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[tabbycat3838]

Hello guys,
I hope you are all doing ok.well as the title says, im a little bit embarrassed about the fact that i raved so much about the HRT on here, when in actual fact it made me so sick in the end that i had to come off of it.
Tried it for 3 months so gave it my best shot.
I think initially i must have had some kind of high or buzz off of it, as very quickly i had some kind of "surge"from it.as time went on however things just went back to the way they were and worse.
I was also still having my own regular cycle through it rather than the breakthrough bleeding you are supposed to have.periods became very prolonged and heavy.
Anyway, i then aquired yet another virus (i rarely do not have some sort of virus) and then the extreme palpitations started which went on relentlessly day in day out for several weeks.everytime i bent down, turned over in bed walked anywhere, did anything.as ive shown a prolonged qt reading on ecgs this sent anxiety through the roof and a thousand trips to gp.apparantly they are not bothered but am seing a cardio anyway.
They have now gone, but only because ive started juicing and upping my calcium  pottassium and magnesium  as i realised i was very low in these due to not eating properly.i also stopped drinking for 3 months.i do feel marginally better for doing this stuff.
Anyway just thinking out loud really, as feeling particularly low today. Im fed up with feeling so up and down and ill, fatigued week and freezing cold all the time,and not functioning like i used to.bored also of spending so much time in bed as im so cold and low.i feel hollow and hopeless at times.circumstances in my life are still very tricky as am waiting for a move date,had to sell house for financial reasons.my son is off the rails and the boy i used to be so close to feels like a complete stranger to me now and we cant stand the sight of each other.it seems the weaker i feel, the more he wants to put the boot in and make life even more,of a struggle.my family is completely fractured at the moment and thats devestating.as we,re usually so close.i dont feel i have the streangth or tolerance to deal with my kids anymore.i feel ive been a single parent on and off for 23 years and im fed up with it.im fed up with being unnapreciated and criticised.i feel like nothings ever going to feel ok again,i just wanna run away  and cant even take hrt for some relief.
Anyway, just needed to get some thoughts down here , i know im not alone in all of this just still shocked at the way hormones can make you feel so not youreself.
Hugs to all who are feeling rubbish.x

[Taz2]

Hi tabbycat. I haven't got any answers but just wanted to send you a hug. You have got so much on your plate at the moment but we are all here for you.

Taz x 

[tabbycat3838]

Hi Taz, how are you??:-) nice to hear from you and thankyou.xx
I feel so childish sometimes lol funny how i feel more childish at the time in my life when im supposed to grow up the most! bloody tantrum tilly i feel like. Theres so many people out there having such a hard time its crazy xx

[Dancinggirl]

tabbycat - I'm so sorry to hear you are in such a bad place at the moment.  Sometimes life just becomes overwhelming and it's difficult to find a way forward.  It's sounds to me that you tried HRT too soon and I don't know which HRt preparation you tried but I certainly found the higher doses didn't agree with me in early peri -  I think my own fluctuating hormones played havoc.
It has been terribly cold lately - I normally love the wintertime but the recent cold winds seem to penetrate my bones - I've had horrible aches and pains.  You could also be low on Vitamin D which is very common at this time of year - the medical profession now knows that the vast majority of us have Vit D deficiency and this leads to fatigue and low mood. To get the main source of Vitamin D we need around 15 mins in the sun every day without sunblock which is very difficult to get in this country.  Supplements of Vit D3 are cheap and well worth taking - particularly in winter throughout to spring.
What you are going through now does sound like a nasty bout of depression and this can be treated. Some CBT or even some SSRIs might be worth trying to get you through this tough time.
I do hope things improve soon.  DG x

[rosebud57]

Hi tabbycat.  Gosh you are having a hard time.  I was just wondering about the fact you feel cold all the time.  Has your GP checked your thyroid function??

Just try to be kind to yourself.  Sometimes you just have to be selfish.  Back off a bit from your son as he is not helping the situation.  You will probably find his attitude will change if you ignore him for a bit. Lads usually get like that with their Dads but if you are the only parent he's  focusing his angst on you, just when you don't need it.  He will survive so concentrate on you.

 

[tabbycat3838]

Hello DG, how are you 'thanks for reply also :-)xx yeah i think you are right about the vit d.after doing alot of research i am of the thought that we are all very deficient in alot of things as our soils are so depleted so even with a healthy diet, its often not enough.
I have ramped up my diet big time,loads of nuts and seeds,and vegetables,cut out bread and other white carbs. Which does help with blood sugar issues.
As you say tho its very difficult to get vitamin d and ive been indoors in bed most of the winter coz victorian house is too expensive to heat and i do feel like a different woman when the sun comes out (dont we all)
Ive never had a vit d test, as the doctors,seem to think doing exactly the same bog standard  blood tests every few months is going to throw up a different result lol their thinking is non sense.
I will continue to eat well and wait for some sunshine.im yet to experience the hot flushes people have such a hard time with as i am the total opposite.last night i slept with a hot water bottle.maybe you are right. It feels like it has been particularly and relentlessly cold this year! You are defo right about depressed, tho it is transitory, i dont take prescribed drugs as i had a prescribed drug addiction that took me many years to recover from so meds not an option for me . xx

[tabbycat3838]

Hello rosebud :-) god you read my mind as that is,exactly what i have decided to do.i have decided that i will be there to pick up the pieces but that ultimately he is choosing his own path.i have guided him, talked with him, we have always been very open and extremely close. but i just cant handle the nastiness he directs towards me, its absaloutely vile and hurts beyond words,ive been through all the same with my daughter but i somehow had more faith in her to come through.he is just completely thoughtless, careless and in self destruct mode. im getting help for him but am worried sick about him  i am so intolerant because of my own crap im deaing with, i am reacting and being unkind back to him now saying stuff i would never have said to him before.i need to do exactly what you say tho and back off.let him learn to  fend for himself.ive always done everything for him not that he believes,that lol.he is very expecting. Thankyou so much, its almost like youve given me permission to do what i already feel is best.xx oh and yes thryoid is "normal"all bloods are "normal "x lol x

[Kathleen]

hello tabbycat.

