Hi and welcome to MM Penners
There are many of us who can relate to your plight - you are really not alone. It's a taboo subject that is embarrassing and I now look at women my age and think "are they feeling uncomfortable around their lady parts?"
My first thought is, are you just using the local oestrogen cream twice a week? Many of us need to use it more often. I find that keeping the flora balance in the vaginal area really difficult and if it's out of balance this tends to make me itch and feel sore. BV and thrush take hold far more easily once we hit meno. I use Mulit Gyn Actigel every day as well as local oestrogen and I'm now back on full HRT as well - I'm comfortable most of the time now and sex is back on the table

BTW I'm 59.
You mention you've tried various lubes and Replens - it get's expensive doesn't it???!! It is about finding the regime that works for you. Sadly local oestrogen alone didn't help me that much but many others find it really works but often have to do an extra 2 week daily load. How long have you been using the oestrogen cream? Have you tried Vagifem which is a bit simpler and less messy to use?
Some women find almond or vitamin E oil massaged into the dry, sore areas can be good - I used this when I was pregnant to soften up the perineum before the birth.
I'm afraid lots of extra lubrication during sex is essential.
I'm sure others will be along with advice. DG x