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Author Topic: not wanting to go out and soclising  (Read 9262 times)

vanessa spain

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not wanting to go out and soclising
« on: February 01, 2015, 01:01:41 PM »

i just cant understand why i dont want to go out and meet people that i know it is so not like me ive never been one for staying in but i just sit in my corner of the setee and dont want to move i used to love going out to eat but just cant face it anymore i know its because of anxiety but still cant accept whats happening been living in spain for 2 and a half years first year and a half i would be out all the time but 1 day last march a wk after my 52nd birthday we were walking home from a meal out i started to feel panic and dizzy from there on i have been like this i have sufferd anxiety for many years but before this happend i was doing ok i know ive said before im on hrt antidepresant which ive been on for years just wondering if anyone can relate to this thanks vanessa spain
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Joyce

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2015, 01:21:13 PM »

Things cause anxiety in me these days that never used to. Journeys, some social events. Got family travelling 400 odd miles north to visit us next weekend, that too causes anxiety. Never used to bat an eyelid. Driving at night brings me out in a sweat & driving any further than town, which is about 4 miles, sends my heart racing.  I've not long started tablets for anxiety & CBT. The menopause has a lot to answer for!
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honeybun

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2015, 04:16:08 PM »

I used to love going out especially to a nice restaurant. Three years ago this summer I had a panic attack which came out of the blue, in fact when I think about it I had two in the space of a few weeks. That was it....I have not had a meal out since.
I miss the way I was and the life I had. I am a bit better but I still have a few huge stumbling blocks to work my way around.

I don't think there is any easy answer apart from giving it time. My mother was like this and she did get better after being practically agoraphobic. So that gives me hope for the future. It came out of the blue so hopefully it will just fade away.

I can't even blame not being on HRT as I had been on patches for two years at that point.


Honeyb
X
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CLKD

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2015, 05:13:31 PM »

You may need a beta-blocka to ease those awful anxiety surges?  Be kind to yourself.  Take half a day at a time.  I still need to do that  ::) otherwise I can scare myself silly without trying.  How do you feel if people want to visit with you, I couldn't do that either for ages  :'( - I couldn't answer the phone and a letter plopping onto the mat made me feel ill  :-\ :'( because I knew I had to answer it and felt under pressure ……..
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Kathleen

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2015, 07:12:03 PM »

Hello vanessa spain.

I can totally relate to your post. My trusty book says that activities that we used to handle with ease can now leave us in disarray and I think that's true.
 
I went to the cinema recently for the first time in years but I told my husband that if I had a funny turn I would just get up and leave and he was okay with that. I was nervous beforehand but I was calm when there and actually enjoyed the film. Goodness knows what will happen the next time I try it but it goes to show how crazy this meno business is. I also take heart from hearing about honeybun's mum and hope all this weird anxiety fades in time.

As you can see you are not alone. Take care.

K.

 
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vanessa spain

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2015, 07:50:04 PM »

hi thanks for your replies well done kathleen to going to the cinema i know the feeling it takes a lot of guts yes i might think about beta blockers dont know if i can take them im on blood pressure pills i dont think theres any easy answer jus to try and stay possitive xx
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CLKD

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2015, 09:14:03 PM »

What Blood pressure medication do you take already? 

Also - relaxation therapy helped me a lot.  Deep breathing. 
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cheekygal

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2015, 05:42:53 PM »

Vanessa, I can totally relate to your post.  I haven't been out socially in over 18 months, my youngest just turned 16 and for the first time I don't have to rely on sitters, but just don't have any interest in going out because of my anxiety, it's the constant feeling on unease that stops me, it's awful. I live in the corner of my sofa also, even here I sometimes feel uneasy.  However, hopefully like Honeybun's mum, it will pass and we will all be out partying in the near future :)

CG x
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vanessa spain

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2015, 07:37:08 PM »

yes woudnt it be nice to think that 1 day we will be back to normal im taking antealol 50mg a day been on it for years yes i also feel uneasy sitting at home aswell vanessa spain xx
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warwick01

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2015, 07:52:24 PM »


Hi

I feel exactly the same. I gave up my job 6 months ago due to anxiety caused by meno. Since then I stay at home most of the day watching TV. The main problem for me is feeling dizzy (lightheaded) kind of faint feeling. It scares the hell out of me.

I also get what I call compulsive thoughts, sort of irrational impulse which drives my anxiety. I am 56 and for me it's a living hell.

Glad I'm not alone!
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CLKD

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2015, 08:23:15 PM »

Warwick - if you aren't eating you can feel light headed.  Also, I have a nerve in the back of my neck which makes me feel suddenly and sharply woozy  ::)  enough to make me go 'oh' …… don't faint fortunately as it doesn't last that long.

Maybe Vanessa - you might need a different BB? one that eases anxiety surges?
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daisie

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2015, 07:54:24 AM »

 hi Vanessa..just thought id pop in here..im the exact same I don't want to go out and socialise any more I just want to be in my own company and cant be bothered with things I used to do  before the menopause .. the anxiety and depression have been the worst thing for me it is so frustrating I used to love going out with friends and having a good time ..but since the menopause all what I used to be seems a million miles away x
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EllaM

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2015, 09:57:59 AM »

Hi everyone, I too am stuck to the corner of my sofa most days just feeling awful and tearful and not being able to cope with work despite HRT and anti depressants. I force myself out in the afternoons for a walk with my gorgeous and very mad spaniel but apart from this just want to be at home as I worry I won't manage or feel well in other situations. The confident, fun loving, fitness addict, workaholic has gone but I pray she starts to make a reappearance soon.

Big hugs to you all xxx
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CLKD

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #13 on: February 03, 2015, 11:49:42 AM »

EllaM - my anxiety was caused by pet ownership.   :'( but I wasn't aware of it and enjoyed being out and about with my cocker.  Watching her working the ground brightened my spirits  :-* …….
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EllaM

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Re: not wanting to go out and soclising
« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2015, 12:50:48 PM »

CLKD, my cocker is at the teenage delinquent stage and loves getting her head down a hole or getting the scent of a critter then trying to dig it out or catch it. She becomes selectively deaf and just won't come back despite the whistle.  I've been told this stage will pass, a bit like this menopause nonsense.

I love to see her ears flapping in the breeze, she brings me so much joy.
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