

My dad wouldn't have been supportive either ( he was old school) and my mum always worked full time. She must've hid her symptoms so well because she was always there for me as a mum and a friend.  I remember her coming to me when I was 24 because she told me she was struggling with sex and my dad wasn't understanding it so I sat him down and said she's struggling with dryness.  She never went to gp so never received any hrt. 

Mum had a brain haemmhorage while I was with her and was in a coma almost straight away for 3 days before she gave in and a nurse took me to one side and asked if I knew about her prolapse, I didn't have a clue, she said it was the worst total prolapse she'd ever seen.  All those times my mum helped me through my gynae problems and the hysterectomy and she's been suffering herself too without a word to anyone

But what I do remember is in the years before she died she had amazing energy, started work at 3.45am when most women her age had retired, had a brief nap in the afternoon then out gardening etc , she was inspirational
Xx

[honeybun]

I think unfortunately that the ladies who come to this site are the ones who have meno problems. For the ones who manage well, and I'm sure there are plenty, don't end up here needing support.


We just have to live in hope I guess.

Honeyb
x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Annie, your poor Mum. What a trooper she was.

I also remember my Mum having bouts of being very low and tearful when she got into her late 30s. She would sit next to the gramophone (remember them?) playing lots of sad records and tearful, and wouldn't really respond if you spoke to her. But would be absolutely fine the next day. I found it quite frightening as a little girl. I once overheard my Dad telling someone that my Mum 'was suffering with her nerves'. Actually I could get a bit cross about it now, because I think it was rather self indulgent of her and she shouldn't have let me see her like that (perhaps waited until I was in bed before playing the sad records?).

She had a hysterectomy (fibroids) in her early 40s then went straight onto HRT. As part of the operation she had a blood transfusion because her blood count had been so low. Afterwards she reported feeling so much better and stronger emotionally then she had for years. She put this down to the blood transfusion but I expect it was probably the HRT working?

She only took HRT for a couple of years. But even when she stopped there was no reoccurence of the 'nerves' she had suffered with in her late 30s. She tackled a new, quite responsible job. She took up line dancing and nursed both my grandparents through long illnesses.
I hope some older ladies come along to reassure us that there is a lovely warm light at the end of the tunnel. But I suppose that's not very likely, as I think only women who struggle with the menopause find their way here?

I would be able to cope much better if I could have a crystal ball and could see that in xyz numbers of years all this would be an unpleasant memory. It's the not knowing that is so hard to deal with.

[samlevy1]

Hiya toffeecushion
Really sorry to hear that you're feeling so low ,but rest assured that you're not on you're own,I'm sitting here feeling exactly the same my back and arms ache sooo much at the moment I feel like I'm about 150 ,the fatigue is a nightmare and the palpatations decide to rear their ugly head at 2am in the morning when I've gotta get up for work at 4:30,but I just keep thinking to myself it might be horrible now but it won't last forever I'm trying to take each day as it comes and deal with each individual symptom as they arise,this is a horrible thing to go through but youre not going through it alone ,try and keep you're chin up xx

[Taz2]

Hi samlevy - are you on any type of HRT? It seems a shame that you feel so low when you may be able to control your meno symptoms.

Taz x

[samlevy1]

Hiya Taz2
No I'm not on any HRT, I wanted to try n get through this without HRT if possible ? I have an aunt who had breast cancer so I'm a higher risk,I'm currently takin Red clover,and a multivitamin with ginseng,which has been helping but the aches in my arms and back have become quite bad recently so I'm taking painkillers for that ,I really want to get through it without HRT, and at the moment my way of coping is taking each day as it comes and Dealing with the symptoms accordingly,regardless of what they are ??
Thanks for asking though it's good to know that I'm not going through it alone .
Sam x