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I agree that hormones are mighty powerful and I'm amazed at how awful they can make you feel. You say all your bloods are normal and I assume that includes iron levels because as you know being anaemic can make you feel cold, having said that I often feel cold as well as flushy! In her meno book Miriam Stoppard explains that the areas in the brain that control body temperature are affected by changing hormones so it is a meno problem and maybe instead of hot flushes you are experiencing the chills.

Hopefully the cardiologist will be able to put your mind at rest about having long qts and suggest something that will help and reassure you, perhaps some Beta Blockers? I was diagnosed with a bowel problem at the same time I began the menopause and since then a lot of my anxiety is focused on my guts which of course makes me feel worse, add to that the health anxiety that comes with the meno and it's no wonder we obsess about our bodies.

You don't say how old your son is but young men are notoriously awkward and feisty and they also have trouble handling their hormones, the fact that you are getting help for him is the right thing to do I'm sure.

This is a tough time in our lives and as you can see from the forum there are many ladies who completely understand and sympathise with you and your situation so take heart, you are not alone.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

[peegeetip]

Hi TabbyCat

"Tried it for 3 months so gave it my best shot."

Sorry but 3 months is the mimimum to let the "right" HRT get you back on track.

If you get it right in the 3 months then you'd be lucky.

For me heavy/longer/more painful periods were part of my experience then they calmed down as my body got back to normal.
Not surprising really as I'd not had a "normal" period in a long time.

I've said before it took me 6 months+ to get back to normal with the help of HRT.
Perhaps I missed it but not sure what you took and what other affects you had.

If you did get virii around that time then that would not have been your HRT.
If your vit and mins were down around that time then again HRT would not have caused this or made it worse.

Hope you get back to feeling well as soon as possible but dont push the HRT away when you've not given it a chance in real terms.

sorry to hear about your family too, hope you get help on that, take care

 

[Suzi Q]

OH Tabby
Poor you life can be so bloody unfair at times
HRT isnt for everyone its not the PANACIA for all ills BUT it might be this one didnt suit you?
There maybe another that will? I didnt take it I soldiered on I had no choice couldnt take it,
Stress or utter sadness is all a part of the meno pre and post . When a close family is fractured it hurts more.
Be kind to yourself next time specifically ask for BTESTS u want make yourself heard
As for your son unless he does something really bad HES ur son just changing its OK not to like him@the moment
As for palps or skippies they are a major part of meno that hardly anyone knows I had/have them I take Beta Blocs
But its good your having Heart checked cant hurt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[CJ-sleepless]

I picked up part of your post saying you were freezing cold and fatigued - have you had your thyroid checked? Just in case you haven't thought I'd mention it

[tabbycat3838]

Hi peegitip,with respect everyone is different.i have had proplems,with my nervous system and am extremely sensative to medications of all sorts.
I am 100 percent sure that it was the hrt that caused the palpitations which lasted over a month and were extremely severe.
I have never been able to tolerate even birth control pills.
I was "ok" with the hrt untill the three month mark which as i am aware is generally how long it takes to kick in.
I was using fem 7 sequi and still having my own regular cycle through it.
I had perviously only missed two periods in a year 18 months ago going back to a regular cycle for the last year.
I am not slating hrt and know it helps alot of women, but for me, it has not helped as i originally thought and infact made things worse in the end.
Thankyou for your reply, do hope hope you are well.x

[tabbycat3838]

Hi kathleen, thankyou for your post :-) yrs i do take iron for low ferratin have had to for years now, still cant get levels up very high!
Yes ive been around here a few times haha and still feel shocked  and a bit baffled although its so helpful reading about other peoples experiences, i think ive been in denial quite a bit because as ive said i still have regular periods,and i find it difficult to believe that  a doctor can diagnose menopause from one blood test and two skipped periods but, i think im starting to realise that that really is whats going on at the least a hormone imbalance caused by peri.
Thankyou for your advice about my son.its very different with boys isnt it.my daughter was a total nightmare too but i guess because she is female i related to her more.i have no clue about teenage boys.
I hope you are ok with your bowels now?its funny how we fixate on a cerrtain part of our body, or that a particular part is so prone to things,and the anxiety of course makes,everything so much worse! X

[Dancinggirl]

It's not the best combination - teenage hormones making our kids difficult and menopause making us more anxious and less able to cope.  If you can detach a bit more it can help - I know it's easier said than done.
Have you tried Mindful Meditation? I've found it really good to deal with stress. DG x

[tabbycat3838]

Hey suzi :-) thank you for replying.. :-) The palps were horrendous, ive always had them and they never bothered me at all untill then, i felt like i had elephants running around in my chest lall day every day.. Very disconcerting.were /are yours like that too?if so i feel for you!
Whats btests suzi?is that b12? I think mine are ok now but used to be very low.
Thankyou re my son, I just see him slipping, no, hurtling down that slippery slope and it makes me angry that tjhere seems to be nothing i can do.i am not the right person to help him anymore as he hates my guts and just doesnt want to listen to me at all :-( any suggestiions i make are just discarded and i am all the *****  under the sun at the moment.
Oh and re the palps i took the patch off about three weeks ago and they have been on the decline since then, everything feels virtualy back to normal now bar the occasional gentle flutter.x