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[babypink2807]

Well I wasn't looking forward to Xmas. Last one was dreadful and the year before worse, it was hell on earth.  I finally ended my abusive relationship in August which was horrendous and have watched in the last few weeks folk getting all ready for Xmas.  The usual wind down days and asking what everyone was doing so I made up my own social calendar, when in fact I was barely doing anything

I have been doing long walks with the dog, and spending time at the stables. I am utterly broke and sat in my bed, with my dressing gown on keeping warm I can barely afford my fuel bills.  I'm supposed to meet two friends for lunch but said I will for coffee.  I told them to text me to say what they are doing, if it's lunch I will have to abstain.  I'm going to see family on Sunday, doing one trip as I have to watch my fuel too.  I made a deal with them all not to buy me anything, but if they did, practical stuff like socks, or food for my dog.

I have planned things for next year so as to not slip into depression.  I am doing a charity walk next year, and a visit to my friend in Ireland and then a weekend away in Scotland with a couple of friends

I am dreading new year eve, as I keep hearing my ex parting words, no one wants you, you have no friends, you will be sad and lonely, you are a whore, a piece of sh1t and a mess.

I know I will pick up again, but sometimes you just get fed up with picking up pieces

[Ju Ju]

Oh Blossom, I'm so sorry and thank goodness your ex is your ex. You do not deserve such abusive behaviour; no one does. This was about him and the awful place he was in, not about you. You are in a difficult situation financially, but the way is up now. You are now free to build a support system around you, including support from contributors to this forum and a better life. Not easy, but I hear strength in your post. You can do it and you can find joy in the small things in life. Let others help you. I feel honoured when friends ask for my help. Keeping posting if it helps. 

[Limpy]

Blossom the guy sounded like a rat. Don't think any comments from him are worth considering at all.
You are worth far more than that.

Lots of hugs

   

[Dulciana]

Blossom -     -  and  for keeping going.  Have a great 2015.

[littleminnie]

Blossom, don't take any notice of what your ex says. If he is saying all those nasty things then he is the one with the problem. New Year's Eve is just another day, not every body celebrates it anyway, we just do our normal thing and usually go to bed before midnight anyway.
You might not have much money but at least you are rid of him.
Be strong and think of positive things you can do in 2015.
Do you work?

[babypink2807]

Yes I work full time. It's a busy job and I like it, and I'm actually good at it.  I am liking the walking too, it's more power walking but I do get a sense of achievement.  My charity walk I am looking forward to again I set it as a target for June.  I have told people I'm doing it so that I HAVE to do it.  My charity is Crohns and Colitis UK

I had a few savings and when my ex left I decorated the house which I had not bothered with since I bought it.  I could not see the point in doing it up while he was in the house and had no respect for me or my home.  It does look beautiful though now I can't believe it's the same house.  Only the bedrooms to do now and front garden

I've lost two stone since changing my diet on instruction from a nutritionist.  Cut put as much wheat and dairy as I can and feel better for it, I think that's why I'm not so exhausted and can do the walking bit.

I still have my really down days, I think that's the illness and the meno sort of a double whammy, but manage to get through it.

Once new year is out of the way and back at work and folk stop talking about what they did I will be ok

[Ju Ju]

Well done! You are looking after your health and your environment. You know what what you are not prepared and should not tolerate. You have a job you enjoy, you walk regularly, which is beneficial both physically and gives you emotional space as well. You have animals around to love.

Is your financial situation temporary? Perhaps because you no longer have any financial input from the ex? Worrying, but are there practical solutions you can explore here?

As to the New Year? Never rated it myself, as I'm not a party animal. But plan some TV viewing and a good walk. Now is the beginning of a better life, a loving relationship with yourself and opening yourself to friendships with people who will treat in the way you deserve and who you can with love and kindness too.

[oldsheep]

 
I'm glad you're rid of him, although I'm so sorry about your pain and circumstances. Long walks with the dog sound good to me. Look after yourself

[babypink2807]

Thanks, I'm sure it will be ok.

I have an appt with my consultant in January 2015 they want to remove the rest of my colon, which I have agreed to have it done and keep my stoma.  I would prefer the operation in 2016 so I can enjoy 2015 without hopefully any hiccups

[CLKD]

I can't add much here except maybe go to Citizens Advice Bureua if you haven't already …… for financial advice. 

Maybe getting the surgical intervention out of the way sooner rather than later? or postpone it whilst you build up your emotional health?  Do you get to have a discussion with your Consultant again soon?  Make a list of how you feel so that you have something to talk through with him. 

Spending time with a horse and dog is something I would have relished …….. this feeling of 'loneliness' all go.  The words of your ex will fade.  You need to have on your bathroom mirror - 'I am worth more than those words'  - making a 'to do' list is perhaps a start, each evening give yourself goals so that you can see what you *have* achieved.  Doing so helped me SO much when I was severely depressed during the 1990s. 

Little steps. Keep posting!

[babypink2807]

I set my goals for 2015. My charity walk, my holiday to the Isle of Skye my friends in Ireland and my trip to the IOM TT races too.  I don't want to ruin it with my OP need to be in the right frame of mind

[CLKD]

Crikey - that's going some!  Why not add in MotoGP at S.stone as well  ………. we loved the Isle of Skye nearly 10 years ago 

These Plans will probably do you more good if you remain well than undergoing surgery!  Have you told your Surgeon, he will maybe expect a card from your trips! 

[Rowan]

I think it was because Santa had too many cookies and milk (or so he said) at each of his visits down the chimney.

[CLKD]

What was  ………….

[Taz2]

Might be the crohns colitis thread..

Taz x